Motherly Law

Winning the Jackpot: A Girl Can Dream

Maybe it was watching the royal wedding, maybe it's the rain or maybe it's my mood, but I've been thinking and planning in my head. If I won the lottery, and mean a giant pot, like Mega Millions or the Powerball, this is what I would do: 

1. Pay off mortgage, car and debt;
2. Get an office space away from my home for me and DH;
3. Get a babysitter & go on a weekend long date night {Money's been tight; it's been a while since we have had a date night of any length.}
4. Put the house on the market;
5. Start looking for our modest dream home;
6. Pay cash for our new home;
7. Put college money in annuities for the boys;
8. Put retirement money in annuity for us;
9. Go on a real, honest-to-goodness family vacation every year {never have}
10. Sit down as a family and decide to which charities we wish to make large donations. Two of my favorites: St. Vincent de Paul and Minnesota Public Radio;
11. Send my parents on their dream trip;
12. Buy my parents a home in the Twin Cities so they can visit for months at a time;
13. Have two washers and dryers installed in new dream home;
14. Have two dishwashers installed in new dream home;
15. Go visit our families more often;
16. Sign up for a yoga class {my first};
17. Get a pedicure more than once a year;
18. Get DH a massage more than once a year;
19. Revamp my wardrobe, nothing too extravagant, just good quality, stylish, well fitting clothes;
20. Not work so much, which would enable me to;
21. Exercise more, sleep more, volunteer more and do more with my kids;
22. Randomly pay for people's coffee, gas or lunch; fill parking meters when low; and
23. Take boxes of pizza or sandwiches to homeless and domestic violence shelters on a regular basis as a family.

It never hurts to dream about what it would be like to have enough money to not have to worry about paying bills or unexpected costs or go on vacations or randomly help others, etc. Dreaming is what keeps me going each day.

What would you do if you won the lottery? Have you ever made a mental list or even gone as far as I have and typed it up? Do you buy lottery tickets? Do you have a strategy to picking the numbers? Maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket. I'll be back to legal issues next week. Over and out...

Anna

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A Full Calendar: Unofficial Holidays; Useless, fun or Important?

Keeping Up with the Mail

The truth is I used to be on top of all the special days and events occurring in the lives of my dear family and friends. I sent birthday cards, condolence cards, miss you cards, cards from the cat, mother's day cards, father's day cards and anniversary cards. And when my Daddy Mack {Grandpa} became ill I sent him a card, letter or postcard everyday for months on end.

This means that I bought cards, filled them with sentiment, sealed and addressed them, stamped them AND mailed them. These days, it's quite an accomplishment if I EVER get that done for anyone! It may not seem that difficult to do, but if it involves getting extra postage or having to go buy stamps before mailing then odds are it will sit here waiting to journey across the country to that special person for quite a while.

It's not that we've gotten lazy around here, but the calendar pages and to-do lists have been filled with a million more things than my pre-kid, pre-self-employed self had to do on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. I feel bad about sending my brother's birthday card 2 months late, but I congratulate myself for getting it sent at all. My standards have certainly fallen, but that's alright because I'm doing the best I can right now {at least that's what I keep telling myself}.

And while I've been busy and barely getting Mother's Day cards {some of the most important of the year} out to our dear moms and grandmas, the calendar has been gaining holidays and honorary special mentions left and right. I will never get caught up now! Does anyone know if there's a card for Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Day?

April, the Month of an Awful Lot

Did you know that April is:

• National Stress Awareness Month;
• National Poetry Month;
• National Child Abuse Prevention Month;
• Autism Awareness Month;
• International Guitar Month;
• Keep America Beautiful Month;
• National Frog Month;
• National Kite Month;
• Financial Literacy Month;
• California Earthquake Preparedness Month;
• National Garden Month;
• National Humor Month;
• National Parkinson's Awareness Month;
• Zoo and Aquarium Month;
• National Volunteer Month; and
• National Mathematics Education Month?

Did you celebrate and/or bring awareness to all of those causes? No? Me neither. I was aware that April is designated as the official observance for several of these organizations or issues, but I was surprised to find just how many.

April is also full of week-long celebrations and specially designated days. The week long observances include: National Library Week (10-16), U.S. National Park Service Week (17-23) & Week of the Young Child (the Third Week of April). If you don't have a month or week to spend observing these causes, perhaps you are interested in one of the 35 special days so designated in April: April Fool's Day, Find-A-Rainbow Day, National Read a Road Map Day, No Housework Day {oops, I celebrate that on most days}, National Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Day, & National Eggs Benedict Day to name a few! And this doesn't even count the list of firsts, anniversaries, birthdays are actually holidays listed in April.

Just in case you're wondering, today is Hug a Friend Day & National Pretzel Day {take your pick or celebrate both by hugging your friend and giving her a pretzel}, but don't forget to mark your calendar for Tell a Story Day on Wednesday and Take Your Daughter to Work Day on Friday and the list goes on. I'm really not making this up.

A Day for Everything

April is not alone in this onslaught of special day, week and month long commemorative events. Nope, most months have on average 10 official "unofficial holidays" on the calendar. Don't fret if you've missed out on observing, celebrating and bringing awareness to the 16 causes assigned to April. There are 17 causes listed for the month of May.

So, how does an organization go about getting a day, week or month designated as a commemorative holiday? Well, there are a couple of routes to getting a cause close to your heart or wallet a day or even month of its own. Well, of course, the chosen date will more than likely already be taken by another worthy commemorative event. So your day will have to share, but it's the thought that counts, right?

How to Get Piece of the Pie, Other than February {National Pie Month}

When it comes down to it, it's a matter of money for the most part. There are basically three approaches:

1. Hire a lobbyist to get the ball rolling and round up a few senators or representatives to rally behind your cause and have Congress vote on a resolution officially naming your commemorative event on a certain date. This approach takes money, of course. Lobbyists don't work for free;
2. If you have a particularly important, apolitical and popular cause that senators and representatives can easily get on board with like "stop cancer" or "celebrate peace" then you can skip the high cost lobbyists and go straight for the official resolution; or
3. Forget about getting an "official" nod from Congress, if you have enough money or media attention, or both, you can simply designate a certain date or month as "Save the Cupcakes" or whatever your cause is and launch a public relations and marketing campaign aimed at achieving whatever awareness, celebration or observance you intend. Now it helps to have a large budget and a proficient PR firm behind you, but it's worth a shot if you feel strongly about a particular subject.

Publicity Stunt or Pure Intentions?

Does it do any good if few people, if any, realize what day or week or month it is and remember to do something to bring about awareness, celebrate or promote your special interest? Does anyone care that October is National Pizza Month? How many of you went to get your free Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream on April 12^th, designated as Free Cone Day by Ben & Jerry's?

I found two articles albeit dated, that provide a fascinating look at the elaborate and successful PR campaigns promoting a cause, company or product by assigning a commemorative date; one focused specifically on food holidays. Also interesting is the list of Commemorative Events and Holiday Bills that have been introduced and/or passed by the Senate, the House or both this legislative session.

The Scoop

There are a few "holidays" on the horizon to watch for in May: Law Day on May 1^st, Mother's Day on May 8^th and don't forget to take flowers to your child's child care provider on May 6^th {National Child Care Provider's Day}. You can celebrate designated "holidays" the whole month of May by eating strawberries, hamburgers, bar-b-que, eggs, asparagus and salad. Here's a list of all of May’s Commemorative Events with links to other months. Silly, important or both? You be the judge! Over and out...

Anna

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Rock the Red Pump: Women & Children HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

Add Some Color to Your Wardrobe

I'm going to make selecting your outfit for tomorrow a little bit easier whether you are off to the library with your little ones; going to the office, lunching with a friend or heading to a meeting. Whatever clothes you grab to put on choose red shoes, pumps if you have them, to wear on your feet. That's right, I want you to "Rock the Red Pumps" tomorrow, March 10^th, in recognition of National Women and Children HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.

Rockin' It With or Without the Pumps

So, if you're lucky enough to have gorgeous red pumps like the ones in the photo, wear them and tell people why you're wearing them. Unfortunately, those aren't mine. They belong to my friend. My red shoes look like this:   (Clearly, that's not me wearing them, but Darling 2 looks pretty good rockin' it too!)Yeah, they don't have the same impact, but I'll be wearing them tomorrow anyway, making as much impact as my red flats can. And I'll be tweeting about it and posting reminders on Facebook too.

The Red Pump Project

The Red Pump Project started in 2009 by Luvvie Ajayi and Karyn Watkins who believe if HIV affects one, it affects us all. The Red Pump Project™ raises awareness about the impact of HIV/AIDS on women and girls. Their mission is to promote HIV prevention through education and open dialogue about the issues that surround sexual and reproductive health.

They use the red shoe as a symbol of empowerment to represent the strength and courage of women infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. The incorporation of fashion into the message of HIV prevention is their contribution as we hope to show that Awareness is Always in Style!™

A Few Sobering Statistics

While progress has definitely been made in the areas of AIDS prevention and treatment, women still represent 27% of all new AIDS diagnoses, with African-American women accounting for 66% of that group. This year focuses on this statistic, "Every 35 minutes, a woman tests positive for HIV in the United States."

If you want to get involved, get more information or find events in your area, go to The Red Pump Project. Now, go ROCK IT and bring awareness to this all too common devastating epidemic! Over and out....

Anna

Giving from the Heart: Tips for Raising Thoughtful, Generous Kids

Giving My All

My earliest memory of donating my own money was when I was about 8 years old. My family and I were listening to a public radio station and they were having a fund drive. I had a small stash of money, and I remember asking my parents to please call in and donate my meager amount. I think it was less than $10.00, but I gave them everything I had, and I was so proud. My parents have always been thoughtful, sacrificing, charitable people, even during lean times when we ourselves had very little at all. I'm sure that's where I get my charitable nature.

Charitable Lessons

Teaching kids to be charitable, thoughtful, generous people isn't necessarily an easy lesson though. At ages 4 and 2, my Darling Boys are mostly concerned with making sure they get their fair share. Although sometimes out of the blue they do and say the sweetest things. Darling 1 likes to buy me roses, especially when he sees single roses for sale near a check-out counter. Darling 2 loves to cuddle and say "I yove you" and according to his preschool teachers, he is always concerned about the other kids who are upset about something.

When Darling 1 was almost 3 years old, we were at a local mall play area and he played with a cute little girl. After leaving the play area, we went on to do some shopping and Darling 1 spotted an orange butterfly-topped pony-tail holder. He asked to buy it for the girl. I hesitated, thinking we would never see her again, but he was so adamant that I agreed to it. As we were preparing to leave the mall, we did run into the girl and her mom, Darling 1 was so very proud (and shy) when he gave her his little gift. And I was so proud of him thinking of someone other than himself. It's during these times, that the boys pick out and give a gift to someone or actually share snacks or toys with each other, that I feel there's still hope of raising generous, thoughtful men.

Now don't get me wrong, there's still plenty of "gimme, gimme, gimme" and "mine, mine, mine" to be heard in our household. Just the other day, there was a complete smack-down in the kitchen floor over who got to use the Lightning McQueen placemat for breakfast. In fact, neither one got the placemat. We have not used any placemats since that incident last week.

The point is to keep teaching by example, as best we can, by being thankful, giving, generous, understanding, forgiving, and sacrificing to those in our household as well as to those outside of our household. This is not always an easy task; take it from me and my experience with the placemat meltdown.

Tips for Battling Greed

Here are a few tips for weeding out greed and sowing seeds of love, patience, selflessness and generosity:

1. When possible, take your child with you to do volunteer work. If not possible, talk with your child about the volunteer work you did; why you did it; who will benefit; and how you felt after helping someone;
2. When making a monetary or in-kind donation of any kind, talk to your kids about it. Let them help decide how much to give, what to give or where to give;
3. Always be thankful, not just in your heart, but with your voice. Practice makes perfect. By always saying how thankful you are for things in your life; the choices you have, etc. you will truly feel thankful;
4. Talk about areas of your community, country and world where there's disaster, homelessness, hunger, poverty, etc. and how your family could help;
5. Let your kids pick out toys and books for donating;
6. Discuss money and how to save for something you really want, but can't afford right now;
7. Help your child set up a savings account and set goals for the money saved;
8. Assign age appropriate tasks or chores to your child with or without monetary rewards for doing the tasks;
9. Encourage your child to choose and buy or make gifts for siblings, parents, grandparents, godparents, teachers, etc. The gift doesn't have to cost much. It could cost nothing at all. It really is the thought that counts; and the lesson learned about how good it feels to give; and
10. Practice what you preach. Your kids are always watching you and learning by your actions.

Websites

• Here is a great site with information on fighting greed during holidays and gift-getting times: 10 Simple Ways to Combat Greed on www.Parenthood.com;
• This site has some discerning tips for Teaching Kids about Giving to Charities on www.familyeducation.com; and
• Another site with interesting tips is www2.scholastic.com which lists Ideas for Teaching Kids How to Make a Difference in Their World by age groups.

The Scoop

It's normal to want to give your child everything he or she wants. You love your child and you want him or her to be happy. But giving in to every request teaches greed and does not foster patience, diligence, generosity or other highly desirable characteristics. These are lessons that I struggle with every day. I still have lots of pruning, weeding and fertilizing to do when it comes to my Darling Boys, but that's what parenting is all about taking one day at a time, and doing the best you can. There are days we say we wish we could "do-over," and boy am I glad we get the next day to do just that.

How do you teach your kids to be giving, sharing, thoughtful, generous human beings? I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas. On Friday, I will post a bit of Motherly Advice. Over and out…

Anna

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In the Spirit of the Holidays: Donating to Charities and Avoiding Scams

A Giving Spirit

Once upon a time, I volunteered, freely giving of my time and money, as much as possible. I've helped build a Habitat for Humanity home; worked with those in need of basic necessities; sold (and bought) stuff to raise money for homeless pets; chaired committees, manned booths, stuffed envelopes, served meals and made phone calls all in the name of charity. And I enjoyed it.

Then, I gave birth…twice, and suddenly all of my time and money were consumed by these little beings. I tell myself that once my own little charities are in school I will have time to once again give to others. But in the meantime there are still some ways I can give without breaking the bank or stretching my already overly full schedule.

The List

There's certainly no shortage of need in this world. Everywhere you look, someone is in need of something. It could be a simple need or a "pie in the sky" request. It could be a need across the street or across the world.

I like to give locally most of the time. I know there are many needs in my metro area. I came up with a list of ways and places you can easily give, no matter where you live:

12 Ways to Give in Your Community

1. Church. I don't mean to give to a general fund or building fund, etc., but at my church there's a fund that goes directly to an organization called St. Vincent de Paul and that money goes straight to those in need of basic necessities. Find out if your church has a similar program or click to find a St. Vincent de Paul organization near you.
2. Your Child's Daycare or School. I know my Darling Boys' preschool has recently lost several grants due to lack of funding and the classrooms always have lists of needs for projects and play. Some schools might even keep lists of basic needs for students or collect clothes or coats that could be anonymously given to students.
3. Food Banks. At this time of economic struggle many households will be lacking in food this winter. A need that is often overlooked is that of kids who may have to go without breakfast and/or lunch while school is out for holiday because those families generally depend on free or reduced rate meals for the kids while they're at school.
4. Toys for Tots. These highly recognizable boxes are located in many locations. Just this last week, we saw drop off boxes where the boys get their hair cut and at our pets' veterinary office. This is an annual favorite of ours because the boys enjoy picking the toys to give.
5. An Angel Giving Tree. You are able to choose a particular child who has a particular wish for a toy and/or clothing. Last year, I chose a local angel online, picked the gift, paid for it and shipped it all from JCPenney.com on behalf of the Salvation Army. You can choose a boy or girl, an age and location, which can be local. Here is the link for that site: Salvation Army Angel Giving Trees.
6. Homeless Shelters. There are many needs at this time of year, especially in the colder regions. It's downright deadly to sleep outside here in Minnesota. This week our temperatures will struggle to get above zero, with wind chills plunging to -20 on some nights. But even if you live where it's warmer, the shelters tend to have an influx of people with basic needs at this time of year since those who can leave the colder areas travel to the warmer regions.
7. Humane Societies. Animal shelters are always in need of volunteers to help with administrative, janitorial or grooming duties, not to mention petters, snugglers and walkers. They also usually have long donation request lists.
8. Electric/Gas Companies. Yes, I know this might be the last place you would like to give extra money, but most electric and gas companies have a fund for those who, due to loss of income or illness or other event, cannot pay their electric and/or gas bills through the winter months. Here in Minnesota and other cold weather states, the electric and gas companies are prohibited from disconnecting these vital services during the winter months.
9. Police Stations/Fire Stations. Police and Firefighters collect stuffed bears for kids. The  officers keep these bears in their vehicles to give to children who are affected by a fire, domestic dispute, child abuse, etc.
10. A neighbor or acquaintance who is elderly, unemployed, suffering an illness or injury, new to the community, a veteran, etc. Take over some cookies, a meal, a card, a gift, a cup of coffee or just go over and chat. You could make someone's day. It's a big deal to make someone feel cared for and loved.
11. A local scholarship fund or one for a student from your alma mater: high school, undergrad or grad levels. Education costs continue to soar. There are many scholarship funds set up to honor a graduate of a school who died tragically; at a young age; or led a distinguished or prosperous life, etc. Check with any particular school you wish for details about such funds and how to donate to it.
12. Homeless/Jobless People Encountered Along Your Way. Keep granola bars, cracker packets or other packaged snacks in your vehicle or in your purse, brief case or backpack along with small gift cards to fast food restaurants or coffee shops to hand to homeless, jobless or otherwise desperate people you may encounter. This last point relates more to those living and/or working in metro areas.

A charitable gift doesn't have to be a large sum of money. Giving doesn't have to involve money at all. In fact, the person donating time and energy will get more from his or her time spent doing good than simply writing a check.

Avoid Getting Scammed

I used to worry about giving something to a person standing out on the corner with a sign. What if he or she used the money for drugs or alcohol or gambling or other vice? A friend recently told me, "When you give, it's from the heart. You don't have to worry how your gift is used when your intention is to offer help." And I agree with that, but at the same time there are some things to watch out for when contacted by phone, email or mail to ensure you aren't the victim of a scam.

If it's too good to be true, it probably isn't true. MSNBC.com recently published a list of the 12 Cyber Scams of Christmas. This information is a great reminder to use caution while shopping online for good deals, opening and clicking on links in email, and using personal information online to purchase, etc.

The Educated Giver

According to Mary Pilon from the Wall Street Journal, "There are two forms donors should request from charities before writing a check: the federal Form 990 and a charity's annual financial statement, which lay out assets, liabilities and the amount spent on fund-raising and programs related to a group's mission. Both are filed annually." You can either request the information from the charity organization or check out a site like Charity Navigator.

Charity Navigator has evaluated over 5,500 of the largest charities in the country. You can also find great tips about information to get before donating, how to handle a phone solicitor calling for a charity, etc.

In that same WSJ article, Mr. Bennett Weiner, chief operating officer of the BBB Wise Giving Alliance, is quoted as saying, "Donors should look beyond financial statements to judge a charity's effectiveness. Solely focusing on financial ratios provides in some cases a false positive." So, in the end, it's a combination of how the charitable organization uses its finances and how well it serves its purpose. Do the research and then go with your gut feeling.

The Scoop

Who can you trust? It's hard to know. Just last week, the Minnesota Attorney General's Office filed suit against Discover card for scamming its cardholders out of millions of dollars with deceptive telemarketing. Ironically, the lawsuit's charge alleges that Discover fraudulently enrolled thousands of consumers into financial products meant to protect consumers against credit card fraud. Not that I would expect any of you savvy people to trust a credit card company. Even still, is it possible to be cautious, yet giving?

In the giving mood right now? Please give me your thoughts about charitable donations or anything else that strikes you. On Wednesday, I will post tips for raising charitable kids in our greedy society. Over and out…

Anna

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