Motherly Law

F is for Fear: Bad School Policies Affecting Good Kids {On a Soapbox....on a Tuesday}

School Contraband

I really hate the stories about the students, mostly boys, who once at school discover they have accidently brought a toy gun or small pocket knife in their backpack, book bag, lunch box or coat pocket; who report this to the teacher because the student knows this is contraband that shouldn't be at school; only to be tossed out of school and receive a record of bringing a "weapon" to school and a school suspension.

A boy from Georgia did just this a week or so ago. While in chess club, the 13 year old middle school student, discovered the 1.5 inch knife in the military style bag his aunt bought at a yard sale and gave him as a Christmas gift. The boy, upon discovering this knife, immediately alerted his teacher. His reward for this honest act? A 4-day, in-school suspension.

The Wrong Message

I can't tell you how angry this story and others like it make me. Disciplining an honest, well-meaning child in this way teaches two negative lessons: 1) don't tell the truth and 2) justice is a fraud.

We tell our children to tell the truth; honesty is the best policy. We tell our children that justice will prevail; the innocent will be free and the guilty punished.

And yet, our schools have responded to isolated incidents of evilness with fear. This fear has caused them to write harsh and unfair policies regarding ANY "weapons" brought to school, whether real or perceived, under ANY circumstances.

Lessons Learned

These school policies teach children to hide the truth {and the contraband} should they make such a discovery in their bags or pockets. These policies teach children that mens rea, or intent, doesn't matter, motives are unimportant, they are guilty by association and the school need not have any evidence to present against them to be found guilty of this "crime." These are lessons our students will learn at a young age and take with them all through school and into their adulthood.

We have thrown out the common sense response to the self-reporting of accidently {or unbeknownst to the student, as in this case} bringing a toy weapon or small knife to school. The response in such cases should be kind and appreciative. We should applaud and welcome those who come forward to admit the mistake and turn in the contraband; then remind all the students of the dangers of having any weapons, toy or otherwise, at school for a variety of reasons and tell them to carefully check their bags and remove any such items before coming to school.

The Scoop

Schools, in trying to protect the students, have instead hurt some of the "good" students. These policies are bad. These kinds of stories almost always make the news because they are unjust policies. Why must we punish the truthful, rule-following, upstanding students? The simple answer is Fear.

Fear controls much of how we run our lives. We must overcome fear and recognize the difference between students who are a threat and in need of intervention and students who are well-meaning, good kids, who sometimes make and honest mistake. Over and out...

Anna

Too Dangerous to Consume? Hazards of Doing the Dew & Having Some Wip at the Reddi

Considering Junk Food

At this time of year, the start of one year before us and the food-laden holidays and past year behind us, many of us take stock of our diet and exercise routines. We all know which foods we should be filling our diets with, but why is it that ALL seriously delicious, crave-worthy foods are terrible for us? It seems like a really cruel joke.

Although I think that on the whole I eat pretty well, I am often snared by the chocolate traps and can fall very far down in the ooey, gooey, rich chocolate pit {which I don't necessary think of as bad thing}. At least chocolate does have a number of redeeming qualities, which I have mentioned to you before.

However, there are other foods sitting on grocery store shelves looking very innocent, indeed; that are actually deadly {to a mouse} or could be used illegally. How could these corrosive, dangerous items be legal to sell? These junk foods are actually quite often consumed. It might surprise you when you find out what I'm talking about.

Last week, I happened upon two stories regarding food items and the law. Each story is completely different from the other, but both are interesting.

Whipped Topping No Laughing Matter

In the first instance, last week in St. Cloud, MN, a 23 year-old male was arrested driving while impaired from a hazardous substance after he crashed his car into a pole. What was this substance? Well, inside the vehicle were numerous cans of whipped topping.

My first reaction was "what, you can sniff whipped topping?" How crazy is that? Well, as it turns out whipped topping is included on the list of dangerous inhalants.

While the whipped topping contains mostly fat and sweeteners {and no cream}, it also contains nitrous oxide gas. You may be more familiar with its other name, "laughing gas." Yep, that's right; nitrous oxide is the same stuff your dentist might administer to you as an anesthetic. This gas aids in the dispensing of the whipped topping and whipping it at the same time.

There are actually a number of household items that are can be inhaled. Some you are quite aware of, but others may surprise you. They are categorized as gases (nitrous oxide, propane tank gas, chloroform, whipped topping, gases from a refrigerator, etc.) aerosols (contained in spray bottles, such as hair spray, vegetable oil sprays, spray paint, etc.), nitrites (often contained in cleaning products, leather cleaners and scented air fresheners; butyl, amyl and cyclohexyl) and volatile solvents (Often found at home, in schools and in the work place, including glues, paint thinner, degreasers, felt-tipped markers, etc).

Not many consumables on that list. Did you take a good look at other items in the same category as the whipped topping? I bet you'll think twice the next time you spray whipped topping on your pie? But seriously, would you really want to eat this product again?

Do the Dew or Maybe Not

The second story involves a lawsuit. A man alleges he found a mouse in his Mountain Dew. He says he sent the mouse remains he found in his Dew to the folks at PepsiCo for analysis and they destroyed the mouse. The lawyers for PepsiCo came back with an argument that isn't quite what you might expect.

They say that if a mouse had indeed ended up in a Mountain Dew container, the soda would have dissolved the mouse into a jelly-like substance before the consumer ever opened the container; approximately 15 months after bottling. Hmmm. Well, that makes me want to drink this pop.

Let's ponder that for a minute. I'm not talking about a cleaning substance or poison or toxic substance that could dissolve a mouse. I am talking about a consumable; a beverage. OK, so it looks like toxic waste and tastes a bit like what I would imagine Windex might taste like, but still many people do "Do the Dew" quite often.

So, here's the skinny: Mountain Dew contains citric acid that is corrosive enough to destroy teeth and bones in a matter of months {if soaked in the liquid}, as noted by several studies. While citrus fruit juices have more citric acid and the rate of decay of teeth and/or bones would be the same; at least there is vitamin C in the fruit juices. So, will Mountain Dew kill you? Well, it's not going to dissolve your teeth and bones; unless you soak in it for a couple of weeks; and it's not known to be corrosive on your "innards". For the record, I'm not taking any chances.

The Scoop

At the risk of sounding like a food snob, I don't consume these particular foods, and I have to admit I'm really glad I don't'. So, there you have it; a few interesting legal issues involving foods under inconsumable circumstances. Over and out...

Anna

Twas the Night Before Christmas: Motherly Law Style

Twas the night before Christmas,

When all thro' the house,

Not a creature was stirring,

Except for the Mom;

The stockings were hung

By the chimney with care,

Full to the brim with Angry Bird pencil toppers, Pez dispensers, chocolate, Squinkies and socks;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of superheroes and pirates danced in their heads,

And Dad in his fleece had just started to snore—

When out on the lawn

There arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my work to see what was the matter.

Away to window I flew like a flash,

Peeked out of the blinds

And checked the triple locked door.

The moon shining down on the brown grass below

Gave no reflection at all;

When, what to my squinting eyes, peering into the darkness, should come into sight

But 8 plastic yard reindeer attached to a broken down sleigh,

With a little, middle-aged driver, so wobbly and slow,

I knew in a moment he must be drunk.

More rapid than eagles these reindeer were not.

And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:

"Now! Jack {Daniels}, now! Jim {Beam}, now! Jose {Quervo}, and Crown,

On! Bailey{'s}, on! Bud {weiser}, on! Malibu and Captain {Morgan}"

"To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves before a wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle...really, what does this line have to do with Christmas?

Regardless, up to the house-top those coursers did not try;

With a tired old sleigh and a tipsy St. Nick, those plastic reindeer didn't move an inch.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the window pane

The tapping and rapping and prying and tugging and struggling of that drunk Santa.

As I stood against a wall in the shadows, and reached for my Smartphone from the pocket of my flannel pajamas,

That fake Santa opened the window and climbed in with much difficulty:

He was dress'd all in synthetics,

from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnish'd

With chili cheese fries and root beer {say it like a Minnesotan and root rhymes with foot, kind of};

An empty bag he had flung over his back,

And he reminded me of...well, the Grinch

Just opening his {empty} sack:

His eyes – oh, how bleary!

His dimples very un-merry and really more like scowls,

Now, his cheeks were like roses

And his nose like a cherry {because of the liquor};

His droll little mouth was

Drawn down in a frown.

And the beard of his chin

Was as red as the nose on a clown;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth

And the smoke was thick and stinky,

Messing up my freshly cleaned house.

He had a broad face, and a

Big round belly

That bumped into my treasures and trinkets as he tread across my floor;

He was chubby and plump,

A right sad old elf,

And I dialed 911 when I saw him

In spite of my staring

A droop of his hand and nod of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but

Went straight to sleep.

As he sank into my couch in his filthy old suit,

He turned on his side and began to saw logs.

Giving a nod {to the police} as they arrived at my home,

Out he was dragged before

He could awaken and make haste out the door to escape.

Once revived by fresh air, he sprung into action,

To his team {of plastic reindeer} gave a whistle,

But alas, to no avail, those old yard decorations gave no heed,

And away the cops took him, as fast as they'd descended upon

My humble abode,

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight-

Merry Christmas to you, and I'm not the real Claus, just an imposter.

Well, I'll have you know that fake Santa was booked, jailed and bailed,

Then charged, put on trial and convicted

Of the theft of 8 plastic yard reindeer and one antique miniature sleigh,

Disorderly conduct {based on his action at the bar prior to the theft of holiday decor},

And breaking and entering of a residence,

For which he received quite generous sentence in exchange for the promise

That that red-bearded elf would never play Santa again.

And, the red and white Santa Claus suit?

He swears it came in the mail,

Addressed to K. Kringle at his address penned beneath.

He donned it for a lark, but liked its affect

And wore it out for the night of pre-Christmas delight.

Alas, his folly got bold and he landed in prison, abject.

Over and out....Happy Christmas Eve!

Anna

Choose Your Side Carefully: A Word to the Students of Penn State {On a Soapbox}

Kill the Messenger?

Hold the stinkin' phone. I just found my soapbox. I had been planning to note the various sad, ludicrous state of affairs repeated over and over again on every news medium concerning myriad subjects. Then, I read that Mike McQueary, the one-time grad student who gave the most damning testimony before the grand jury, had been sidelined and won't be at tomorrow's Penn State game due to threats. In fact, PSU has now placed him on administrative leave.

I was already quite disappointed to read how a number of the PSU student body reacted to the firing of Head Coach Joe Paterno by rioting in the streets. This demonstration was ridiculous. Paterno may have met his legal obligation, but his moral compass was off....perhaps for a good many years, with regards to Jerry Sandusky.

What I can't find is additional information about the threats received by McQueary, and who is threatening him. My assumption is that it's past and/or present students and diehard fans who have misplaced their fury involving this far reaching university shakedown.

Making Sense of It All

The anger, resentment and disgust should be placed firmly on the shoulders of Sandusky. The disappointment falls to the PSU administrators who knew of these sick and illegal actions perpetrated by Sandusky, but did nothing to stop it and failed to alert authorities to these crimes. Sadness shelters these vulnerable boys, known as victims 1 – 8. The utter disbelief goes to students who reacted so inappropriately at the news of the PSU Trustees' decision to fire Paterno and the University President.

How deep with festering sore reaches into the heart of this University is yet to be seen, but this must serve as a reminder to all of us that when we see or hear of an injustice, an inappropriate action or questionable situation, we must not turn a blind eye simply because we can't believe it, because it might be difficult for a family, a church, a business, the adoring public, a school to accept or that it will bring down a respected, prestigious, wealthy, well-known figure. These are excuses and are irrelevant.

The focus must be on what is right and wrong; whether a person is being harmed; whether some wrongdoing is afoot. It matters not who is committing the crime; no one is above the law. And eventually that person will be exposed for who he or she really is and this might mean bringing down a whole institution, but so be it.

A Message to the Students

To the students of PSU*, don't be fools; stand on the right side of this playing field. It takes a strong person to support the weak, the unheard, the forgotten; it takes weak, insignificant, superficial person to say we don't care about the morals, the crimes, the children; the game must be won at all costs. So, students of PSU, one day when you have children, what will you think of your actions? What will you tell your children about this chapter of your college career? There is still time to rectify your misguided stance. I believe you are better than this; prove me right. Over and out...

Anna

*I realize that PSU is a very large campus and not all of the students are acting in this way, but these few are destroying the image of the student body as a whole.

Falling Into the Reflecting Pool: Narcissistic Criminals

What Would You Do?

There is a saying that goes something like this, "What would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn't fail?" It is usually meant to inspire people to aspire to great things. Well, I have a slightly different question. What would you do if you knew you would get away with it?

After reading too many articles about greatly accomplished people who have money, status, respect and influence who eventually fall from grace and into criminal court, I have come to ask this question: what makes a person who has wealth, prestige and power commit a crime? Is it the belief that all that he has will redeem him of his crimes? Is it that he truly believes he is immune from criminal charges and above the law? Is it that he thinks no one could possibly believe that he, such a fine person, would commit horrible crimes? Or could it be something else?

Criminals at the Top

Yes, I realize I have used the masculine word "he" in the above paragraph. It's not that I don't think women would or could commit such crimes, they have. But the instances that come to my mind are overwhelmingly men. Just in the last few days, I have read several such articles and when I think back further over the years, the list seems endless; there are athletes, politicians, lobbyists, celebrities, businessmen and socialites.

Yes, I realize that people of all walks of life, regardless of the amount in the bank account, the size of the investment portfolio or the person's background, education, upbringing, religious beliefs, gender, profession or lack thereof commit all kinds of crimes. And there is almost always a question of why regardless of whom it is that commits the crime.

But to me, the most baffling are those who seem to have it all and then lose it all because they chose to break the law; those who are already in the limelight and more closely scrutinized even before allegations of crime emerge; those who are in leadership positions; those who command great respect; those who hold great monetary power.

Greed

My theory is that greed, pure and simple greed, is at the heart of this matter. The more you have, the more you want. The more you have, the easier it is to get what you want. The more you have, the bigger your ego. The more you have, the less you care about others.

The high and mighty do not steal to cover basic needs or provide for their families. They, generally, are not mentally deranged. They are not modern day Robin Hoods. They simply do it because they think they can. They do it because they don't care about how their crimes will affect others around them. They do it because they want to and it will benefit them in some way.

Narcissism

My hypothesis is that these people are narcissistic. Narcissism is quite complex, and just what it entails seems to depend on whom you ask, but basically it's inflated self-importance, lack of concern with what happens to others and a highly developed sense of entitlement. Put these things together and you could have a criminal mastermind.

Oddly enough it's probably these narcissistic traits that helped these people rise to the top of their respective professions. And sadly, it's these traits that will aid them in rebuilding their fame and fortune even after they serve their time and pay their fines and drop from view for a short period of time.

Almost all will return to the public eye and many with a spot on TV or a book or two in which they get to talk about themselves. What a surprise. After all, another characteristic of narcissism is a lack of shame.

The Scoop

The above description of narcissism sounds like a young child: self-centered, selfish, and self-important. The world revolves around the toddler. Fortunately, most kids grow out of this self centric universe and realize that others have feelings and needs and develop a sense of responsibility, service and compassion. Those who don't may grow up to be the president, a corporate giant, a celebrity and perhaps a criminal. Over and out...

Anna

A Fine How Do You Do: Theft or Slip of the Mind? {On a Soapbox}

Where to Draw the Line

It's against the law to take anything you haven't paid for from a store. It doesn't matter whether the item cost $2 or $20,000; it's still a crime. Some people do steal. And when they do they should be punished. But sometimes people make a simple mistake. Sometimes it's just a slip of the mind.

Should that person still be punished? Or should that person be able to pay for the item that he or she forgot to pay for, but meant to, and go on about his or her business?

Before you answer that question, let me tell you a story.

Welcome to Hawaii

A family moves from CA to HI, after a few weeks, they are still trying to figure out their new surroundings. The mom, dad and almost 3 year old daughter take the bus to the grocery store, getting lost in the process, finally arriving at a Safeway.

The mom is 30 weeks pregnant. She is famished; the whole family is hungry since they got lost and their trip to the grocery store took much longer than expected. As they shop, they pick up two chicken salad sandwiches, open the packages, saving the wrappers for the checkout line, and eat the sandwiches in plain view.

The family finishes shopping, pays for their groceries and exits the store. At this point, store security approaches them. It is at this point that the couple realizes they forgot to pay for the sandwiches they ate. They offer to pay the $5 for the sandwiches, but are taken to the manager's office.

Again, they try to pay for the sandwiches, explaining what happened. The manager refuses to allow them to pay for the sandwiches, citing store policy regarding theft. Instead, the store manager called the police. Four hours later, the police arrive.

The police arrested the mom and the dad, and child protective services arrived to take the almost 3 year old into custody. The mom kept her composure until her little girl was gone. At that point, she became hysterical, got sick and threw up due to her concern for her child who had never spent a night away from them.

The police booked them, took mug shots and then released the two on a $50 bond each. The parents walked back to Safeway, retrieved their groceries and walked home. At this point, it was almost midnight. The couple sat up that night waiting for the first minute they could get their daughter back. Eighteen hours after their little girl was taken from them, she was returned.

They retained an attorney. And at the attorney's advice went to the media about this. Safeway's corporate office is backpedaling fast.

My Take

Where's the humanity? I got sick to my stomach and tears welled up in my eyes as I read this account. I placed myself in this mom's shoes and I know that could have very well have been me. My heart went out to her thinking about her child being taken away from her by a person who her daughter did not know, having never spent the night away from mom and dad.

Who among us, especially while pregnant, has not opened a package of food for us or our child while shopping? And who among us, especially while pregnant, has not had a slip of the mind while running errands, particularly with a child?

I am all for punishing crimes; crimes of any degree. But there was no intent here; there was no crime here.

Safeway, have a heart; have some decency; listen to your paying customers. They may have a valid explanation. I don't have any Safeways around me, but you can bet your beans that if I did, I wouldn't give them any of my business ever again.

Safeway, this is the kind of debacle people remember. This kind of thing makes me fighting mad! Let me tell you another story, with a different flavor.

Several days ago, I saw a tweet from someone that said her aunt in MA was having back trouble and had phoned her local grocery store and asked if they could help her out. They took her list, shopped, checked out, bagged and delivered her groceries to her; all just because they value their customers.

I tweeted this woman's niece to ask her what grocery store it was. She said it was a small, local store and they didn't even have a website, but she was volunteering to create one for them since they had been so nice to her aunt.

Now that's good customer service. Trust others; give people the benefit of the doubt; have some humanity! You just might be wearing the other shoe one day and need human kindness yourself. Now, how would you answer the question? Theft or slip of the mind? Over and out...

Anna