Motherly Advice: Shoulda, Coulda and Woulda {Here’s to the I. Did Its}

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Shoulda. She had high hopes and great dreams of being the best actress in the world. After all, everyone agreed she had a face that was made for the movies, but she lacked something important to make her dreams come true.

Her friend, Coulda, also aspired to greatness, but her field was business. Coulda desired to be the highest paid, most admired CEO of the largest company in the wordl. She did have an advanced degree from an esteemed university and a great resume, but Coulda didn't have one of the key characteristics to obtain this high rank.

Coulda's cousin, Woulda, thought it would be nice to be a world-renown writer. She thought her name just begged to be on the jacket of the cover of a book, Woulda Butdident. She wrote her name over and over and imagined how it would feel to have fan after fan asking for her to sign their copies of her book. But after awhile that's about all she wrote.

Shoulda, Coulda and Woulda all had talent in their respective fields, but they languished in their dreams and gave up somewhere along the journey that would have taken them to the place where dreams come true. They got stuck and eventually took root there and labeled their aspirations as unreachable and tiresome. And that was the end of that.

For all the Shoulda, Coulda and Wouldas out there, there are just as many, if not more, I. Did Its! What makes the I. Did Its different from the Shoulda, Coulda and Wouldas? Three things: Ambition, Drive, Resilience. These three traits must work together to achieve dreams, aspirations and goals.

The I. Did Its have Ambition to do something; it could be anything, but it's generally pretty specific; and often has many branches that reach out along the journey.

The I. Did Its have the Drive make things happen; think outside the box; figure out solutions to problems; and keep revising their dream to make it work; to move the dream forward.

The I. Did Its have Resilience to keep going each time they get shot down, trampled on, crumpled up and tossed into the wastebasket because...they have Ambition and Drive.

It's a package deal. To succeed, you need these 3 components whether it's a tiny, personal goal insignificant to all others, a family dream or a huge, gonna-change-the-world kind of deal; you need Ambition, Drive and Resilience.

Yes, we've all heard the story of Sheer Luck. Sheer Luck did not have these traits and did nothing significant to help herself climb to the top of her profession, but somehow she did anyway. Of course, she always had everything she needed because her father made a fortune in oil and then she married a trust fund baby and she lived happily ever after in her Park Ave Penthouse.

But the Sheer Lucks in this world are few and far between; and often happily ever after is only skin deep. After all, looks can be deceiving.

With Ambition, Drive and Resilience, Shoulda's, Coulda's and Woulda's lives would have been very different. How are you living your life? When you're sitting in the rocking chair, mulling over the course of your life, who will you identify with Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda or I. Did It?

Sometimes it doesn't take very many years for I. Did It to do it. But Sometimes it takes years and years and years. And that's OK, because I. Did It won't ever stop working for that goal. Not ever.

Anna

Comments

[Marta]

I am definitely a shoulda. I don't know where I got lost... I think it was in the resilience. I'm too impatient of a person, I want instant gratification and that is my big stumbling block!

[Anna]

Well, life happens and often gets in the way of our dreams. I think it's a positive thing that you are so self-aware though! : )