Hanging By a Thread

5 Things You Should Know {About My Baby Turning 4}

Today {at precisely 2 p.m.} my baby is four years old. At his birth, our family became complete. He was born already enamored by the voice of his older brother; and it wasn't long before he was clamoring after him trying to do everything brother did; and it wasn't long after that Darling 2 was able to do just about everything that brother did. Even still, he often reminds me that he's my baby. Being the little brother isn't always easy, but sometimes it is.

On this much anticipated 4^th birthday, here are 5 things you should know about my sweet, sunny, determined, fit-throwing, charming, silly, belly-laughing, Wonder Woman loving boy:

1. Once the baby, always the baby. This past summer I heard an already turned 4 year-old friend say to my Little E, "We're big boys now." To which, my son, often mistaken for a kindergartener since he was barely 3 years old due to his stature, replied, "I'm NOT a big boy, I'm a little boy!" And he stands by this statement;
2. You don't mess with the beloved Big Brother when there's a taller and bigger and tougher than average Little Brother around. The brotherly bond is quite strong ...even when they're beating on each other, but especially if one is in danger;
3. Better than anyone, my Baby knows how to make up to the angry/frustrated/stressed out mom and melt her heart, unlike his older brother who digs in his heels and won't surrender his position. This is something my little brother always did well too...and still does. I'm the older sister who digs in her heels and refuses to concede the argument;
4. My baby loves to get into character whether it's a super hero, a pirate, a cowboy, a spy, a rocker, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle or any other character imaginable and stay in character; and
5. That blue-eyed, sandy-haired little boy is so charming and funny and determined that I will not be surprised to his that big ol' grin on the big screen some day, perhaps in a movie produced and directed by his older brother.

Happy Birthday to My Forever and Always Baby!

Anna

Curb Appeal: Sometimes Things in Life are Free

Free Stuff

"??Lamb Meat?? We have some lamb meat that we would like to give away, it has been in our deep freezer. There is nothing wrong with it, my family just don't eat it. We have Lamb roast, lamb stew meat, and a leg of lamb. Thanks for looking!"

    ~from a Craigslist posting under Free Stuff

Uh huh.....I don't know about you, but lamb meat from someone's freezer is NOT something I'd accept from a stranger, free or not.

But hold the phone; if you live in a city and you aren't checking this heading on your local Craigslist site before you head out the store, then you're selling yourself short.

At first, it was amusing to see what people were posting; the frozen lamb meat??, a sprinkler that kind of works, a couple of hens and some roosters, Depends adult diapers, but then I started really looking at the postings and for one whole weekend we monitored the "Free Stuff."

The Haul

Here's what we got....for free: a solid oak dining table, a slightly nicked and scratched Ethan Allen shelving unit, a three tiered wall shelf, a wicker chair {I'm a sucker for wicker}; art paper, crayons and chalk (for the kids), a 2 drawer file cabinet and a small shelving unit for closet organization, or office supplies, in my case, and big camping tent.

There were some cool things we weren't quick enough on the draw to get too. And there were things we just didn't need, but that would have been fabulous in someone's home.

Often all these items need are a good scrubbing and perhaps a coat of paint or varnish and sometimes, they are in perfect condition; like the dining table we got.

The Ethan Allen piece can be seen in the photo above. I cleaned it, filled in a few scratches with wood fill and then painted it yellow. I pulled together an ensemble of items from various rooms in our home to make this inviting area in our bedroom, without spending anything.

Before we got this round dining table, we had always had a rectangle table. This table is much smaller than our old one, but the change in shape seems to have changed our meal time atmosphere. For some reason, this smaller, round table is creating more unity and better conversations to our mealtime and work/homework time in the evenings.

I haven't found a place for my wicker chair or wall shelf yet, but I will. And I'll be watching the Free Stuff listings too. I may never buy another piece of wood furniture again.

Items to Skip Over

There are items I would avoid, besides the frozen lamb meat. I would never get a mattress/box springs, linens or luggage from Craigslist. I would be concerned about bed bugs, etc. Unless, you know how to re-upholster, I wouldn't choose the free couches and chairs, etc. either, but there could be some exceptions. I would steer clear of any food listings, formula listings or anything with an expiration date. And one should NEVER pick up for free (or buy) a used car seat or car seat base for safety reasons.

The Scoop

The thing about Craigslist is that you just never know what you're going to find. So, check it out, have fun, be creative and use your head when it comes to what you get and where you go to get it, but don't think about it for too long, because if it's fantastic and free, it won't be on the curb for long. Over and out...

Anna

Communicating with the Dead: Smoke and Mirrors or the Real Deal?

Do You Believe in Mediums?

What if some people can communicate with spirits from beyond? What if spirits have consoling, touching, sometimes funny messages for us? What if mediums are real?

If you believed this, would you go see a medium? Would you reach out to a loved one; would you try to "hear" the words of your beloved one more time?

Last week, while traveling, I found myself in an exhausted stupor, in my hotel room, flipping channels, trying to find something I wanted to watch since I had the chance. We don't have cable, and I rarely watch TV because I am usually working on my computer during the evening hours.

I landed on TLC and was drawn into the Long Island Medium. I didn't know what to expect, but what I found was comforting and sometimes funny. I found myself believing that Theresa Caputo was truly delivering messages from spirits to their loved ones. To my surprise, tears streamed down my face, just as they did the intended recipients of these messages.

But, do I believe there are no smoke and mirror tricks involved? I'm not so sure. And yet, I want to believe and I do believe that some people can "feel" and "communicate" with souls; I know some who do.

Reaching Out

Who hasn't felt that overwhelming sense of loss from time to time for no apparent reason or been flooded with memories of a deceased loved one at random times or experienced that tingly feeling that they are nearby or dreamed a dream so real, so vivid that when you awake, you're sure you had been talking with that loved one, not simply dreaming. I certainly have.

And what's the harm in believing that Theresa, the Long Island Medium, is legit? She allows the families to feel peace and contentment, resolves questions, and melts away guilt. The people who encounter her by choice or by coincidence go on their ways with lighter hearts, happy tears and a connection to their loved ones' spirits.

The Scoop

Sometimes that's all it takes to move on, to let go and to live life fully again. And for that, I say, it's worth it, whether real or imagined. For now, I'll be watching {when I can} and wondering whether Theresa is the real deal or a great fake. Over and out....

Anna

Vote Smart: Get the 411 Before You Go to the Polls

Campaign Season

Vote No; Vote Yes; Vote this; Vote that. It can get confusing with all the yard signs, Facebook posts and ads online and on TV and radio. To me, the most important thing is that people do vote, regardless of how they vote.

At this time of year, everyone complains about some particular candidate or a whole party's views; and everyone becomes a political expert full of world-changing opinions, but they do vote and where are they getting their information?

Voter ID

There are those who complain and rant and say how they would do it, but aren't even registered to vote and don't intend to ever set foot in a voting booth. To those people, I say that every vote can make a difference, but if they refuse to vote, then hold your tongues because you don't get an opinion involving candidates, policies or parties.

To those who do vote and do it quietly without sounding great bugles announcing who and why and wherefore, I admire you; for politics is a personal business, in my opinion. Now, that isn't to say that these people can't firmly stand up for what they believe is right by volunteering to aid a candidate's campaign or taking a firm position if asked about a particular issue or candidate. These people do these things, but not with great fanfare.

Then, there are those who must tell every friend on Facebook, every neighbor, co-worker, family member and even strangers their strong political beliefs. These people often push their views on others and seem to want to offend others in order to start a debate; the more public the better for these people. Generally, it's these people that need a stage for every aspect of life though, not just during the politically charged months of the year. These people I don't understand, and I try to avoid them at all costs. But they do vote, and for that, I respect them.

Hitting Home with the Voter

Sometimes, politics hits home and can affect families. For instance, many voters across the country will consider measures that deal with the definition of marriage, school referendums, taxes, etc .

Yesterday, I got an email from a group that supports the Minnesota Zoo, encouraging its members to be sure to ask their candidates if they support the Zoo, considering that a very small, but vital part of their budget comes from the state's budget. I have never considered the Zoo when I vote, but I will this year thanks to the email.

Voter Education

So, if you are going to vote, and I sincerely hope you do vote, then you do need to be sure you understand the issues and what each of your candidates stand for in this race; one way or another the winner of these races will impact your life.

For unbiased, unabashed candidate info go to Project Vote Smart. This non-profit, non-partisan organization gives you the information you need about each candidate and ballot measure in your voting precinct.

If your head is spinning from all the speeches, debates and ads, and you just want the facts, please, then go to FactCheck.org. This non-profit group is busy fact-checking and debunking ads, speeches, quotes, articles, etc. so that you can sleep easy and be clear about the issues and the candidates spinning them before you vote.

And if you just need to know exactly how your candidates stand on the issues and will most likely vote while in office/support as a local/state/federal official, then check On the Issues. Here you will find very succinct listings of where your guy or gal sits on a long list of important issues.

The Scoop

During the next month or so, there will be no escaping politics. It has invaded yards, voicemails, radio, TV, billboards, magazines, newspapers and stores...even children's stores. This photo was taken in a Toys R Us. You can try to maneuver the claw to grab and win a Mitt Romney doll or Barack Obama pillow head. I bet all the kids try for those over the veggie heads, angry birds and teddy bears. Over and out...

Anna

Time for Myself {at the Airport?}

I finally got a whole day of quiet solitude with no expectations, no obligations and lots of time; me time. I took time to think, listen to music, peruse the book stores and shops, linger over a meal while reading a magazine, write, walk, people watch and barely talk to anyone. I did all this at the DFW airport. I'm not being facetious; I really did have a great day.

I was in the DFW area in the last week visiting my grandma, friends and family and working. I was supposed to turn in my rental car at 1 p.m. and get on my plane at 3:35 p.m. and be home by 6 p.m. But once I had my car turned in and I checked the board for departures, I realized my day was going to very different than planned; my flight had been cancelled.

Fortunately, I had been rebooked....on the 8:45 p.m. flight....that actually was delayed and took off at 9:15 p.m. So, that left me about 7.5 hours to hang out at the airport. Now, if you've ever been to the DFW airport {and I have many, many times}, you know that there are a multitude of shops, newsstands and restaurants in this sprawling city-sized airport, which left me plenty to do.

I had to go from the end of Terminal A to the opposite end of Terminal C. The lady behind the counter assured me I had plenty of time, I could just walk it. And I did...several times, sometimes slowly, sometimes at a faster pace.

I spent long periods of time in the several book shops reading the inside flap of the jackets on new books, making mental notes of books I should read someday and those I should avoid in book or movie form. I can't tell you the last time I did that, without kids pulling on my arm, running to find the children's books, distracting my attention from the books I wished to read.

I checked out every meal option from C1 to C30 before choosing. Then, I chose a sit-down restaurant, something I never do in an airport and slowly ate my burger and fries, enjoying each bite as people around me conducted business on the phone and quickly downed their meals, bustling in and out. I rarely linger over meals since my kids have been born and in the last few lean years, date nights have been far and few between.

I bought a magazine and read every single page. Generally, I read only in the wee hours between work and falling asleep, reading until the book or magazine slides from my grasp and my drooping eyelids finally close.

I found an outlet next to a row of empty chairs on a quiet passageway and charged my phone and computer while I listened to my Pandora radio stations on my phone and pounded out an article on my computer.

I watched the people, some wearing coats, others in casual sweats or shorts and some in suits and dresses; elderly, middle age, youngsters, professional, on vacation, students, military, experienced travelers and inexperienced, on their phones, on their Bluetooths, with the kids, with dogs, with old duffle bags, with designer bags, hard cases, overstuffed roller bags, running, strolling, tired, excited, and I wondered where they had been, where they were going and what each of their stories told.

And minute by minute, gradually, my quiet, solitary day at the airport came to a close, and I boarded at 9:05 p.m., arriving home {and back to reality} at 11:20 p.m.

I don't always make lemonade out of lemons; I fret, I complain and get antsy, but I do enjoy time {alone} in an airport. And that's exactly what I needed yesterday... a day to myself. Over and out...

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {Writing an Obituary}

I have always skimmed the obituaries in newspapers, and honestly most leave a lot to be desired, in my opinion. Rarely do I feel sorrow for the family or really any emotion at all when reading the mostly stale recitation of dates, locations and names.

I'm also an avid reader of The Week. Each week there are 2 to 3 obituaries of notable people in the back of the volume. While those people are prominent in some aspect and often of celebrity status, the write-up always includes little known facts or tales and a few well placed quotes. Regardless of what I thought of the person in life, I have found that these obituaries give me a new perspective and appreciation for the person.

Oddly enough, in the past, I've had a subscription to Alaska magazine {it's a long story.} And I did enjoy reading the articles for multiple reasons, but one of the best parts of this publication was the obituaries. These pieces were on life-long, or at least close to it, AK residents, but they were not necessarily widely known or particularly extraordinary individuals. And yet, the details and stories of these people made me wish I had known these men and women for the sense of adventure, bravery, pioneering ways, sense of human, etc. Now that's a sign of a great obituary.

Here are 5 Things You Should Know about Writing an Obituary:

An obituary:

1. Should tell a lively and interesting story of the person's life, complete with anecdotes, both touching and funny, trivial and significant;
2. Should Not just provide the statistics of born, schooled, worked, and is survived by;
3. Should make every person's life seem remarkable, because every person's life is remarkable to those who loved this person and presented well can be remarkable even to those who didn't know the person;
4. Should be written by someone who knew the individual well and deeply loved the person who is no longer on earth; and
5. Should make anyone who reads the writing mourn the loss of this person, regardless of whether the reader knew the deceased.

Who's going to write yours? Over and out...

Anna

 

The Final Act: Custom Made Funerals

Loss

When you lose someone you love are there ever any words anyone can ever say that make you feel better? I don't think so. I think it's just something you have to work out in your own head and heart.

This is one instance when I'm at a loss for words. I feel awkward and inadequate when it comes to saying the "right thing" to someone mourning the death of a loved one.

When a person has been suffering or has lived a long, good life; the loss is bittersweet. There is pain and sadness knowing that you won't be seeing, talking with, living life with this special person for the rest of your life, but there is also a peace of mind, a relief that the person you love is no longer hurting.

For me, that pain trumps the peace for the first few days after the death of a loved one and nothing anyone says to me changes how I feel or how I see things.

This past weekend, my sister-in-law lost her mom to a vicious, hard-fought battle with cancer. There are no words for me to say to her. My heart weeps for her; the pain of losing one's mother is too great to be soothed by words. But even through her own pain and loss, my steadfast, faithful, unselfish sister-in-law is grateful that her mother has now been made whole again and is no longer in pain.

I've written much about death since August of 2011. Our family has experienced a lot of loss this past year. And while I've written about wills and trusts, estate planning, digital legacies and more over the years, I have not discussed funeral planning.

Making Your Wishes Known

I started thinking more about end-of-life provisions after a conversation with a friend. She was telling me how thankful she is that her dad has taken care of all of his funeral provisions and estate planning and took the time to discuss it with her. When the time comes, she and her siblings won't have to worry about figuring out the final arrangements while dealing with their grief and loss.

So, I did a little research, and what I found warmed the heart of this control freak.

I found a way to reach out beyond the hereafter and dictate my last plans; a website that allows me to dictate just about every detail of what happens with my remains and lets me set out exactly what I want said, sung, played, read and done at the service, celebration or memorial of my choosing. I can even write my obituary and upload photos I want my family to use at the service, with the obit, etc. and design my own headstone, if so desired.

My Wonderful Life allows a person to leave letters to loved ones to be received after the person is deceased; list and explain bequeaths; make notes about where important information is located, etc. A person can designate 1 to 6 "angels" to be the "administrators" of the person's "Book" once the person is gone.

The site is password protected and secured with SSL (Secured Sockets Layer) and personal information is encrypted in their database. The information can be accessed by the person with the account at any time to add or change information or the designated angels, upon the death of the account holder.

I love this idea. My Wonderful Life gives each person a chance to express feelings regarding family, death and funerals, etc. without having to discuss this often uncomfortable subject with family and/or friends. Whether someone is 29, 86, 47 or 66, completely healthy, very ill or simply getting on in years, this site allows a person to express thoughts and feelings about death, dying and after death and set out his or her affairs.

The Scoop

Now, to be clear, this site is not meant to replace wills or other legal documents or meeting with an attorney to be sure your affairs are in order, in the legal sense. This website simply allows for more articulation of preferences and feelings and explanations, if needed.

The idea for this website was born from the death of the co-founder's spouse and the need for people to have a place to make these decisions about seemingly mundane aspects of death and the services that followed in addition to leaving notes about various items, relationships, legacies, etc.

So, if you're like my parents who have very definite ideas about how they would like their untraditional send offs to go, this just might be the place for you. Of course, talking to your family members about your wishes, even if you use this website, is still a good idea. Check it out for yourself; it's free to register: www.mywonderfullife.com. Over and out...

Anna

New School Year: A Prayer

For the Teachers, Lord, Grant them Patience, Understanding and Enthusiasm.

For the Students, Lord, Grant them Confidence, Open Minds and Good Friends.

For the Parents, Lord, Grant them Peace, Assurance and Time.

In Your Name we Pray,

Amen.

Anna