There but for the Grace of God, Go I: Tips and Websites for Keeping Your Child Safe In and Around Vehicles

The Game of Parenthood

 

Much of the time, parenthood feels like a competition with other parents. No matter what choices you make, whether based on intuition, research, polling other parents or a little bit of each, and no matter how confident you are in the decisions you have made, you will feel wrong, judged, flaky, arrogant, triumphant, smart, better, clever and a long list of other positive and negative feelings some of the time. Let the games begin!

• Round One starts the moment your ever growing belly announces to the world there is a little being growing inside. Some of the issues up for disscussion:
  • Stroller make and model;
  • Breast feeding or formula feeding;
  • Co-sleeping;
  • Cloth diapers or disposable;
  • Doula;
  • Midwife or doctor.
• Round Two, the beautiful bouncing baby is born. Some of the topics in this Round:
  • Hours of sleep in between feedings;
  • Paci, thumb or nothing at all;
  • Colicky, reflux and/or allergies;
  • Feeding baby solids at 4 months;
  • Mommy gets her "old figure" back by 6 months.
• Round Three includes the developmentally milestones. Baby is growing:
  • Holds up head at 1 week;
  • Hasn't started rolling at 3 months;
  • Scoots on bottom rather than crawling on all fours;
  • Cruises, waves and/or dances;
  • Walking at 9 months or baby doesn't walk until 17 months;
  • First words at 5 months or baby's first words at 2 years.
• Next is Round Four, a.k.a. general socialization, which comprises art class, music class, dance class, tumbling, Spanish, soccer, tennis, swimming, tee ball, preschool, etc.
  • child taking early childhood music by 3 months;
  • child playing youth sports at age 3;
  • child registered for dance or tumbling classes by age 2;
  • child taking swim lessons by age 2;
  • child enrolled in preschool by age 3.

     

The rounds of the competition continue forever. The thing is there are no right or wrong answers. All the questions are trick questions. We, as parents, can be caddy and quick to judge. The right and wrong answers change from one parent to the next. The judgment can range from one end of the spectrum to the other: parents are over stimulating their child to parents are not exposing their child to enough; parents are working too much and not spending enough time with their child to the parents never leave that child with anyone.

 

Parental Judgment

 

It's my opinion that parents are quick to judge someone who does things differently because it eases the parental self-doubt to label someone different as wrong. Honestly, who among us is free from parental self-doubt. If we are parenting correctly and others are not, then we feel better about the job we are doing with our own kids. It's easy to say I would NEVER let our child sleep in our bed; ride a bike without a helmet; drink juice; watch DVDs in the car; scream and screech just because; waste food; etc, especially before your child is born! It's also comforting to say to ourselves I would never be so upset with my infant that I would shake him to death like that parent in the newspaper; I would never answer the phone while my toddler is taking a bath like the parent on TV; or I would never forget that my child is in the car and leave him there for 9 hours while I worked like the parent in the magazine. Never say never! The truth is parents are universally overworked, overtired, over-stimulated, and the brain can play terrible tricks.

 

Safety Tips

 

Here are ways to ensure that your child is safe in and around vehicles:

Safe Kids USA urges all adults to take the following steps:

• Call 911 if they see a child unattended in a vehicle.
• Never leave children alone in a vehicle - even for a minute.
• Set your cell phone or Blackberry reminder to be sure you drop your child off at daycare.
• Place a cell phone, PDA, purse, briefcase, gym bag or whatever is to be carried from the car on the floor in front of the child in a back seat.  This forces the adult to open the back door and observe the child before leaving.
• Set your computer "Outlook" program to ask you, "Did you drop off at daycare today?"
• Have a plan with your child care provider to call if your child does not arrive when expected.  
• Check cars and trunks first if a child goes missing

Children should never be left alone in a vehicle, not even to run a quick errand. Harrison's Hope offers parents the following tips to help keep their children safe.

• Plan ahead to use drive-through services where available such as pharmacies and banks. More and more services are adding drive-through convenience, including dry cleaners, restaurants (beyond fast food), libraries, grocery stores, and even dog grooming. A quick search on the Internet will help you find convenient drive-through services in your area.
• Call dry cleaners and other businesses to schedule pick-up and drop-off services at your vehicle. Most businesses will bring service curbside if you call ahead.
• Make advance arrangements for your child-care provider to meet you at your vehicle. Alternatively, plan extra time into your pick-up/drop-off routine to bring all children inside with you.
• Use your debit or credit card at the gas pump.
• Ask grocery store clerks to load your bags into your vehicle and return the grocery cart.
• If possible, leave your children with a responsible adult. Arrange a baby-sitting co-op with your neighbor to give you an hour to run errands.

Accidents can happen right in your own garage or driveway. Harrison's Hope offers parents the following tips to help prevent accidents in or around vehicles.

• Keep vehicles locked at all times -- even in the garage or driveway.
• Never leave keys within the reach of children.
• Teach children to never play in or around vehicles.
• Consider installing cross-view mirrors and/or a backup detection device on your vehicle.
• Make sure all young passengers have left your car after it is parked.

From Harrison's Hope (See Websites for additional information)

 

Another good idea that I read about was to place a stuffed animal in the car seat. When you put your child in the seat, place the stuffed animal in the front passenger seat. Then, you know if you see the stuffed animal sitting next to you, your child is in his or her car seat.

 

Websites

 

1. Harrison's Hope; a Missouri-based, national, non-profit organization dedicated to preventing injuries and deaths that occur due to children being left unattended in or around motor vehicles. Harrison's Hope has embarked on a mission to pursue preventative legislation in all 50 states to make sure that no child is ever, not even for a minute, left alone in or around a motor vehicle. For more information on Harrison's Hope, the Zero Seconds Program, go to www.harrisonshop.org.

    

2. The ChildMinder Alarm System; alarm sounds if child is left in car seat and parent walks more than 15 feet away from the vehicle. Get more information about this product at: http://www.babyalert.info/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=1&zenid=sqt8qmqicnofugqb8h1ta68ss3.
3. Safe Kids USA; this site has lots of great safety information, including information on staying safe in and around vehicles. Check it out at http://www.safekids.org/.

The Scoop

 

Be proactive, and do something that reminds you to check your child(ren)'s seat(s) when you exit your vehicle. If you see a child left in a vehicle, please alert authorities immediately. Try not to be so quick to judge. Try putting yourself in other's shoes. This may sound cliché, but it's true. Try practicing compassion and empathy. More than likely it was a slip of the memory, and it could happen to you. On Friday, I will post a bit of Motherly Advice. Over and out…

 

Anna

Comments

[Erin @ Letter Soup]

This is a great post! I just read this absolutely heartbreaking article the other day: http://tinyurl.com/azy6ey It's terrifying to think that so many parents have actually forgotten kids in the car. It seems like something that "normal" loving parents would never do, but apparently it's happening a lot.