Motherly Law

The Burning Question: Valentine’s Day Gifts

Our First Valentine's Day

DH and I started dating right after Valentine's Day a long time ago. So, our first Valentine's Day together, we had been dating almost 1 year. I'm allergic to almost anything scented whether it's candles, soap, lotion, fabric softener, deodorant... Well, you get the picture. Clearly, I can't use perfume. Nor did I use any kind of scented anything in the almost year that I had been dating DH, and I did not hide this fact from him. I bet you can see where I'm going with this story.

Here it is, our 1^st Valentine's Day: I was so excited to see what he was going to give to me. Honestly, I have absolutely no idea what gift I gave DH, but neither of us will ever forget his gift to me: a perfume gift set. Not just a small bottle, but a whole gift set with perfume, body wash and lotion. I feigned delight, but the surprise was real. And so was the hidden disappointment. I tried to put it aside, telling him I'd try it later. But he suggested I open it and put some on. So, not to hurt his feelings, I did.

Immediately, my skin began itching; I started to get phlegm-y and sniffle-y; the headache wasn't far behind. Fortunately for me, in those days, DH worked as a cameraman for a local TV station during the evenings. Consequently, DH had only his dinner hour between the evening and 10 o'clock news to see me on that Valentine's Day. As soon as he left I attempted to scrub the scent from my skin.

I never opened that box again. He never mentioned it. I kept it just in case he remembered it and asked about it, but he didn't. At the end of that second year, near Christmas, I decided to tell him the truth so that he NEVER made that mistake again. And he didn't, but even 15 years later we still joke about the ill-fated gift of perfume.

The Scoop

What's the Best/Worst Valentine's Day gift you've ever received; or even birthday, anniversary or Christmas gifts? My Mother-in-Law has some good stories on this topic, but that's not for me to share. I know you've got stories. Come on, dish....

Anna

The Burning Question: How do you do it? {Mommy (&/or Daddy) Travels}

 The Travel Plan

If you read my post from yesterday, you know I am gettin' the heck outta dodge next week! This is not as easy as it sounds. There's a lot of preparation and planning that has to happen before I leave. In fact, the planning phase was kick-started when I was merely thinking of buying a Blissdom Conference ticket. A mommy can't just decide to go somewhere. A mommy must plan for her little chicks first.

 Now that I have the "Caretaker Plan" in place, I have to plan my clothes for the trip; pack; do laundry for everyone; figure out work issues and post schedules; make lists and notes for DH regarding meals, school, to-dos before I come home (i.e. it better not be a disaster zone condemned by the City when I walk in the door); plan meals for next week even though I won't be there to eat them; grocery shop; make daycare reservations for dogs {Yes, you read that correctly. They need mommy at home too.}, etc. etc. etc.

How Do You Do It?

How do you prepare to go out-of-town for business or pleasure and leave your kiddos and/or spouse? Do you grocery shop and plan meals? Do you have prepped meals available in the freezer? Do you clean the house? Do you leave instructions and ideas for things to do or line up playdates? Do you leave little treats, cards, post-it notes around the house for the spouse/kids? Do you line up a sitter or family member to give your spouse, parent, other a break while you're gone? Lay it on me…..comments, suggestions, general solidarity welcome! Over and out…

Anna

The Burning Question Answered: The Name Game

I was pleasantly surprised by the great response to the name posts during the first week of January. Last weekend, I asked you how you handled the last names when you married and had kids. I received many responses via comments, email, Twitter and Facebook.

Approximately half of those who responded said they took the spouse's last name and everyone in the family had the same name. The other half of the responders said they kept their last name or hyphenated. Each person in this group had a personal reason for doing so. The reasons varied from wanting to carry on the family name to the person was already established in her career and professionally known by that name. One person emailed me saying he was getting married soon and going to take his wife's name because professionally that was better for her.

Whatever the reason, a person's name, first, middle and last, is individual to that person and he or she should be able to be called and known by whatever name his or her parents or that person so chooses. For the most part, a handful of biblical and traditional names keep circulating through the generations, but it will be interesting to see what new names the next 20 years or so bring.

My mom found this cartoon in the USA Today last week from F Minus by Tony Carrillo and thought it was timely. I will post this week's Burning Question later today. Thanks to all who answered The Burning Question. Over and out…

Anna

In case you missed the name posts here are links to those:

Naming Baby: What do the Laws Say?

Roll Call: Baby Name Lists

Post Delay: Interesting Link Provided for Reader Enjoyment

Hello, My Name is________: Does Your Name Affect Your Life?

The Burning Question: What did you do?

The Name Game

I just spent the last week talking about first names; laws, trends, meanings, histories, the power and connotations of names, etc. But I didn't discuss last names.

So, my Burning Question this week: When you got married did you take your spouse's last name, keep your own, create a new last name, both change your names to a hyphenated version, or maybe just one of you hyphenated? And if you and your spouse have different last names, what last name did your kids get when they were born?

I'm just curious what the trend is right now regarding last names. I took my spouse's last name and our kids, of course, bear the same last name.

Bonus Burning Questions: What factors did you consider in making the decision regarding your last name? What was your motivation to keep your own name, hyphenate or create a new last name; personal, professional, family history, a combination?

January is Stalking Awareness Month. Consequently, this week I will be posting about stalking laws and tips for dealing with a stalking. I will be breaking the posts up into two categories: general stalking and cyberstalking. Stay tuned. Over and out…

Anna

The Burning Question: What I did…

Last weekend I gave a scenario and asked what you would do if this happened to you. So, this did happen to me, and this is what I did:

After the boy intentional pushed Darling 2 off of the padded play area and the boy's mother, engrossed in the book she was reading didn't even bother to look up and see what her son was doing, we decided to leave the area. Now I probably wouldn't have left just like that, but it was time for us to leave, and I had already given the 10 minute and 5 minute warnings before we were leaving. However, before leaving, I did go over to the mother and said, "You may not have seen this, but your son intentionally pushed my 2 yr old off of this structure, and my son fell face first." Her response, of course, "oh, I didn't see that. Sorry." I didn't mean to be rude, but I wanted to draw her attention to the fact that she was not watching her child.

My children are certainly not angels, but I do watch them and quickly reprimand them when they use inappropriate actions or words with each other and/or other kids. When my boys have behaved in an inappropriate manner they have to go over and "check-in" with the child to ensure he or she is alright and see how they can make their friend feel better (usually a hug and an apology). The boys' school uses this method, and we have found it to be effective, as well.

Thanks to those of you who answered the question, "What would you do?" You all had great suggestions. Over and out...

Anna

The Burning Question: What Would You Do In This Situation?

The Scenario

Your kids are happily playing at an indoor mall play area. You are sitting on the sidelines, but vigilantly watching your kids. Your kids are kind of playing with other kids. Your kids are atop one of the soft play structures, one of the kids your kids have been slightly playing with, runs over and deliberately pushes your kids off the play structure. The older child is fine. He sees the kid and slides down. The younger child doesn't see the kid. His back is facing the offending kid. Your younger child falls head first off the play structure hitting his face on the soft play surface, but nonetheless hurting him leaving a large bruise on his cheek.

The offender child's mother was the parent sitting closest to the altercation although she never looks up from her book despite the scuffle and crying. She has been sitting and reading her book the entire time. The offender child runs on to wreak more havoc.

What would you do?

The Scoop

This may or may not have actually happened to me. There is no right or wrong answer here. The Burning Question is just a poll of sorts to see how different parents respond to different scenarios. Feel free to leave an anonymous comment. I'll tell you what I may or may not have actually done when this may or may not have happened to me.

Note: I appreciate those who have read the Sunday Spotlight Articles and commented. However, I have decided to suspend that series due to lack to comments. I had hoped it would spur a lively discussion each week, but alas it has not. Therefore, I will be trying a few other weekend features. Please let me know what you think of The Burning Question. And if you have idea for a weekend feature, please send me at email at www.motherlylaw.com. Thanks. Over and out…

Anna