Motherly Law

Rudolph The Rich Reindeer: A Quite Different & Slightly Legal Version of Rudy the Red-Nosed Reindeer

You Only Think You Know This Story

You may be familiar with the story of a little reindeer named Rudolph who happened to be born with a birth defect. His nose, instead of being black like other reindeer, was big and red and even glowed like a light bulb.

His red nose didn't bother him or hinder him in any way. Rudy grew and developed just like any other little reindeer, but then one day he went to play with the others. Well, you can imagine how the young reindeer girls and boys teased Rudy about his nose. They had never seen such a nose before and they treated him as an outcast.

Reindeer Have Feelings Too

Well, actually it was even worse than making him feel like an outcast. They didn't ever leave him alone. They made jokes about him; they taunted him; they butted him with their little antlers; and they called him names. They were ruthless in the way they bullied poor Rudy. The other cruel reindeer basically cut him off from all reindeer contact; completely isolating him from society.

His father, Donner, was one of Santa's top reindeer. He didn't understand his son with the red nose and didn't think much of the teasing. Donner, a big, strong jock buck, simply told his son to "buck up" and butt back, which really wasn't very supportive.

Rudy ended up quite depressed. He wouldn't eat; he had trouble sleeping; he felt hopeless; and he refused to go to school or out to play with the other young reindeer. Instead, he spent all of his time in his room listening to Britney Spears' Blackout album over and over, which just made him feel worse about his troubles. He sat on his bed with his lights off and his red nose lighting the room.

Santa owned all of the reindeer and he was aware of Rudy's red nose and the physical and mental bullying that went on. In all his years of reindeer ownership he had never seen such a nose. He considered him to be a weak link, an embarrassment and just didn't care how he was treated. In fact, he himself, that right jolly old elf, even gave a hearty "ho, ho, ho" over some of the cruel jokes and nicknames for Rudy, which Rudy heard. Having Santa against him was the last nail in the coffin.

The Lawsuit

Rudy decided to consult with the outcast elf, Hermey, who originally wanted to be a dentist, but after realizing that you have to stick your hands in other elves' mouths, decided to become an attorney and represent the down trodden and outcast characters in the World of Fiction. Hermey decided that Rudy had a good case for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress.

While this cause of action is typically quite difficult to prove, Hermey felt that with the specific instances of ridicule and Rudy's doctor certified bouts of depression, Rudy had a good case. Hermey had to show:

1. Santa and his reindeer, hereinafter referred to as Defendants, acted intentional or recklessly; and
2. Defendants' conduct was extreme and outrageous; and
3. Defendants' actions were the cause of the distress; and
4. Rudolph T. Reindeer, hereinafter referred to as Plaintiff, suffers severe emotional distress as a result of Defendants' conduct.

Hermey was a very good attorney with a very convincing argument, and Rudy won the lawsuit.

Part of the damages awarded to Rudy included the right of first refusal to lead Santa's team of reindeer on foggy Christmas Eves as long as he is able. Additional damages included having a Christmas song, children's story and movie written about Rudy's plight as an outcast reindeer due to his uniqueness. The movie must be played on every television channel at least once during the Christmas holiday season for eternity. Of course, Santa had to pay 3.4 million dollars in damages, as well.

The Scoop

So, what happened to poor Rudy? Why he went down in history as the first {but not the last} reindeer to sue Santa and win. But the newly wealthy Rudy didn't let it all go to his nose....er, um, I mean head. No, he became an advocate for all special needs and bullied cartoon and book characters.

Rudy went on to work the speaker's circuit, charging half a million to speak. He became the wealthiest, best known reindeer ever. And Hermey....why, he never wanted for clients again. He became the Gloria Allred of fictional characters. And they all lived happily ever after....except for Santa, perhaps. Over and out...

Anna

The Million Dollar Question: Pop Culture Clues

What makes an idea or an article novel or appealing? What makes a reader choose to click a link? What makes a message amazing, eye-opening or viral? What makes an online writer stand out from the hundreds and thousands of others just alike floating around, bumping into each other out in cyberspace? That is the million dollar question, isn't it?

I'm working on figuring this out. And when I do have the answer, I'll let you know. I know this much; the answer has just as much to do with what will not put you in reach of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow as it does with what you should be doing to earn the gold star.

Here's what I know thus far:

1. There is no instant formula for fame and fortune in writing;
2. The more you write, the more you hear your own, true voice; and
3. The more you understand your readers, the more you know how to temper what readers want to read with what you want to write.

So, with these truisms in mind, I have a few fun questions for you, Dear Reader:

This survey is anonymous, and I would be so incredibly grateful to you if you would take just a few minutes of your time to answer the questions. The questions are completely random and whatever jumped into my head as I typed. While this is true, I do think these questions will give me great insight into how to choose topics and how my readers will perceive certain issues, etc. And I promise you know all the answers to this survey!

Thanks so much in advance for helping me get closer to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, so to speak. Over and out...

Anna

Minding Your Ps and Qs: Most Important Manners for Kids to Learn

Tiffany's Table Manners

When I was 11 my Grandma gave me Tiffany's Table Manners for Teen-agers. Yes, that Tiffany's. It was written by Walter Hoving, the head honcho of Tiffany and Company from 1955 to 1980.

The dining scenarios in this book, written in 1961 and given to me in 1985, were then and are now far above my social status in life. And yet, I still have this small, unassuming black and white book 26 years later.

From time to time, I look through it reminding myself of the basic table manners and chuckle at some of the absurd scenarios discussed. It was the only book on etiquette I ever owned until I received Ava Carroll-Brown's book, Where Is Your Mother? for review purposes.

Clearly, I do not live by the Bible of Emily Post or Miss Manners. I do try to instill basic respect, dignity, compassion and gratitude in my Darling Boys. I think these things are important.

I do agree with Ms. Carroll-Brown that etiquette is knowledge and knowledge is power. And this was my Grandma's intention in giving me this book as I entered those precarious pre-teen years. If I knew how to tackle social situations then I would be well-equipped to handle whatever came my way.

Etiquette Poll

I ran an impromptu poll last night on Facebook and Twitter asking "What's the most important rule of etiquette in your household?" A number of people responded, but the answers were very similar:

1. Please and thank you;
2. Respect others; and
3. Limit bodily noises to the bathroom.

All basic; all important to remember no matter who we are, how old we are or where we are.

Manner Musts

I recently ran across an article from Parents that I had ripped out of the March 2011 magazine entitled 25 Manners Every Kid Needs By Age 9. I won't recite the whole list, but here are a few of my favorites:

1. Don't interrupt grown-ups who are talking to each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished.
2. When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.
3. When you have spent time at your friends' house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had. {but not in the creepy Eddie Haskell way – just my two cents worth}
4. Keep a napkin in your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.
5. Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak and ganging up on someone is cruel.
6. Knock on closed doors and wait to see if there is a response before entering.
7. Never use foul language in front of adults. They already know all of those words and find them dull and unpleasant.
8. Always say "thank you" for a gift. In the age of email, a handwritten thank you note may have a powerful effect.
9. When someone helps you say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers.
10. As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.

Source: Parents.com/manners-list

These are basic and all things we as adults know, but don't take it for granted that your kids know it too. You must take the time to teach these basic manners. And I speak not only to you, my dear readers, when I say this, but also to myself.

Time is always of the essence these days. Our schedules are packed with things we have to do, and we scarcely have time to sit down at the dinner table together. So, be a good example and do these things yourself and use any teachable moments you have to encourage your child to act and respond accordingly.

Don't forget to enter to win Where Is Your Mother? by Ava Carroll-Brown. Just click on the link to yesterday's post mentioned above and leave a comment there. Over and out...

Anna

 

Where is Your Mother? A Review, an Interview and a Giveaway

Shoes: to Remove or Not to Remove?

Eleven years ago Will and I moved from the South to the Midwest. Our first year in Iowa we weren't able to go home for Christmas. Some new friends who were also staying in town for Christmas kindly invited all the poor souls who were spending the holidays "alone" to come over on the afternoon of Christmas Day for food, games and fellowship.

We had lived there only since July and had not been invited over to anyone's home yet. As we arrived, we were surprised to see a pile of shoes just inside the door. As guests arrived, they were shedding their shoes before further entering the home. We followed suit and did the same. Later, on the way home, I remarked to Will that I was glad I had put on new socks that morning. Will, who is notorious for have holes in his socks, told me that he had quickly flipped his socks around so that the holes were on the soles of his feet and hidden from the others. Oops.

Basic Etiquette; Variations by Regions

We weren't sure what to make of this practice. Was it simply our host's preference? Was it a regional rule? Was it rude to leave your shoes on? As we made friends and invited them over to our home and they invited us to theirs, we quickly discovered it was indeed a regional etiquette rule and the norm in that area.

The same holds true for Minnesota. We are quite used to this "rule" now and even practice it in our own home. My Darling Minnesota Boys immediately slip off their shoes upon arriving home or at a friend's home to play and even when visiting grandparents in Texas. We now always make sure our socks are clean and without holes or bare feet well-manicured before heading to someone's home.

In Texas, our home state, this is unheard of. In fact, it drives my in-laws nuts, both that we would like them to remove their shoes in our home and that there is a pile of shoes next to their back door when we are visiting.

While some rules of etiquette ring true for everyone, everywhere such as the three magic words of please, thank you and excuse me, there are a number of regional, cultural and religious rules that we may not know about until stumbling into a situation where it's being practiced and you're expected to understand it and follow it too. Other more universal manners include basic table etiquette, polite introductions and common courtesies.

Where Is Your Mother?

Earlier this week, I had the pleasure to talk to Ava Carroll-Brown, etiquette expert and author of the new book, "Where Is Your Mother?" This book is a basic guide to etiquette. It's not intimidating or confusing as some of the huge volumes of manners can be. This is a slim book that runs the gamut from essential table manners to stationery to cell phones to gifting issues.

I asked Ms. Carroll-Brown how she defines etiquette. Her response is that proper etiquette is a combination of simple grace and common sense. Ms. Carroll-Brown reminds us that etiquette is about thinking of the feelings of others. Based on our conversation, having good manners means that you are prepared about what to do or say or how to react or respond or behave in any situation. Being prepared for each situation will put both you and others you interact with at ease.

It's Ms. Carroll-Brown's opinion that having good etiquette is having power; a power of knowledge that sets us free; gives us confidence and polishes our appearance. She wrote this book with the intention that anyone, in any phase of life, could pick up her book of manners and look up the information that he or she needs or sit and read it cover to cover in order to be completely prepared. I found this to be the case after I received my copy of the book.* I repeatedly picked it up and flipped through it with no specific purpose. Each time I found some gem of information regarding how to reach out and be of help to a friend grieving a loss, a guide to tipping, reminders of simple table manners to teach my kids, etc.

Ms. Carroll-Brown's tone in print and over the phone is never threatening or condescending. She truly believes the world would be a better place if we all minded our manners and thought about how to treat others and considered their feelings.

Etiquette Pet Peeves

I talked with Ms. Carroll-Brown about her top three etiquette pet peeves Here's what she said,

1. Table Manners; she feels that table manner are very important and she spends a great deal of time on this topic in the book;
2. Silence; Ms. Carroll–Brown says that silence can be as rude as non-stop talking or interrupting conversations. Engage in conversation; excuse yourself from the table or a conversation, rather than just walking away without a word; and
3. Stationery Errors; there is no excuse for making errors on invitations, failing to reply to an invitation or neglecting to write thank you notes.

Etiquette Musts for Parents

I also asked Ms. Carroll-Brown what she thinks are the top five manners that parents must teach their children:

1. Basic Table Manners: sit down and eat, stay in your space, napkin in lap, chew with mouth closed, no talking with mouth full;
2. Use Flatware: This is an easy task to teach early on, rather than letting your kids use their hands;
3. The Three Magic Words: Please, Thank you and Excuse me
4. Write Thank You Notes: It's considerate of the gift-giver. Have a younger child draw a picture, purchase the fill-in-the-blanks cards for children who can write, let you child dictate a note to you.
5. Think of Others: Teach your kids to be inclusive of others in a group or at the park, take responsibility for your own actions and share with others.

Ms. Carroll-Brown has raised her own children and now has grandchildren. She noted that her brood is well-mannered, but not perfect and that the key to teaching this basic etiquette is little reminders and gentle lessons.

The Scoop

You will note that these are not ground-breaking new rules. These are simple graces, basic manners, common sense and common courtesies, as the subtitle of the book and the author stresses. For the most part, we know these things, but we are busy; we neglect to teach our kids these things; and our society moves on a little less thoughtful, a little less courteous and little by little we become completely self-absorbed and oblivious to anyone or anything around us.

So, take a few minutes at the dinner table to talk about staying in your own space or staying seated during the meal or how to excuse yourself from the table; or after receiving a gift talk about the giver of the gift and how thoughtful it was to send the gift, regardless of what the gift is, etc. There are numerous everyday scenarios that can be used to teach these "rules" in an enjoyable way.

Giveaway

Ms. Carroll-Brown has been so kind as to provide a copy of Where Is Your Mother? to be given away here on Motherly Law. If you are not versed in every line of Emily Post, but would like to have a basic understanding of etiquette and simple grace for your purposes and for teaching your kids, then you're going to want to enter this giveaway.

Here's what you need to know:

• I will use random.org to "draw" the winner on Thursday at 10 p.m. CST.
• To enter, you may:
  • leave a comment below;
  • "Like" me on Facebook (Motherly Law or click Facebook icon above);
  • Follow me on Twitter (@MotherlyLaw or click Twitter icon above);
  • Share this post;
  • Subscribe to Motherly Law's RSS feed (click RSS icon above);
  • Follow Ms. Carroll-Brown on Twitter (@AvaCarrollBrown); and
  • Subscribe to Ms. Carroll-Brown's blog: http://wiym.tumblr.com/

Leave a comment for EACH entry telling me what you did. So, if you do all of these things for a chance to win, you will have 7 comments. If you are interested in purchasing this book or reading more about it, you can find it here on Amazon. Good luck! Over and out...

Anna

*I must disclose that I did receive this book free of charge for review purposes. However, the opinion and review of the book are my own.

Motherly Advice: Babies No More

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living

my baby you'll be.

~ Love You Forever, the "never-fails-to-produce-tears" children's book by Robert Munsch

I asked my Darling Boys, "Who's my baby?" and then specifically to my not-quite 3 Darling 2, "Are you my baby?" His reply, "No, usses are boys!"

And just like that I officially have no more babies. Not so long ago, Darling 2 would have answered, "Yes, Mama, Me Your Baby." And now, he is a boy. Admittedly, it's been a while since my over 3 and half foot tall, 40 pound 2 year-old resembled anything close to a baby, but in my mind, they will both always be my babies.

This week is our last full week of summer and life as we have known it for the last 5 years is changing as we get ready to embark on the next giant step of childhood with Darling 1 starting Kindergarten.

As any well-meaning person with older children will tell you, it all goes so fast; so, enjoy all the moments. Yes, yes, I know, but quite frankly, there are some moments I don't want to linger over. And more than likely if they stopped to think about it they would remember how much they hated to be told this by strangers as they struggled with their kids to "just straighten up and focus on the task at hand", etc.

OK, maybe I'm projecting my thoughts and feelings about this matter onto my hypothetical, older stranger; and it's true, it does go by so fast and for some parts I'm grateful that it does.

I've never been one to lament the growing up, the maturing, and the reaching of new milestones. I enjoy seeing what comes next. I look forward to the new experiences and adventures. I like moving forward.

That isn't to say that I don't occasionally look back over the years and think about when my Darling 1 was a tiny peanut weighing less than 7 pounds and mommyhood was brand spanking new; recall how proud Darling 2 was when at 6 months he began to pull up at the train table and cruise around it while "playing" with his big brother; or remember the matter-of-fact moment that 26 month old Darling 1 first saw Darling 2 at the hospital, saying, "Is that our Baby?" and simply answering, "OK." when I affirmed it was indeed "our baby."These are all sweet memories burned into my brain, and I will continue to gather and store such moments.

They will always be my babies no matter how old they are, and I hope and pray they will always know that. I don't mean I will "baby" them, but that they will always mean the world to me; their needs will always be a priority to me; their voices will be able to reach me from any corner of the earth at any time; and I will stand behind them at all times, even if the world turns its back on them. To me, that's what it means to be a mother. That is what my mother has been to me.

It's Saturday…. Go eat some chocolate {this actually applies to everyday}. It's good for you, and you deserve it!

Anna

Nota Bene: I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all parents and kids are not created equally, but are wholly individual in personality and style. Regardless of these differences, the basic needs of love, patience and support remain constant. Here are the weekly affirmations, tips and reminders. Unless otherwise noted, these are entirely my opinion. Take them with a grain of salt, or not!

Sound Bites: Notes from the Keynotes

So, I lied. I have one more Blissdom-related post.

Nuggets of Wisdom

As I was going back over my notes from the keynote speakers I was reminded by all of the nuggets of inspiration and wisdom bestowed upon those of us "Following Our Bliss," and I wanted to share them with you.

Choose Discomfort Over Resentment ~ Brené Brown {Don't agree to do something just because you think you should, but know you will later resent the fact that you agreed to do it}

    People Spread Awesome! ~ Scott Stratten

                     Ask For What You Need. ~ Brené Brown

    Only 1 to 3% of Readers Leave Comments. ~ Scott Stratten

                Our Stories Matter Because We Matter ~ Brené Brown

Relationships Take Time to Build; Whether Online or In Person ~ Scott Stratten

Owning Our Stories & Loving Ourselves Through That Process is the Bravest Thing We Will Ever Do. ~Brené Brown

                Post Only When You Have Something to Say. ~ Scott Stratten

The Key to Living and Loving Wholeheartedly is Allowing Ourselves to be Vulnerable. ~ Brené Brown

Marketing is All About Connecting with People; Not Pitching What Your Selling. ~Scott Stratten

The Scoop

If you are curious about what else these perceptive thinkers, writers and speakers have to say I suggest you buy their books. While I have yet to open Brené's book, The Gifts of Imperfection, I can't wait to delve into it and my own thoughts and feelings. I recently saw a tweet from someone saying she wanted to start reading Brené's book, but was also scared of what she would find out about herself when she did. I did not realize it until I read this tweet that I was feeling the same way. And it all comes down to vulnerability....

I did not buy Scott's book, UnMarketing, but I've been thinking about the concept of "unmarketing" so much that I think I better get it and read it too. Unmarketing is all about connecting with people and building relationships with people who in turn do business with you because they have a relationship with you. There are so many customer service instances that beg for some "unmarketing." It's all really very simple, but for some reason most people just don't get it.

Is this awesome enough to post? What do you think? What's your favorite sound bite? While both Scott and Brené are truly funny and great speakers, their messages are quite different. Yet both authors offer much perspicacity whether you're an online writer or not. Over and out...

Anna

Introducing a Few of My New Friends: Blog List

New Friends

Last week, while attending Blissdom* in Nashville, I tried to approach each person there like my Darling Boys do at preschool. At their school, and I think most preschools, each child is considered and called "a friend" even when that friend "has made some bad choices" and not been very friendly to his or her classroom friends. So, I attempted to think of each person I met or came in contact with as a friend. And, indeed, after talking with a new "friend" for a few minutes that is often how I felt.

It's amazing how quickly people can connect through social media platforms just because they have similar backgrounds, experiences or interests despite geographical distances. Although it's actually easier to strike up a conversation with a stranger on Twitter than in real life, I talked with many ladies at Blissdom, connecting with a number of them; and came home with a fistful of business cards and a gaggle of new friends. These are friends I will continue to build a relationship with now that I am back at home thanks to Facebook, Twitter and our blogs.

I mentioned {& linked} to the ladies that were so kind to chat with me, hang out with me, laugh with me and cry with me at the Opryland Hotel in an earlier post, but I also wanted to introduce you to a few more blogs that I am getting to know better myself and a couple that I have been reading and knowing for a while.

Blog List

Without further adieu, here's the list of RANDOMLY DRAWN** blogs from my pile of business cards:

1. I'm Domestic...Not Dead! This blog is authored by my new friend, Alethea. Alethea is sweet, funny and welcoming in person and this shines through in her writing as well. Alethea's kids are in elementary school and this "professional housewife" is full of ideas about what to do with her time now and is intrigued by all the opportunities to work from home. Check it out...I'm telling you, I liked her from the "git-go." {It turns out people from Nashville sound just like people from my home state of Texas & its people are just as friendly as Texans too! I love these people! It feels like we have known each other for years. That's how it works in the South!}

    

2. babypop designs. Sherry, of babypop designs, makes great kid superhero capes, masks, costumes, etc. I love these products, and I will be ordering some superhero apparel from her. I met Sherry on the first night and briefly spoke with her, but that's OK; we follow each other on Twitter. I bet you will love these bright satin costumes as much as I do.

    

3. Raising CEO Kids. Sarah's site has a unique perspective. Her goal is to provide parents and kids with the tools to make dreams and ideas a reality by educating, empowering and encouraging parents to RAISE smart, savvy, successful and confident CEO KIDS. I plan to get to know Sarah more, but I could immediately tell she was kind, interested and personable...and Sarah has great lipstick! I know you're curious about Raising CEO Kids; go find out more.

    

4. Good Enought Is the New Perfect. This blog is authored by Hollee and Becky. I met Hollee and have been corresponding with her for the last several months via Twitter. Hollee is a research attorney too. Hollee and Becky are both well-educated, professionals, moms and wives just trying to "find happiness and success in modern motherhood." Their book by the same name as their blog will be coming out in April. I, for one, can't wait to get a copy. I had a chance to talk with Hollee while in Nashville and it sounds like this is a book that any mom who struggles with the guilt of motherhood and career and striking a balance between these two constants will want to get her hands on. You will be hearing more from me about this topic and Hollee's and Becky's book, but in the mean time go over to their site and take a look around.

    

5. Food For My Family. Shaina, mom of 4, wife, foodie, writer and photographer, actually lives in the Twin Cities. In fact, I had met Shaina in real life back in August at Love Feast Table's Blog Love party, but had never really talked to her. My friend, Gussy {from Gussy Sews}, and I sat with Shaina on the plane ride home from Blissdom and had a chance to get to know her better. Shaina is quiet, but funny, witty and opinionated. I like her. Shaina writes about cooking and feeding her family of 6 tasty, healthy food while saving time and money. One thing we discussed on the plane was picky eaters; she is doing a series of posts on that very subject right now. I know that is something all moms have to tackle at some point.

    

6. High Heels and a Hammer. Kristen is another person that I have known and been reading her blog for a while. She also lives here in the Twin Cities. I liked Kristen from the instant I started talking to her at a blogger gathering this summer. She is engaging, warm and smart. Kristen is always ready with a smile and a kind word. Her blog is so clever and full of beautiful and simple ideas. Kristen is always wearing her beautiful and stylish heels, but is quite handy with her power tools too; hence the name. Her projects are simple and inspire the reader to tackle her own small and large projects around the house. You're going to love this last site too!

The Scoop

I hope you will go and get to know my new friends. I think they all have a lot to offer; each in her own way. If you are looking to expand your blog reading list, these should keep you occupied for a while. Enjoy! Over and out...

Anna

*I know I said I was finished talking about Blissdom, but this is about my new friends that I met at Blissdom, not the conference itself.

**I randomly picked a few business cards while blindfolded by my new cool blue-gel GE swag bag eye mask. If you gave me your card, but you aren't featured, I still like you, friend.

I Am an Onion....

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister and a friend.

I am a lawyer, a writer and a thinker.

I am silly, friendly, inquisitive and talkative.

I am judging, irritable and sensitive.

I am a Texan, Oklahoman, Iowan and Minnesotan.

I am open-minded, controlling and determined.

I am shy. I am worried no one will talk to me. I am uncertain. I am sometimes lonely. I am tired. I am ignored. I am vulnerable.

I am loved. I am noticed. I am important {to my kids and husband}. I am complex. I am accepted. I am imperfect, which I'm told is the new perfect. I am me.

I am all of these things every day. There are many layers to my being. Some layers are thin; some layers are thick; and sometimes it's painful to start slicing through the layers. I was all of these things and more this past week at Blissdom Conference in Nashville. I have found that a gathering like this brings out the best and worst of me.

Blissdom unlike BlogHer, did provide more opportunities for networking and conversation. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of business cards I exchanged with other attendees. I was also delighted to meet and connect with a number of really lovely people. There were some who intentionally struck up a conversation with me because I was alone {and perhaps looking tired and dejected}; who shared a smile, a kind word, a tweet and a hug with me. I am forever grateful to those ladies who at various times plucked me up and made me feel included and loved.

I was in awe of the amazing keynote speaker, Brene’ Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection. Let Go of Who You Think You Are Supposed to Be & Embrace Who You Are. I know that I am a better person for having heard her words of wisdom. I am certain that if I gained nothing else from this trip, Brene' Brown's speech was more than worth it. She's a lovely fellow Texan with a penchant for relating stories and research in a heartfelt, meaningful manner.

Was Blissdom worth the money, the time, the expense? I'm still processing the entire experience to decide this. I'm still deciding whether I will plan to go to Blissdom in 2012. If I do go next year, I know I now have #Blissdom friends. Thank you Shan {sorority sister from my chapter}, Alycia, Kristina, Alethea, Kristina L. {in photo above}, Joanna, Abby, Heather and Sarah. I would not have laughed or cried {in a good way} nearly so often without these girls!

The last night was a bit of a fiasco and a whole post unto itself. Thankfully, Kristina L. was there along for the ride and helped provide some comic relief to the situation. I'll tell you that story another time. Over and out...

Anna

 You might also like:

#Blissdom Day 1: What I Learned Today ...

Motherly Advice {Reflections of Motherhood ~ www.nummies.com}

Mixed Feelings: Next Week

Motherly Advice: 15 Books in 15 Minutes Link Up

Life and Books

 As I have mentioned, I love books. There are a few that I have read several times; each time I have taken away something new from the book depending on the season of life I have been in while reading it. Others I have read only once, but recall specific passages or characters often. A few of my favorites I read in junior high or high school and honestly gained very little from them then, but when I read them again in college and even after college, having lived longer and experienced more, I could see the characters more clearly; I could feel the depth of the emotions; and I could grasp the situations more distinctly.

 

15 Books in 15 Minutes

Recently a friend on Facebook sent me an invitation to contribute my 15 Books in 15 Minutes. Although I never actually got around to putting it on Facebook, I did make my list.

What is 15 Books in 15 Minutes, you ask? It's a list of 15 of your favorite books; books that mean something to you; books that have touched your life in some way. The point is to spend no more than 15 minutes coming up with your list of 15 books.

Below is my list of 15 Books in 15 Minutes, in no particular order. Please make your list and follow the instructions below to link-up your list here.

My 15 Books in 15 Minutes

1. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

2. Ben Hur by Lew Wallace

3. The Bible

4. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

5. Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

6. Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

7. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

8. Angry Housewives Eating Bonbons by Lorna Landvik

9. The Chronicles of Narnia Series by C.S. Lewis

10. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

11. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

12 My Life in France by Julia Child with Alex Prud'homme

13. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

14. Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

15. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

 

Darling Boys' 15 Books in 15 Minutes

1. Dig, Dig, Digging
2. Twas the Night Before Christmas
3. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
4. Henry & Mudge Series
5. Brown Bear, Brown Bear
6. Little Eddie Series
7. Any book about space
8. I'm Dirty
9. Oh, The Places You'll Go
10. Peek A Who
11. Fuzzy, Fuzzy, Fuzzy
12. Gorilla, Gorilla
13. Dino Soccer
14. Where the Sidewalk Ends
15. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

Over and out..

Anna

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Con Law for Preschoolers: Exercising Our First Amendment Rights at Home {& in Schools}

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

    ~The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution

Constitutional Rights Practiced in the Home

I take our Constitutional rights seriously. You may have noticed that I have written about the 2^nd Amendment Right to Bear Arms, the 1^st Amendment Establishment Clause and the 5^th Amendment Right to Remain Silent previously. In our household, we exercise each of the freedoms bestowed upon us by the 1^st Amendment on a daily basis. And I bet you do too. Here are some examples:

• We freely pray when we feel the need.

Example 1: In long line at Target check-out; it's 6 pm; the Darlings Boys are with me; we haven't eaten dinner yet; it's been a long day; need I say more; I pray for patience.

Example 2: Darling 1 has lost Little Teddy along Nicollet Ave in downtown Minneapolis in the dark; next day in the car; it's snowing; Darling 1 prays that Little Teddy is safe and out of the snow.

We don't do it in a loud, demonstrative way. We are respectful of those around us who may or may not pray to the same God.

• We each speak our minds to each other about how we feel or what we think about a particular subject or event.

 

Example 1: Darling 2 is playing with a Lego vehicle that Darling 1 built the day before; Darling 1 comes over and takes the Lego vehicle from Darling 2; Darling 2 yells "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" before hurdling towards Darling 1; I step between Darling 1 and the hurdling object that is Darling 2 to prevent a violation of such rights; Darling 1 must return said vehicle to Darling 2; Darling 1 must then exercise his right of freedom of speech by asking for the use of said vehicle.

 

Example 2: DH complains about my inability to function well in AM after repeatedly trying to wake me in AM; I remind DH that he has known this about me upwards of 15 years now; DH maintains his argument; I maintain mine….for years upon years.

 

• The Darling Boys are working on the peaceable part, but they do assemble to petition me on a daily basis; and I petition them, as well. Generally, there is a bit of freedom of expression thrown into this one for good measure.

 

Example 1: The Darlings have just been told no more DVD time today; Darlings first try the "Puleeeese!" with sugary sweet undertones tactic; when told "No!" they proceed to the "Just 1 more, PLEEEEEAAAASSSE!" with borderline panic undertones; when told "No!" again, the Darlings now pull out all stops with "Oh No, We'll Never Get to Watch {Insert Pixar/Disney/HIT Entertainment Character Here} AGAIN!" while writhing, whining, crying, and perhaps laying on the floor or hugging the portable DVD player with frantic, desperate, dramatic tones; and then we move on to something else; again, they're working on the peaceable part.

 

Example 2: I make a new dish for dinner full well knowing the Darlings are probably going to stage a protest, ah, another 1^st Amendment right; yet I still serve the new dish containing {insert any number of foods or foods prepared a certain way or foods they ate last week, but have decided they don't like this week}; the protest is full on; I peaceable petition the Darlings to try just a smidge; just a lick of the spoon; protest continues; I continue my peaceable, patient petition for them to just GIVE IT TASTE, DANG IT. I SLAVED AWAY IN THE KITCHEN MAKING THIS DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS MEAL FOR US; this show of emotion has no impact on the protesters; meanwhile, their attention shifts to something else; they forget about their protest; they forget they weren't going to eat the new dish on their plates in front of them; they eat it; I win!

 

• Our family also believes in letting each person express himself whether through art or dress or demonstration {ahem, tantrum} or speech; regardless of whether some family members might think the form of expression is odd or ineffective {in the case of a tantrum}.

Example 1: We are going to the Mall of America; Darling 1 insists on wearing his orange, realistic-looking astronaut jumpsuit from NASA; I ask him to wear a pair of pants and shirt instead, pointing out that he might get his suit dirty; he insists and adds his NASA ball cap to his ensemble; I retreat; he has spoken his intentions and it won't harm anyone if he wears it; of course, he wore his firefighter rain boots with it too; if Darling 1 feels the need to express himself through his apparel who I am to stop him?

Example 2: See Protest involved in meal debate in Ex. 2 above.

You get the point. I bet you can think of many similar examples of your family members exercising each of his or her Constitutional rights.

Of course, there are limitations to these rights. In exercising your own rights you can't harm another person or infringe on his or her rights. This is something that takes time to teach when dealing with youngsters, but adults should know how this works.

Freedom of Expression & Students

Freedom of expression includes ideas, dialogues, poetry, photographs, art and anything else contained in a book. Not only does a person have the right to express his or her views as an author, anthologist, photography, editor, artist, etc., but a person also has the right to read, view and/or listen to his or her choice of books, art, photography, etc. so long as none of this is harmful to another, incites violence or is libelous.

The question here, looking at book banning in schools, is what about students? How much freedom is afforded to students in school? This is a question that has been answered by the U.S. Supreme Court.

In Tinker v. Des Moines Independent Community School District, 393 U.S. 503 (1969), the Court observed, "It can hardly be argued that either students or teachers shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech or expression at the schoolhouse gate." The U.S. Supreme Court has often times sided with the students in regards to Constitutional rights.

This is not to say that school administrators cannot reject certain newspaper article topics in the school newspaper (Hazelwood School District v. Kuhlmeier) or enforce the school's dress code or restrict vulgar language on the school's premises or regulate the students' behavior in hallways, etc.; the school administration still has authority over the students, but the students also retain their Constitutional rights while in school.

Case Analysis of Pico

In Board of Education, Island Trees Union Free School District No. 26 v. Pico, 457 U.S. 853 (1982), the school board "ordered the removal of the books from school libraries and proscribed their use in the curriculum because particular passages in the books offended their social, political and moral tastes and not because the books, taken as a whole, were lacking in educational value." Id. at 859. The school board responded "the board acted not on religious principles but on its conservative educational philosophy, and on its belief that the nine books removed from the school library and curriculum were irrelevant, vulgar, immoral, and in bad taste, making them educationally unsuitable for the district's junior and senior high school students." Id. at 392.

The questions before the Court, "First, does the First Amendment impose any limitations upon the discretion of petitioners to remove library books from the Island Trees High School and Junior High School? Second, if so, do the affidavits and other evidentiary materials before the District Court, construed most favorably to respondents, raise a genuine issue of fact whether petitioners might have exceeded those limitations?"

The Court held, "Local school boards have broad discretion in the management of school affairs, but such discretion must be exercised in a manner that comports with the transcendent imperatives of the First Amendment… such rights may be directly and sharply implicated by the removal of books from the shelves of a school library. Id. at 863-869. "Whether petitioners' removal of books from the libraries denied respondents their First Amendment rights depends upon the motivation behind petitioners' actions. Local school boards may not remove books from school libraries simply because they dislike the ideas contained in those books and seek by their removal to "prescribe what shall be orthodox in politics, nationalism, religion, or other matters of opinion." West Virginia Board of Education v. Barnette, 319 U.S. 624, 642 . If such an intention was the decisive factor in petitioners' decision, then petitioners have exercised their discretion in violation of the Constitution." Id. at 869-872.

In this instance, the Court found that the evidence before the Court failed "to exclude the possibility that petitioners' removal procedures were highly irregular and ad hoc." Id. at 875.

Source: www.findlaw.com

The Scoop

For other interesting 1^st Amendment Cases involving Freedom of Expression, go to http://www.ala.org/ala/aboutala/offices/oif/firstamendment/courtcases/courtcases.cfm. I plan to have a link-up post on Wednesday involving books {if I can figure out how to do a link-up post}. On Thursday, I will post tips for finding great books to read with your kids, making reading a habit for your family and online book resources. Over and out…

Anna

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