Motherly Law

Expensive Plastic: Tips for Recycling Car Seats {Not Buying/Selling Used}

Finding the One

It took me a while to get it right when it came to car seats for my Darlings. In the last 5.5 years we have had 7 car seats/boosters between our 2 children. I resisted spending the money on a Britax in the beginning. I shouldn't have because in the end I spent more money buying multiple car seats before relinquishing and buying the Britax (s) that I loved.

I learned my lesson. When it comes to car seats and shoes, I should just spend the money and I won't regret it {I'd love to buy my kids cheap shoes, but they both have extra wide feet that just don't fit in cheap shoes}.

But before I learned my lesson I dabbled in less expensive, less cooperative, less comfortable, less ease on the part of the mommy car seats. So, this meant in the end I had more car seats to get rid of too.

Don't Buy/Sell Used

Now, car seats should never be re-used, unless it was first used by your own older child or a close relative or friend and you know exactly what conditions it has had to withstand, how it has been used, whether it was in any kind of accident and how long it has been used. One should not shop for car seats on ebay or craigslist or other online ads site for used items.

You simply can't know the conditions the car seat endured prior to you acquiring the used car seat. Even if it looks like it's in perfect condition, it could have been in a car that was involved in an accident and be damaged or weakened in a way that you can't readily see.

Additionally, car seats should not be used longer than 5 years from the date manufactured, which can be found stamped onto the car seat. After 5 years, the plastic and belts may begin to break down due to extreme temperatures in vehicles, repeated use, etc.

Therefore, a car seat is something that you should neither buy used nor sell used. It's just not wise for either party to do so. There are other baby items that are fine to buy used, but not car seats. Your child is much too precious cargo to gamble with his or her safety while riding in the car.

Disposing of Car Seats

So, how should you dispose of the old or outgrown car seats? A family will at the least likely have an infant seat and an additional base, a rear facing/forward facing child seat or two and a booster seat or two, depending on the number of cars in the family, the number and spacing of children in the family and the family's commute schedule.

When I went to the fire station to have Darling 1's infant seat tested to ensure we had it securely placed and fastened, I distinctly remember the fireman telling me to cut the straps before I put the car seat out with the trash when we were finished using it. And this is what we have done when disposing of the first few.

However, I recently read an article in Parents on recycling car seats. No, I don't mean for you to make a planter out of the seat, although my Darling Boys have been using our old Britax car seats for rocket blaster seats for a while now. What I mean is that there are a number of states with locations, agencies and organizations that will take the seats and recycle the plastic.

Parents magazine mentions a website that actually doesn't list this information, but I found a "list" of sorts that does list recycling information for a number of states. The list is actually a forum of parents weighing in from various cities and states with their area's information, but the information is good and the best, most comprehensive information I could find listed in one place. You can also check with your waste disposal company or city and/or state government offices to find out if your area recycles car seats.

The Scoop

However, again, it's important to remember that if you do put your old car seat/booster seat out on your curb or in your dumpster {in the garbage or to be recycled}, you should cut the straps and/or remove the padding. This will prevent someone from picking it up for their own use. Do this especially if the car seat has been damaged in some way, whether in a car accident or otherwise.

You don't want someone else's child to be injured after using your used car seat. While this is a long shot, there could be liability issues, and unless you are an expert, you may not realize that your seat is too old or is damaged. Over and out...

Anna

F is for Fear: Bad School Policies Affecting Good Kids {On a Soapbox....on a Tuesday}

School Contraband

I really hate the stories about the students, mostly boys, who once at school discover they have accidently brought a toy gun or small pocket knife in their backpack, book bag, lunch box or coat pocket; who report this to the teacher because the student knows this is contraband that shouldn't be at school; only to be tossed out of school and receive a record of bringing a "weapon" to school and a school suspension.

A boy from Georgia did just this a week or so ago. While in chess club, the 13 year old middle school student, discovered the 1.5 inch knife in the military style bag his aunt bought at a yard sale and gave him as a Christmas gift. The boy, upon discovering this knife, immediately alerted his teacher. His reward for this honest act? A 4-day, in-school suspension.

The Wrong Message

I can't tell you how angry this story and others like it make me. Disciplining an honest, well-meaning child in this way teaches two negative lessons: 1) don't tell the truth and 2) justice is a fraud.

We tell our children to tell the truth; honesty is the best policy. We tell our children that justice will prevail; the innocent will be free and the guilty punished.

And yet, our schools have responded to isolated incidents of evilness with fear. This fear has caused them to write harsh and unfair policies regarding ANY "weapons" brought to school, whether real or perceived, under ANY circumstances.

Lessons Learned

These school policies teach children to hide the truth {and the contraband} should they make such a discovery in their bags or pockets. These policies teach children that mens rea, or intent, doesn't matter, motives are unimportant, they are guilty by association and the school need not have any evidence to present against them to be found guilty of this "crime." These are lessons our students will learn at a young age and take with them all through school and into their adulthood.

We have thrown out the common sense response to the self-reporting of accidently {or unbeknownst to the student, as in this case} bringing a toy weapon or small knife to school. The response in such cases should be kind and appreciative. We should applaud and welcome those who come forward to admit the mistake and turn in the contraband; then remind all the students of the dangers of having any weapons, toy or otherwise, at school for a variety of reasons and tell them to carefully check their bags and remove any such items before coming to school.

The Scoop

Schools, in trying to protect the students, have instead hurt some of the "good" students. These policies are bad. These kinds of stories almost always make the news because they are unjust policies. Why must we punish the truthful, rule-following, upstanding students? The simple answer is Fear.

Fear controls much of how we run our lives. We must overcome fear and recognize the difference between students who are a threat and in need of intervention and students who are well-meaning, good kids, who sometimes make and honest mistake. Over and out...

Anna

EpiPen Access in Schools: Anaphylactic Emergencies and Common Sense

Food Allergies

While my boys don't have any food allergies that I'm aware of, as a mom, I can understand the fear and anxiety that a parent of a child with food allergies must feel when his or her child is in the care of anyone else. I would imagine going to any public location could be dangerous, especially for those with severe allergies to commonly consumed foods like nuts, eggs and dairy products.

The worry of not knowing if a peanut butter and jelly sandwich had been eaten by the former occupant of a picnic table at the park; if the birthday party your child is attending is serving milk to all the kids; or if all the kids in your child's classroom are aware of the severity of the allergy and the dire consequences if the particular food comes in contact with your child could be all-consuming I would imagine. I would think it would be enough to make a parent obsessed with making sure everyone is aware of these allergies.

A food allergy is not to be taken lightly. A child with a severe food allergy could die very quickly if the allergen has any kind of contact with the child and the child does not have immediate access to epinephrine. This very sad truth has recently been in the news.

Ammaria's Tragic Death

Ammaria Johnson, age 7, died at school on her first day back to school in January after the winter break when a classmate, unaware of her allergy, gave Ammaria a peanut to eat while the girls were out on the playground. Shortly thereafter, after noticing hives and having trouble breathing, Ammaria sought help.

The school clinic didn't have an EpiPen on file for Ammaria. An EpiPen, or an Epinephrine auto-injector, quickly and easily is injected into a person suffering from an anaphylactic emergency, thereby reversing the reaction and saving a life. Instead, Ammaria went into cardiac arrest and died before Epinephrine could be administered to her.

EpiPens

EpiPens are by prescription only. Many kids with allergies keep a prescribed EpiPen with their names on them in the nurse's office at school for such emergencies. However, studies have shown that anaphylactic emergencies at school often occur with no prior knowledge of such an allergy.

However, if a child and/or staff member without a prescribed EpiPen on file with the school nurse's office goes into anaphylactic shock, even if there is an EpiPen available for another child, school personnel cannot administer that life-saving medication due to legal issues. More than likely, there was an EpiPen in the very school clinic where Ammaria died.

This and other such tragedies are too much too bear. When there is a life-saving solution available at one's fingertips, one should have access to it. There should be no "red tape" or threat of lawsuit, criminal prosecution or loss of license stopping anyone from administering this life-giving serum.

School Access to Emergency Epinephrine Act

Last November, a bill that would cut through this red tape and give those in need of an EpiPen at school access regardless of whether there was one on file for that particular child was introduced in the U.S. Senate (S. 1884). And in December, this bill was introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives (HR. 3627). It has now been referred to the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor and Pensions and House Committee on Energy and Commerce.

The School Access to Emergency Epinephrine Act would allow for schools to maintain a stock of EpiPens and administer such injections, just as they do bandages. The stock of EpiPens would not be prescribed to any particular students, but would instead be at the ready for any child and/or staff who experienced an anaphylactic emergency while at school.

This bill does allow for protection of school personnel from liability in administering such emergency injection. However, it's worth noting that if epinephrine is administered without need, a child would merely experience light-headedness, rapid heart rate and nausea, which would last only 15 minutes or so. Epinephrine is dangerous only to children with congenital heart conditions, which should be noted in school records. On the flip side, a child in need of epinephrine can die without it.

The Scoop

While this act is too late to save Ammaria, it could be instrumental in preventing many other deaths in similar circumstances. Ammaria is certainly not the first child to die at school due to anaphylactic shock, and she won't be the last if this common sense bill doesn't become law.

The saddest part of this story is that Ammaria's death was preventable, but we have become too restrained by the threat of punitive actions if protocol is not followed precisely. When a child's life is in danger, all protocol should go out the window.

If you feel strongly about this bill, please email your U.S. senators and representatives. This is a nonpartisan issue we can all support. Over and out...

Anna

The Lockout: Averting Catastrophe with an Emergency Kit & Some Chocolate

The Locked Door

Yesterday in my haste to get out the door with Darling 2 to pick up Darling 1 from school, I grabbed the garage door opener, left from a side door, locked it behind me and walk/ran the two blocks to the school. I needn't have rushed. The dismissal procedure was changed on Monday and then tweaked on Tuesday. What they failed to tell the parents is that the students are now leaving the building later too.

Darling 2 and I stood waiting and waiting until finally Darling 1 emerged from the school doors. We headed back home with plans of a snack and playing and a little Mommy time on the computer. As I hit the button on the garage door opener, I got a sinking feeling. I realized I had locked the door leading from the garage to the house when Darling 2 and I had come home earlier.

I tried the locked door anyway...and all the other doors too, but to no avail. I didn't have any keys for my house or my car. I did have my cell phone. I thought we'll just call Will. He'll come to our rescue.

Left Out in the Cold

Nope. I realized he had several meetings scheduled for the afternoon. That didn't stop me from calling and calling and calling, texting and tweeting him, hoping to catch him in between meeting. But there was no answer; I had the times of his meetings mixed up. The whole time I was trying to contact him his phone was in his computer bag with the ringer off.

Fortunately, it was nice weather and we had access to the outdoor toys in the garage. The boys happily played for the first hour of lockout. Then, the sun started falling lower and it started getting colder. Darling 2 and I hadn't even worn coats to pick up Darling 1. So, we retreated into the car in the garage. The boys rummaged through CDs and maps in the glove box, went through our first aid kit, tried on a few Band-Aids and pretended to drive. Then, we all three sat in the back bench, reclined as far as it would go and read from our stash of books that I keep in the car to occupy the boys.

Chocolate to the Rescue

By then, it has been an hour and a half, the boys were getting hungry. We went through Darling 1's lunch box and backpack and found a package of uneaten granola bars. Then, we hit the jackpot.

We found a large dark chocolate bar that had been accidently left in the car earlier. I had bought a stack of large chocolate bars for my Norwex Launch Party on Sunday. I thought I had smuggled them in without Darling 2 seeing them, but one had been left behind in the car.

Ah, the little bit of dark chocolate that we split lifted our spirits and helped to sustain us until we could be "rescued." And then, finally, after 2 hours of lockout, Will did come to save us {mostly from each other}.

An Emergency Kit

This little "disaster" made me think about resources available to me in a real emergency. As noted, I have a small and mostly forgotten about first aid kit in the car. I also have a tackle box in the linen closet with various bandages, ointments, etc. but that's about it.

I have to admit that I have considered stockpiling water, canned foods, packs of tuna, toilet paper, medicine, dog and cat food and the like in case of a true catastrophic event. My brain is paranoid enough for me to imagine the kind of apocalypse that would necessitate such supplies, but my space and pocket book are limited enough to prevent me from actually putting together such a kit.

The List

With that said, I do think it's a good idea to be prepared for anything, especially with the past year of "killer" weather. Floods, hurricanes, tornados, super power storms or even man created emergencies/calamities. So, maybe you don't have to stock 300 cans of green peas and 120 gallons of water and 45 rolls of toilet paper, but a kit with basics isn't a bad idea.

Several government sites suggest that kits include:

1. Prescription medicines and basic over the counter meds, as well as bandages, disinfectants and other first aid necessities;
2. Water {1 gallon per person per day}
3. Flashlight with extra, new batteries;
4. Blanket/sleeping bag per person;
5. Extra water and pet food for pets;
6. Formula, baby food, diapers, etc if there is an infant in your home;
7. Change of clothes for each person {change out for seasons and sizes};
8. Matches in a water proof container;
9. Wrench/pliers for turning off utilities;
10. Battery operated radio/weather radio with extra, new batteries;
11. Toilet paper, baby wipes, trash bags;
12. Non-perishable foods, enough for three days;
13. Local Maps;
14. Dust masks for each person, duct tape, a whistle and utility knife;
15. Cash
16. Important docs like passports, licenses/I.D., birth certificates, etc.;
17. Books, small toys, games, etc. to keep your child(ren) occupied; and
18. In an actual emergency, have keys, cell phone and chargers at the ready.

Resources

Ready.gov has a list of sensible basic items necessary in the event of a threat or disaster. The CDC has a great article and list on its blog about which items to store at the ready and about making an emergency plan for your family to follow if a catastrophe should strike. If you are in need of a good travel first aid kit, check out this article from the USA Today TravelTips page.

The Scoop

Personally, I would also add Laptop/Tablet and cord and Chocolate {1 or 2 bars per person per day} to the above list, but that's just me. Let's hope that such a kit is never needed, but if it is then we would all be grateful for being paranoid/prepared enough to have put it together. Or perhaps you all have this kind of kit in your basements already? Maybe we're the only ones completely unprepared for a calamity. Over and out...

Anna

Child Obesity: What’s in the Child’s Best Interest?

Truly a Growing Problem?

I came across an interesting article earlier this week, and I'm not even sure what my opinion is regarding this matter. It has to do with weight. Weight is a touchy issue; very few of us, have never struggled with a weight issue, whether the issue was to lose weight or gain weight. At various times of my life I have been on both sides of this issue.

Let me also preface this subject by saying that I have tall, muscular, broad kids (both built like their daddy) who both tip the scales at the top of their age ranges; they also rank in the top of height percentiles, as well. In fact, at the last well-check of each Darling Boy the pediatrician explained that based on their weights alone, he was forced to check them off as "obese" for insurance purposes. This reporting is done anonymously in a large pool of all kids who have well-checks, based on specific ages.

My children are not obese for any other purpose (check out those sweet, skinny boys above & don't let the 3 year-old's pudgy cheeks fool you; he's the skinniest). I, of course, spoke up and argued this point. While my sons' pediatrician agreed with me, he told me that his hands were tied because this "mandatory" reporting is linked to insurance companies paying the doctors for their services to patients. He went on to tell me that every big, strong high school athlete he had recently seen for school physicals were also labeled as "obese" for the insurance reports.

Now, this makes me think twice when I see the reports of the high percentages of obese kids; and all of the reports, studies, groups and grants concerning this issue. At the same time, I know there are kids who are obese and who need to learn how to eat a nutritional, balanced diet and exercise on a daily basis. There are also kids who have a genetic predisposition to weight gain. And now for the story I read. Then, you can decide where you stand on this topic.

200 Pound Third Grader

This subtitle reads like a tabloid article, and you can just picture the photo running with the headline in the newsprint placed next to the bubble gum at the checkout counter, but this is sadly true. A boy in third grade weighing 200 pounds was removed from his mother's custody and placed with a foster family due to his weight related health issues. The mother had taken her son to a hospital last year when he started to have breathing problems; clearly, a concerned parent. It was determined that he has sleep apnea. At that time, the hospital enrolled him in program aimed at reducing his weight. Through that program, he was being monitored by social workers and had been losing some weight, but had recently begun to gain weight again.

When he started putting pounds on, the social workers asked a juvenile court to remove the boy from his mother's custody based on his obesity as a medical neglect issue. The boy's mother claimed that she was following the dietary guidelines provided by the hospital program and was doing her best to help her child.

Obesity as Neglect

This may seem extreme, but remember the court's duty is to do what is in a child's best interest. So, is this in the child's best interest? What if the child was severely underweight instead of grossly overweight? How would you feel about this issue then? If the child appeared to be starving, the court would remove the child in this instance too. The court must do its best to ensure that any child that comes to its attention has a clean, safe and healthy environment with adequate nutrition and direction in which to live and grow.

Clearly, this is an extreme case, but it has happened before. The article I read from ABC News cited a 90 pound 3 year old girl who was removed from her parents' home for two months due to her large size and inability to lose weight in her parent's care. She was returned to her parents when it was determined that she had a genetic predisposition and she did not lose any weight while in foster care despite following strict guidelines.

The Scoop

Are we going overboard on the subject of obese kids? Is obesity a legitimate cause for concern and reason to lose custody of your child, even temporarily? For me, this is hard question. How do you feel about this issue? No matter which way you view this story and others like it, it's very sad for the child and the parents involved. Over and out...

Anna

A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down: Homeopathic Remedies v. Pharmaceutical Drugs

Honey, Please!

When I wake to a little one asking for honey, I know I've got a sick boy with a sore throat or cough. At our house we start with a spoonful of honey for these symptoms. That thick, sticky, antimicrobial natural medicine often does the trick in the middle of the night, allowing my little guy to return to peaceful sleep despite congestion, sore throat and/or cough. Of course, I don't rely solely on natural remedies. I also stock children's ibuprofen, acetaminophen, Emetrol (for upset tummies), homeopathic cold and flu tabs from Boiron, medicated cough suppressant rub (a God send for stuffy, congested, croupy, snotty nights) and medicated first aid salve; both from J.R. Watkins Apothecary.

Treating our Kids Right

Intuition, a gut feeling, a sixth sense, instinct; call it what you will, but whatever it is, as a mom, I listen to mine frequently. When it comes to deciphering whether my son's runny nose and cough is just a cold; my son's headache and vomiting are actually strep throat in disguise; or I should make a bee line to the emergency room when his fever spikes, even when the nurse on the phone tells me I can wait and see, I trust my gut instinct and seek appropriate treatment.

A parent's primary interests are the health and safety of his or her child. To that end, the parent tunes in to the child to pick up signs of distress or ailment in order to attack any infection at the first symptom.

The question is when a parent goes in to battle an earache, teething pain, the flu, a cold, a cough, an upset tummy or other treatable malady does Dr. Mom or Dr. Dad reach for pharmaceutical drugs or homeopathic remedies to soothe and restore the health of the sick child? There are now just as many homeopathic remedies to choose from as there are pharmaceutical drugs.

Homeopathy

Homeopathy has been around for hundreds of years, but has only recently become more mainstream. Europe has been much more open to such treatments, but in the last decade the United States has begun to embrace these natural remedies spending billions of dollars on homeopathic products.

From the Greek words "homio" meaning like or similar and "pathos" meaning treatment, homeopathy is the practice of healing the body with highly diluted natural occurring substances that create similar symptoms when taken in large doses. It's a natural way of providing remedies to ailments, but not everyone believes that homeopathic remedies work.

Some parents question whether these natural elixirs are safe for their kids to use and would rather stick to over-the-counter pharmaceutical drugs. Other parents have opted to take a better look at alternative medicines in light of the recent over-the-counter children's pharmaceutical drug recalls due to dosing issues in some instances and tiny metal shavings in another instance. And some parents have always used homeopathic remedies as their first line of defense when it comes to minor injuries and illnesses.

Homeopathic Remedies & Pharmaceutical Drugs

Homeopathic remedies are regulated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The FDA does categorize homeopathic remedies as a drug rather than a dietary supplement. Remedies labeled as such must meet the FDA's standards of Homeopathic Pharmacopeia of the United States (HPUS) just as pharmaceutical drugs must meet the agency's United States Pharmacopeia (USP) standards. However, according to the FDA's Compliance Policy Guide (CPG), compliance with the HPUS or USP "does not establish that it has been shown by appropriate means to be safe, effective, and not misbranded for its intended use."

So, are these remedies safe for use by children? Most doctors agree they are safe for use. Some doctors even subscribe to such treatments in place of over-the-counter pharmaceutical remedies. Since the active ingredients are so greatly diluted, there isn't much danger in overdosing as is a big concern with over-the-counter pharmaceutical drugs meant for children.

These remedies are natural and non-toxic and should not cause any adverse reactions. Even still, care should be taken to discontinue use if any negative side effects appear. Of course, if the illness persists for more than five days, the child should see a doctor for further treatment.

Hyland's and Boiron are two of the leading homeopathic remedies companies in the U.S. These companies provide hundreds of natural remedies for both children and adults and are stocked in pharmacies, natural foods stores and co-ops across the country.

Whether homeopathy truly works is subject to debate. There are those who are devoted followers those who think homeopathic remedies are simply a placebo; and those who dabble in homeopathy with medicine cabinets filled with homeopathic remedies standing shoulder to shoulder with pharmaceutical drugs.

The Scoop

Many parents like the idea of using natural cures to soothe their kids when they suffer mild illnesses, injuries or pains, but will turn to ibuprofen or acetaminophen when the fever shoots up in the middle of the night. For most parents, it's a delicate balancing act of keeping as many toxins and potentially harmful substances out of their children's bodies while maintaining their health and wellness.

So, where do you fall in this wide spectrum? I'm more of a dabbler with both pharmaceutical drugs and homeopathic remedies in my cabinet. Here's hoping for a healthy holiday season! Over and out...

Anna

Losing It: Mental Illnesses and Child Custody Issues

Some Days

There are some days; days that I feel that I am one step away from completely losing my marbles. The chaos, the lack of sleep, the stress, the ups and downs of life, it can be overwhelming. But I keep it together...for the most part. I know that these days are just that; one day ever so often in a life full of many days. I don't have a mental illness, and I have a spouse who can take the helm for a bit while I sort through my feelings, get some rest and move past the funk.

Mental Illnesses

And yet, there are parents out there who do struggle with mental illnesses. For some of these parents just making it through each day is a challenge; every day. For other parents with mental illnesses, medication can alleviate the symptoms and bring balance back to that parent's life; and the family's lives, for that matter.

Some of these parents have to find a way to cope with their illnesses and handle divorce and/or custody issues too. And other parents struggling with mental diseases are single parents dealing with everything on their own; work, finances, illness, parenting, medications. Many questions arise in these situations.

Custody Issues

For parents with severe mental illnesses the rate of losing custody is between 70 – 80%. Some states have laws that list mental illness of a parent as a condition for losing custody. The severity of the illness, combined with the symptoms of the particular mental illness, side effects from medications and the absence of another parent in the home are among the determinants for removing a child from the house of a mentally ill parent.

While all parents have a right to raise their children without government interference, the courts must weigh what's in the best interest of a child with a parent's mental disabilities and the impact on the family. If it's clear to the court that a child will be endangered by the parent's incapacity to care for his or her child, the court must remove the child from that parent's home and award custody to the other parent {in a divorce situation}, a grandparent or another competent adult.

In order for a court to determine what's in the best interest of a child, extensive mental health evaluations are ordered for the parent. The mere presence of a mental illness does not determine whether that parent will completely lose custody rights. In some cases, the court will find that based on all the evidence presented, a parent with a mental illness is still capable of caring for his or her children, at least some of the time.

A court's concern is that a child living with a mentally ill parent may suffer from neglect or abuse, be subjected to unsafe conditions or situations or be forced to take care of the parent instead of the other way around. Courts take these situations very seriously.

Due to these concerns of the courts and the high chance of losing custody, some parents in this situation may attempt to hide the illness or minimize the effects of the disease or the medications. Parents may even avoid needed treatment for mental diseases for fear of losing custody. While this is understandable considering how painful it would be to lose custody of a child, the parent must keep his or her focus on the child's safety and general well-being.

It's important to be forthright with any investigation, whether you are the parent being assessed; or the parent being evaluated is your spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse, a friend or a family member. Again, the focal point must always be the best interest of the child.

The Scoop

No matter the determination or outcome of any case involving a parent and/or child with a mental illness, it's a heartbreaking situation; and not one taken lightly by the courts. Termination of parental rights is final, but a custody situation is changeable, depending on circumstances. For instance, if a parent seeks treatment, becomes stable on medication, etc. the parties could revisit the custody arrangements, if so desired.

No matter how you look at it, a case involving a parent suffering from a mental illness is never easy for anyone involved. Over and out....

Anna

Choose Your Side Carefully: A Word to the Students of Penn State {On a Soapbox}

Kill the Messenger?

Hold the stinkin' phone. I just found my soapbox. I had been planning to note the various sad, ludicrous state of affairs repeated over and over again on every news medium concerning myriad subjects. Then, I read that Mike McQueary, the one-time grad student who gave the most damning testimony before the grand jury, had been sidelined and won't be at tomorrow's Penn State game due to threats. In fact, PSU has now placed him on administrative leave.

I was already quite disappointed to read how a number of the PSU student body reacted to the firing of Head Coach Joe Paterno by rioting in the streets. This demonstration was ridiculous. Paterno may have met his legal obligation, but his moral compass was off....perhaps for a good many years, with regards to Jerry Sandusky.

What I can't find is additional information about the threats received by McQueary, and who is threatening him. My assumption is that it's past and/or present students and diehard fans who have misplaced their fury involving this far reaching university shakedown.

Making Sense of It All

The anger, resentment and disgust should be placed firmly on the shoulders of Sandusky. The disappointment falls to the PSU administrators who knew of these sick and illegal actions perpetrated by Sandusky, but did nothing to stop it and failed to alert authorities to these crimes. Sadness shelters these vulnerable boys, known as victims 1 – 8. The utter disbelief goes to students who reacted so inappropriately at the news of the PSU Trustees' decision to fire Paterno and the University President.

How deep with festering sore reaches into the heart of this University is yet to be seen, but this must serve as a reminder to all of us that when we see or hear of an injustice, an inappropriate action or questionable situation, we must not turn a blind eye simply because we can't believe it, because it might be difficult for a family, a church, a business, the adoring public, a school to accept or that it will bring down a respected, prestigious, wealthy, well-known figure. These are excuses and are irrelevant.

The focus must be on what is right and wrong; whether a person is being harmed; whether some wrongdoing is afoot. It matters not who is committing the crime; no one is above the law. And eventually that person will be exposed for who he or she really is and this might mean bringing down a whole institution, but so be it.

A Message to the Students

To the students of PSU*, don't be fools; stand on the right side of this playing field. It takes a strong person to support the weak, the unheard, the forgotten; it takes weak, insignificant, superficial person to say we don't care about the morals, the crimes, the children; the game must be won at all costs. So, students of PSU, one day when you have children, what will you think of your actions? What will you tell your children about this chapter of your college career? There is still time to rectify your misguided stance. I believe you are better than this; prove me right. Over and out...

Anna

*I realize that PSU is a very large campus and not all of the students are acting in this way, but these few are destroying the image of the student body as a whole.

Straight Shooting: Boys & Guns

It's Inevitable

When I gather with other mothers the topic is bound to come up. It started when my sons were just little tikes, probably around the two year mark. And just as the discussion among moms is inevitable so is a boy's desire to know more...no matter how you, as a parent, feel about it.

I'm talking about guns; space blasters, water squirters, Nerf guns, laser guns, pop guns, rifles, pistols and any other kind of toy firearm. There comes a time for just about every boy when guns are of the utmost interest. It seems to be innate. It isn't something that can be contained or dismissed by a parent who wishes to suppress the issue of firearms, whether toy or real. It just happens.

This is not to say that a boy who puts a toy gun on his Christmas wish list will grow up to be a gun slingin', always packin', proud card carryin' NRA member. No, for most it's just a fad as are so many types of toys.

Not to be Ignored

My theory is this, the more you try to ignore the subject of guns, the more your son will want to know about what he's missing out on, which will only perpetuate the gun phase. Boys who are not allowed to play with actual toy guns will build them with Legos or other connecting blocks, turn sticks into guns or simply use their hands. We have allowed the toys guns, but the boys have only a few guns, mostly of the space alien laser type.

We are not gun toting kind of people, as I mentioned in yesterday's post, but I do talk openly about guns. I have explained about the dangers of guns, what to do if they ever encounter a gun in a field, at a person's home, at school, at the park, etc. I have said if they do happen upon a gun that they should never pick it up; even if it looks like a toy because many times real guns might look like a toy gun. Instead, I have instructed them to immediately report to a trusted adult. And I have made it a practice to inquire whether there are guns in the home where my child is invited to play.

The Presence of Firearms

Many people do own guns; some for protection, some for hunting and some for work {as in the case of law enforcement, not bounty hunters and assassins}. And to each his own; as long as the gun is not used or kept in a reckless manner and is obtained and registered legally.

Recently, while at a park with my Darling Boys and one of Darling 1's new friends from Kindergarten, the friend's mom and I had a conversation. Eventually, it turned to boys and guns. I mentioned that we don't have any guns in the home and she told me that they don't have guns either. Then, she said that she had been wondering how she would bring this issue up with parents of new friends from school who might invite her son over, and she was relieved that we had gotten that out of the way.

It's an awkward conversation to have, especially with fellow parents you may have just met, but I made a decision a while ago that I would ask. It's far less awkward to have this conversation than the conversation where you have to tell the parents that their child was accidentally shot and killed by a gun in your home. Sounds harsh, but it's true.

Just think of the number of times you have seen a headline telling of tragedy involving young kids and guns found in the home. Often, the child who lives in the home isn't even aware that a gun is in the home until he or she accidentally finds the gun. These accounts usually have the same storyline; a child finds the loaded gun in a closet, in a table next to the bed, between the mattress, etc. and by accident pulls the trigger shooting either him/herself, an unsuspecting sibling or friend.

You Should....

So, my opinion is that if you do indeed have guns for any purpose in your home, you should tell your children and anyone else in the home that there are firearms present. You should talk to the inhabitants of your home about the dangers of firearms. You should keep the firearms unloaded and locked. You should make sure that the inhabitants of the home know where the firearms are kept, and that location should not be accessible to children. This means it should be locked; kids can climb and reach anything.

The Scoop

And that's my two cents worth.* How do you feel about guns; toys or the real deal? Over and out...

Anna

*I write this from the perspective of a boy mom. Girls may have an interest in guns too. Of course, all the safety information pertains to both boys and girls.

Weird and Creepy: Laws Regulating Trick-or-Treating

Every year on Halloween, Will and I have the same discussion. He laments the fact that so many older kids come around trick-or-treating without costumes on, coming by later in the evening than the goblins, princesses, super heroes, cowgirls, furry animals and creatures from out-of-this world. I tell him the evening is all in the name of fun; it doesn't matter whether they have a costume on or not. Will continues to pester the candy-craving pr-teens queries like "What are you dressed as?" or "Where is your costume?" Dude, let it go....

Well, it turns out there are places where this would not be allowed, and DH is actually right {gasp}. There are cities that regulate the who, what when and where of trick-or-treating. Whether these laws are strictly enforced is subject for debate.

• In Walnut, CA you must have a permit to wear of mask or disguise of any type on a public street.
• In a handful of towns in VA restrict trick-or-treating to kids under the age of 12 years of age and define the hours of trick-or-treating from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.
• Women can't wear corsets in Merryville, MO; so, plan costumes accordingly.
• No one can impersonate a member of the clergy in AL.
• In Dublin, GA those over 16 are not permitted to wear sunglasses, masks, hoods or other such get ups that conceal their identities.
• In Belleville, IL children up to 8^th grade are allowed to trick-or-treat; the mayor says trick-or-treating is for younger kids only.
• No goofy mustaches in AL; at least none that will make people laugh in church;
• In Rehoboth Beach, DE if Halloween falls on a Sunday, trick-or-treating will be on done on Saturday, October 30^th from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. instead.

Does your city have any restrictions on how you celebrate Halloween? Either way, use caution and good sense while trekking through the darkened, spooky streets of your neighborhood; statistically, it's a dangerous night. Need some safety tips? Here are two posts from last year on costume safety and general Halloween safety.

Have a creepy, fun night with your little creatures! Bwahahahahaha! Over and out....

Anna