I once had a conversation with a group of friends about friendships. I remember that one mentioned a concept she had heard in a college course many years before; it was a concept of friendships that served a purpose in your life, but when that purpose was no longer necessary, the friendship faded away.
I knew what she meant. I have had this happen over and over throughout my life, with exception to a few groups of friends, but I hated it. I hated the idea of close friendships fading with time and purpose.
And it's happened again. I hate that I don't see or have much contact with many of my friends. Friends who were dear, close friends when my first-born was just a tiny tot. Friends who also had first-born babies when we began our friendship.
We were thick as thieves for the first 4 years of our kids' lives. We got together with kids; without kids; randomly and planned.
We knew each other's routines, spouses and challenges. We celebrated victories and mourned losses. We were close; we really knew each other.
Yet, these deep bonds lasted only a season of our lives. Some moved to other suburbs; some went back to work or found new careers; everyone enrolled their kids in different preschools. We started to become distant.
We tried to continue getting together; just the moms. Our kids no longer knew each other when we did see someone from the group. Our "dates" got further and further apart.
But eventually life got the better of us. We were all busy. We all had different schedules and challenges and branched off in different directions.
And while I know that's just life, it makes me sad. I'm sad to have lost so many wonderful friendships with supportive, funny, smart, interesting, talented women.
But I know I must be content with running into them on occasion at a restaurant or a museum or seeing a few posts on Facebook here and there. Our season of friendship has passed, and it's a loss I mourn.
And yet, I feel so blessed to have had them with me during those first months and years of motherhood. I definitely would have struggled without them. The adventure of burgeoning motherhood would not have been so much fun if I had been alone. I will forever hold them in a special place in my heart. Over and out…