Hanging By a Thread

Where are you, Christmas Joy? Dealing with the SADness of Seasonal Affective Disorder

The Cruelest Month

December is the cruelest month. I have always loved winter and Christmas, but since moving to Iowa and then Minnesota 11 years ago, I have felt the blues begin to settle in come end of November and beginning of December when the days get exceedingly short and dark and dreary. I drag around completely exhausted, with bags under my eyes. I have no energy or "unction" to do anything. I feel low and down and sad.

Each year it seems to get a little worse. A number of years ago, I began to notice the pattern and acknowledge my blues. I would tell myself I wasn't going crazy; it would pass. And it does...eventually. I have come to realize that I suffer from SAD; that is, Seasonal Affective Disorder.

This year, with Ben's death, one month ago, and the many stresses of 2011, I have really begun to feel the SADness deepen and settle all around me like thick, black fog. I feel as though I am slogging through wet cement, hot tears roll down my cheeks as I drive along running errands or sit typing out articles, I can't get enough rest and I can't muster the joy of the season no matter how much I try.

A Ray of Light

This year is especially low, but this year I have a SAD lamp. Years ago, my brother lived in AK and suffered from SAD too. He now lives in sunny and humid Houston and I am now the proud owner of a big, bulky, very bright and sunny SAD lamp. I have used it only a few times, but I am working on getting into a schedule of using it on a regular basis in an attempt to brighten my mood.

Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD affects people in winter or summer, spring or fall, year after year. It can happen at different times of the year, but often occurs during the winter when a person with otherwise normal mental health suffers from episodes of depression.

SAD occurs more often in women than men, and those who live in places with long, dark winters have the greatest chance of suffering from this type of depression. Apparently, it's estimated that 20% of SAD sufferers are Irish; about 10% of those in Netherland are afflicted with SAD and 8.9% of Alaskans suffer from this disorder. Other factors include hormones, genes, amount of light exposed to each day and body temperature.

Symptoms of SAD

While there is no test to determine if one does indeed suffer from SAD, a health professional can make a diagnosis based on symptoms of the patient and by ruling out other illnesses. A person with SAD usually presents these symptoms:

• Increased appetite and weight gain;
• Irritability and unhappiness;
• Lack of energy;
• Difficulty concentrating and remembering details;
• Fatigue;
• Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping;
• Sad, anxious or empty feelings;
• Social withdrawal;
• Loss of interest in work or other activities; and
• Sense of hopelessness.

Phototherapy

There are a number of treatments that can be very helpful for SAD sufferers. The most common treatment comes in the form of light; a very bright light. It helps to get outside and exercise during the hours with sunlight, but light therapy is best way to get the "sunlight" needed. This is accomplished with a special lamp with fluorescent lights up to 10,000 lux.

Studies have shown that light therapy of 3,000 lux for 2 hours a day for 5 weeks or 10,000 lux for 30 minutes a day for 8 weeks is effective for many. By sitting a few yards away and glancing at the light occasionally, the "rays" can help ease the SAD symptoms.

However, commercial light boxes are not regulated by law in the U.S. So, use caution when selecting a phototherapy lamp. They are not all the same.

And, of course, neither are we humans all the same. Therefore, light therapy does not work for everyone. In fact, 20 to 50% of SAD sufferers do not feel a difference with the light box. If that is the case and the symptoms are severe and unrelenting, other treatment could be sought; that is, vitamins or supplements, occupational therapy or antidepressants. As with any medical diagnosis or treatment, seek the advice of a medical professional before beginning any treatment.

For now, I'm sticking with my light box and trying to find the right time and place to use it each day. I have been told that starting off each dark morning for a 30 minutes of light and/or 30 minutes of phototherapy each evening when it's already dark will be helpful.

The Scoop

I am optimistic, as always, even through this very low time. I give myself pep talks and try to force myself to keep up my social calendar, but it's extremely difficult getting through each day. Much of the time, I feel like I am accomplishing only the mandatory tasks of each day and going through the motions, leaving much undone.

This may sound backwards and crazy to some, but I really feel that some bright and beautiful snow would lift my spirits. There is more light reflected and less darkness when there is snow. Now, where are you snow? Where are you Christmas? Please come to me in Minnesota and light my very dark winter, and lead the way to a soggy spring and beautiful summer.

Does this sound familiar? Do you or someone you know suffer from SAD? How have you dealt with the lack of sunshine during the winter months? Over and out...

Anna

Losing It: Mental Illnesses and Child Custody Issues {A Post from the Past}

Some Days

There are some days; days that I feel that I am one step away from completely losing my marbles. The chaos, the lack of sleep, the stress, the ups and downs of life, it can be overwhelming. But I keep it together...for the most part. I know that these days are just that; one day ever so often in a life full of many days. I don't have a mental illness, and I have a spouse who can take the helm for a bit while I sort through my feelings, get some rest and move past the funk.

Mental Illnesses

And yet, there are parents out there who do struggle with mental illnesses. For some of these parents just making it through each day is a challenge; every day. For other parents with mental illnesses, medication can alleviate the symptoms and bring balance back to that parent's life; and the family's lives, for that matter.

Some of these parents have to find a way to cope with their illnesses and handle divorce and/or custody issues too. And other parents struggling with mental diseases are single parents dealing with everything on their own; work, finances, illness, parenting, medications. Many questions arise in these situations.

Custody Issues

For parents with severe mental illnesses the rate of losing custody is between 70 – 80%. Some states have laws that list mental illness of a parent as a condition for losing custody. The severity of the illness, combined with the symptoms of the particular mental illness, side effects from medications and the absence of another parent in the home are among the determinants for removing a child from the house of a mentally ill parent.

While all parents have a right to raise their children without government interference, the courts must weigh what's in the best interest of a child with a parent's mental disabilities and the impact on the family. If it's clear to the court that a child will be endangered by the parent's incapacity to care for his or her child, the court must remove the child from that parent's home and award custody to the other parent {in a divorce situation}, a grandparent or another competent adult.

In order for a court to determine what's in the best interest of a child, extensive mental health evaluations are ordered for the parent. The mere presence of a mental illness does not determine whether that parent will completely lose custody rights. In some cases, the court will find that based on all the evidence presented, a parent with a mental illness is still capable of caring for his or her children, at least some of the time.

A court's concern is that a child living with a mentally ill parent may suffer from neglect or abuse, be subjected to unsafe conditions or situations or be forced to take care of the parent instead of the other way around. Courts take these situations very seriously.

Due to these concerns of the courts and the high chance of losing custody, some parents in this situation may attempt to hide the illness or minimize the effects of the disease or the medications. Parents may even avoid needed treatment for mental diseases for fear of losing custody. While this is understandable considering how painful it would be to lose custody of a child, the parent must keep his or her focus on the child's safety and general well-being.

It's important to be forthright with any investigation, whether you are the parent being assessed; or the parent being evaluated is your spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse, a friend or a family member. Again, the focal point must always be the best interest of the child.

The Scoop

No matter the determination or outcome of any case involving a parent and/or child with a mental illness, it's a heartbreaking situation; and not one taken lightly by the courts. Termination of parental rights is final, but a custody situation is changeable, depending on circumstances. For instance, if a parent seeks treatment, becomes stable on medication, etc. the parties could revisit the custody arrangements, if so desired.

No matter how you look at it, a case involving a parent suffering from a mental illness is never easy for anyone involved. Over and out....

Anna

Profile of a Stranger in a Coffee Shop: Mental Health Issues

Her pale green eyes gazed out at her surrounding without truly seeing what lay before her. She systematically without thought or feeling plucked small clumps of hair from her thick, wavy, salt and pepper mane; twisting the bits into wads and stuffing them into the front pocket of her jeans.

She sat with the book, Resume Writing for Dummies, draped across her lap and on occasion would glance at the pages intently and take a note or two before returning her blank gaze outward, sipping her hot coffee intermittently. Her expressions were as blank as her stare.

What was going on behind that placid, but sad face? What thoughts were forming; what decisions were being made?

Moving with halting steps and small ticks of her head she whispered disapproving messages to herself as she made her way out the door, to her car and slowly, ever as haltingly, drove away.

Her pain was palpable to me. The way she pulled her hair out made me wince and twisted my stomach. I watched her and felt her heartache. And yet, she was all but invisible to everyone else there.

I wondered if there was anything I could have done; something I should have done. But I did nothing. It seemed she had a mental illness of some sort. It was apparent that she was wrestling some demon in her mind; working hard to keep the destructive forces at bay.

Did she win the battle that day? I'll probably never know. I'm a regular at that coffee shop, but it was the first time I'd ever seen this woman. What brought her there to that coffee shop to sit and ponder life as she gave deep, yet fleeting, thought to the Resume Writing for Dummies spread open across her lap?

I often think of her when I look at the chair that she once sat in; and I wonder about her whereabouts, her mental health, whether she had a spouse or kids and what her resume held.

On Wednesday, I'll explore legal issues regarding parents with mental illnesses. Tune in again tomorrow. Over and out...

Anna

Something Different: IDEA Part C Updates to Take Effect

Gawking Strangers

The stares. I'm still not used to the stares. And it's not kids; it's adults; it's other parents. We were surprised by this part of it. I suppose we shouldn't have been though. Three weeks ago, Darling 1 got two casts from below his knees down to his toes. He isn't hurt; he isn't in pain. He is a toewalker and has been since he began walking at 10 months.

I've been working on treatment for this since that time. Finally, he's getting treatment. He's growing new muscle in his calves that will give him more range of motion. We have a remedy. Every Tuesday he gets new casts, slowly, but surely changing the angle of his foot.

The Casts

The new casts each week is the fun part of this process. He is being very brave, and we are very proud of him. He has had only a few melt-downs about not being able to wiggle his toes or being itchy, etc. But he knows what the casts are doing, and he wants to be able to walk flat-footed. So, he endures.

His friends, classmates and teachers have been wonderful about it. They love to see what colors and designs will show up each Wednesday. They are totally accepting of his new look. Darling 1 gets around perfectly fine; he just can't run, but he can walk really fast.

Mind Your Own Beeswax

The adults we come in contact with, or merely pass by, are the ones who stare and ask questions; questions that make Darling 1 cast a fixed gaze to the ground. The stares have gotten to me. I stare back. I answer the probing questions from strangers with terse, vague answers. Darling 1 hasn't noticed that anyone is rubber-necking as they drive by as he happily walks along next to me on our way home from school or as we amble into the store from a parking lot or as he easily makes his way up, over, under and through the playground equipment at the park or while we wait to be called back for our appointment at Children's Hospital. Thank God.

I know these strangers don't mean any harm; they don't mean to be rude; they're simply curious. "Two casts?" "Wow, two broken legs?" "Oh, that must hurt?" "What did you do?" Well, when you're 5 years old and just want to fit in and you see the differences, those questions can be hurtful and perplexing.

I won't pretend to know all the heartbreak, the difficulties or the joys and the pride of raising a child with extreme disabilities. I'm sure they are many. But I now have a new appreciation for the outward appearance of something different from others, i.e. helmets, leg braces, etc.

IDEA Part C

If your young child has developmental delays or disabilities, you should be aware that on Friday, October 28, 2011, new, updated Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) Part C regulations will take effect. IDEA Part C applies to the youngest of those at risk; birth to 2 years. Part C has been around since 1986, but has not been fully updated since 1999 (there was a statutory update in 2004).

Well, a lot has changed in our world since 1999. Check for specific information or topics in this side-by-side comparison of new and old text. There is a lot of text (over 900 pages); so, I suggest looking up the subject you are interested in and viewing those parts, as opposed to reading through all the regulations.

There are agencies trying to wade through these new texts and get summaries and outlines out. Here are a few websites to watch for more information: National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities (NICHCY), idea Partnership and the U.S. Department of Education.

IDEA aides over 340,000 children and infants. This federal grant program provides over 400 million dollars to State run IDEA programs. This program assists States in facilitating early intervention programs for infants and toddlers with disabilities and developmental delays. The objective is to prepare as many of these kids as possible for preschool and kindergarten to ensure a greater rate of educational success for these high needs kids.

The Scoop

If your child falls into these categories be sure to monitor the changes on the sites listed above. I also don't pretend to know much about the laws governing special needs and disabilities, etc., but the sites listed above specialize in these areas. And if your child does not fall into these categories, remember... please don't stare when you see a child who is different in some way. Over and out...

Anna

A Case of Misidentification: Ultrasound Mistake Leads to Court

A Sneak Peek

Some of the best parts of my pregnancies with Darling 1 and Darling 2 were the ultrasounds. I vividly recall each of them; a sneak peek at my tiny baby. I had two ultrasounds with each son. We were anxious to get a look at them, but mostly we wanted to know if everything was developing correctly and working properly.

At Darling 1's first ultrasound we thought everything was perfect. He was active, had all his limbs and organs and his heart and kidneys were functioning well. Then, the obstetrician told me that the there was one "soft marker" for chromosomal defects, a Calcium buildup in his heart. We were referred to a perinatal specialist obstetrician for a more detailed, second ultrasound.

At the second ultrasound, the doctor assured us all was well. She had seen at least 5 others with the same issue just that day. She said our doctor was just erring on the safe side. She explained that this phenomenon was relatively new and it was thought that perhaps these Calcium blips have always been there are now showing up due to our advanced technology. It causes no problems and often is absorbed later.

A Shattering Thought

We were so incredibly relieved to know our unborn baby was healthy, and grateful to have another look at our mover and shaker. However, the first night after the first ultrasound with the possibility that something was wrong with my baby hanging over my head was excruciating. It was so painful that I tried to forget about it; I tried to ignore the constant nagging in my brain; I tried to talk the worry away with Dear Husband; I tried to fill my mind with positive research information concerning this tiny bit of Calcium.

To no avail; I cracked in the middle of the night that night. All of my fears and concerns came rushing out, flooding the room with sadness, as if a dam had broken in the dark of night without any warning to the town below the dam. After letting all my terrors escape out of my brain, I was able to wait the two weeks until the second ultrasound that set us free. And 4.5 months later, my baby was born and was perfectly formed.

What Would You Do?

There are many opinions about what one should/would do if met with a severe disability, abnormality, medical condition or other conundrum during an ultrasound or subsequent amniocentesis. If you could or would have known something would you have decided to end the pregnancy? Would you ever choose to end a pregnancy?

I know some who felt certain about terminating a pregnancy should a disability be detected. I know others who would have never terminated a pregnancy, regardless of the prognosis or issue found. Thankfully, I never had to make this decision or even think about it. No matter which way you view it, there are no easy answers.

Large Award for Defects

I just read about a case out of Florida that awarded 4.5 million to Ana Mejia and Rodolfo Santana, the parents of a child born with severe defects, back in September. This child was born with no arms and only one leg. The couple had two ultrasounds performed during the pregnancy and were told everything was fine with the baby. They were told there was an extremely minor chance of a chromosomal disorder; the same remote chance that most people have.

When their son was born so severely disabled they were shocked and terribly upset that this information that escaped the ultrasound technician and obstetrician. They were saddened for their son who faced a life of hardship. They sued the two obstetricians they felt were responsible for this oversight and negligent in failing to provide such important information.

The couple claims they would have terminated the pregnancy had they had this information in hand after the ultrasounds. The couple sued in order to provide the care and medical procedure and prosthetics for their young son, now 3 years old.

They asked for 9 million, but the jury came back with a 4.5 million dollar award that will provide for his needs for the rest of his estimated 70 years of life, even if something happens to his parents.

A Case of Negligence

Now, perhaps you fall in the same camp as Mejia and Santana; or maybe you'd accept the fate of your child and the cost of caring for this severely disabled child and not blame the doctors for dropping the ball and neglecting to detect these very obvious defects. Whether you would have sued or not, it's clear {to me and the jury, at least} that these doctors were negligent.

As illustrated from my experience with Darling 1 and the tiny Calcium buildup in his heart, ultrasound technology is quite advanced these days, and my ultrasounds were 5.5 years and 3.5 years ago. It should be quite clear to a trained ultrasound technician whether a child is missing limbs. And even if a technician missed it, then an obstetrician reading the films should for sure catch such a grave defect.

However, this case is not for you or for me to decide. It was for the jury. And the jury found the obstetricians at fault and decided this award of damages was in order, based on the testimony heard, evidence presented and instructions provided by the court.

A Call for Humanity

I happen to find the lawsuit, the jury finding and the award in order. What surprised me were the 159 comments {OK, I didn't read all 159, but I read a number of them}. The majority of the comments were hateful, rude and disrespectful. The comments were overwhelmingly against these parents. Some comments remarked that the parents should have been aborted. Other comments made the parents out to be gold diggers, trying to win big money for themselves. And on and on, the comments attack these parents.

I was surprised and shocked by these comments. I know, I shouldn't have been, but I'm a bit Pollyanna-ish when it comes to humanity. I always expect people to treat others with more respect and kindness than they do. But it seems that the anonymity of leaving a comment online seems to bring out the worst in people.

If we could put ourselves in other's shoes and understand that we don't know what's it's like to live someone's life until we walk a mile in someone else's shoes. If you have not seen your idea of having a perfectly formed child dashed against the rocks, watched your horribly disfigured child, knowing he will never experience life like other children and realized that for the rest of your life you will be caring for this child, then you have not walked a mile in their shoes. I know I have not.

The Scoop

There are many overly-litigious lawsuits out there. I'll be the first to admit it. But a lawsuit such as this is not one of them. A lawsuit such as this will help ensure these doctors and hopefully others don't make this kind of mistake again. Over and out....

Anna

Talk About It: Estate Considerations Part II

Memories of a Christmas Past

I remember a Christmas Eve 16 years ago when my cousin had lung cancer. She was 30; I was 21. Our family had celebrated together that evening, but she had not been feeling well. She got worse as the night wore on and ended up with a high fever. She and my aunt headed to the hospital about 45 minutes away in the city where my parents live. My cousin's husband had stayed back home with their two young children. After all, Santa would be coming in the morning.

We were headed back to my parents for the night, but detoured and made a stop at the hospital to be there with my cousin and my aunt late in the night on that Christmas Eve. As we stood awkwardly chatting while the nurses put in IVs and took notes and begin pumping drugs into my cousin's veins in an attempt to lower her fever, we talked about the sugar cookies my mom and I had made that morning.

I still vividly recall this conversation. Inside my head, I was hysterical over the absurdity of the conversation about sugar cookies. The mundane chatter about the ingredients and decorating and who we took the cookies to meant nothing at that moment. My cousin was dying, and we talked about sugar cookies.

Outwardly, I smiled and made small talk and nervously laughed and joked as if it was completely normal to be sitting in a hospital room on the oncology floor at midnight on Christmas morning. My cousin, always sweet and smiling, made us feel comfortable despite how miserable she was feeling.

My cousin survived that Christmas Eve infection, but it was her last Christmas here on earth. She died the following October at the age of 31; and it broke my heart.

Life does not always go as planned.

Talking about the What Ifs

It can be depressing and stressful to dwell on the negative, but if a serious health issue crops up or a terrible freak accident occurs, it will be less stressful and frustrating if all your ducks are in a row regarding treatment, last wishes and who is to make these decisions and who has legal authority to make these decisions, etc.

Please note that each state has its own requirements, just like wills and trusts, and may use varying terms for these documents. So, be sure to check your state's requirements and terms when preparing this information.

An advance directive can include several documents: living wills, powers of attorney (both medical and financial), do not resuscitate (DNR) order and the like. (See Monday's article for definitions of these terms)

In order to determine what you want your living will and any DNR to state, you must think about your own wishes and discuss them with your spouse and/or other close family and friends. Your family and friends certainly don't have to agree with your wishes about these matters, but it will help ease the tension in the moment when and if a quick decision must be made if those closest to you understand your position and know what to expect.

Getting Your Documents Straight

It's important to understand that a living will ensures that your wishes regarding giving and withholding medical care and end-of-life decisions, but it does not set out who will pay the bills or represent your interests while you are incapacitated or at your death. For these issues you will need a durable power of attorney for finances in addition to the living will.

Of course a durable power of attorney for finances in place will not give your agent the authority to receive your medical information and records. For that, you will need a durable power of attorney for healthcare. I will discuss more on powers of attorney later this week.

The Scoop

Again, it's best to talk with an attorney about these documents and the specific requirements of your state, but if you simply can't afford attorney fees, you can run an Internet search for your state's forms and instructions. If you fill it out yourself, be sure to follow the instructions for making the documents legally binding, i.e. witness signatures and/or notarized, etc.

So, start thinking about your wishes for medical care and end-of-life decisions and then talk to your family about your thoughts on these matters. Don't forget to think about who you would like to name as your agent(s) in the powers of attorneys, as well. That is the first step in making these estate considerations. Over and out...

Anna

 

 

Supersized Everything: A Big Fat Lawsuit {On a Soapbox}

Disclaimer

I should probably start with a disclaimer of sorts. This post may step on a few folk's toes; rub some the wrong way; and ruffle a feather or two.

So, here's my disclaimer: I have been many sizes in my life, ranging from so tiny that the smallest sizes I found were too big and my mom had to take them in to well, let's just say, not small. I understand how difficult it is to lose weight having tackled that task many times, and I realize that it's sometimes out of the control of a person due to side effects from medications, illness, etc.

 

Frivolous Feud

I found this lawsuit to be ridiculous and overly litigious. This lawsuit is not really about overweight people. Look closely and you'll find it's really about a cantankerous, sour, unhealthy man.

Back in 2009, a portly gentleman, Martin Kessman, went to his favorite White Castle burger joint in Nanuet, New York, ordered his sack of aforementioned burgers and went to choose his seat. Upon noticing that there were only booths with affixed seats and no tables and chairs, he attempted to wedge himself into a booth to enjoy his meal.

Apparently, his protruding belly made this a difficult task. He left angry and embarrassed. This gentleman wrote a letter to the corporate office, demanding that White Castle do something about this issue. He said they sent back a letter saying they intended to remedy the problem and sent coupons for free burgers. They say they sent him a letter with the locations of other White Castles in the area that are equipped with tables and chairs.

Meanwhile, this poor gentleman robbed of his "right" to enjoy his White Castle along with other diners, did not stop eating the beloved steamed burgers, he simply sends his wife to get them for him.

Seeking Damages

Fast forward to September 2011, the disgruntled gentleman has filed a lawsuit against White Castle for failing to provide seating that will accommodate his rotund body. He claims it's not just about him, but also for pregnant women and disabled citizens. He has lodged his legal argument based on his alleged right to have a place to sit and enjoy his meal. Kessman contends that White Castle's seating arrangements infringe on The Americans with Disabilities Act.

So, how big is Mr. Kessman? He states that he's not humongous, weighing in at 290 pounds. The Plaintiff is asking for larger seats and an undisclosed amount of damages for his troubles. Kessman says that he can comfortably fit in other fast food restaurant seating and simply wants "to sit down like a normal person."

Drawing the Line

Sorry. I still say it's overly litigious. What if White Castle granted Mr. Kessman's request for larger seats and then a tiny person... um, I mean a height challenged person comes in and finds that the giant seats are far too large and there is much too much distance between the fixed seat and the table and this person also makes a stink about it? What then? Will White Castle and other restaurants have to have designated seating? "This area for those over 200 pounds." "These tables for those under 5 feet, 2 inches tall." "This section for persons over 6 ft tall." And so on...

And in my opinion being fat is not a disability. I think that to call it a disability is demeaning to those who truly are disabled in some way. Now, I can see where it could be a handicap. Being overweight does make it more difficult to move around, in general, and can make someone feel and look awkward and clumsy. Regardless, this scenario does not make it reasonable to sue a business.

If this lawsuit is allowed to move forward and if Kessman receives damages because he wasn't able to comfortably fit in a fast food restaurant dining booth, then what is the limit? Where do we draw the line? If we each think about it, I bet we could each come up with a way in which we were wronged that comes as close as this case does to being legit.

The Scoop

I've said before, I'll say it again. Our court systems are clogged; our state and federal budgets are stretched to the limits; there are legitimate cases where real civil wrongs have been committed that should go to court, but lawsuits such as this one, waste time and energy and already strained resources {tax dollars}. Mr. Kessman, I have a few solutions to suggest: Take your business elsewhere, go on a No-Fast-Food diet or both. I bet you'd be happier and healthier if you'd drop this whole matter.

He says he was mortified that he couldn't fit into the booth properly. Well, I wonder how he feels now with all of the media attention that he brought upon himself? Over and out...

Anna

Homegrown: An Increase in Homeschooling

Limitations

I think a person should know his or her limitations. I'm all for reaching for the stars, dreaming big, stretching one's self, learning as much as possible, going on adventures and trying my hand at a multitude of tasks, but I do know my limitations. For instance, I know that I can't climb a telephone pole {it's a long story}; I know that I'm a lousy camper; I know I'll never be a mathematician or a physicist; I know I'm no good at flipping pancakes and omelets; and I know I absolutely cannot blow up a balloon {I have no idea why though}.

I also know that I would be a terrible teacher to my Darling Boys. Of course I teach them things every day, both intentionally and unintentionally {both good and bad}, I expose them to art, culture, nature, food, and more when we go on our mini {and many} adventures, I explain words, sayings, jokes, signs, actions and more by the hour, but a homeschooling parent I'm not.

This is not to say that I think ill of those who do homeschool their kids; I don't. I just know that I am neither patient enough, nor do I have the desire to teach my Boys at home. I do think that my children have been and will be greatly rewarded by meeting, interacting with and learning from the other teachers they have and will come into contact with, whether it's in a music class or swim lessons or tee ball or preschool or nature camp or kindergarten and so on.

Choosing to Homeschool

That said, there are a number of parents who are choosing to homeschool their kiddos. There are a variety of reasons for making such a decision. Here are the top motivators for homeschooling based on several polls and studies found online {in no particular order}:

• Concerns regarding school environment {other students, drugs, safety issues, peer pressures, etc.};
• Concerns regarding the curriculum, academic environment and faculty or staff;
• Concerns regarding a child's special needs that isn't being met at school;
• A wish to teach religious instruction;
• A wish to teach in a nontraditional format; and
• Concerns regarding a child's physical or mental disability

Sources referred to: www.secularhomeschools.com & www.wikipedia.org referencing a 2007 poll by the U.S. Department of Education.

Honestly, these are great reasons. I have many of these same concerns for my children, but I still know I'm not the right teacher for them. Instead I have a school that I believe will address the issues and concerns I have about public education.

Staggering Statistics

The number of children being homeschooled has dramatically increased from 1999 to 2007 {the last time a survey with this data was collected}. In 2007, there were 1.5 million students being homeschooled in the U.S. representing 2.9% of students; in 2003 there were 1.1 million students being homeschooled, representing 2.2% of students; in 1999, there were 850,000 students being homeschooled, representing 1.7% of students.

According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, the increase from 1999 to 2007, represents a 74 % relative increase. Interestingly, the percentage of parents who reported their reason for homeschooling to be for religious instruction increased from 72% in 2003 to 83% in 2007.

    Sources: www2.ed.gov & nces.ed.gov

The Scoop

Homeschooling looks to be an increasingly popular choice. Will the number of students homeschooled continue to increase? Or is this merely a trend in educational choices? Homeschool Laws Part II is coming up this week. And stay tuned for a guest post from a mom who is about to start homeschooling her child. Over and out...

Anna

You might also like:

The Changing Seasons: Types of Schools Available to American Children

The Measure of an Education: A Look at U.S. Education System Statistics

A Plea to MN Public Educators

Birds of a Feather: Tips for Choosing the Best School for Your Child

 

Open Hearts and Minds: Embracing Diversity

Our Neighborhood

We live in a culturally rich neighborhood; there are Latino, Caucasian, African, Hispanic, Asian, and African American families living in our neighborhood. The school Darling 1 will go to starting in September is equally culturally rich. Some might see this as a negative point, but I see it as a positive.

Toleration

So often our society uses the word "toleration" when discussing diverse cultures and practices. Tolerate is defined as, enduring without repugnance; putting up with something; or allowing the existence, presence, practice or act of without prohibition or hindrance; permitting; from the Latin tolerates, meaning "to bear."

Toleration really isn't much. It shouldn't be viewed as much of an achievement on one's part. It's just a tad past putting up a fight against something or hating something or disallowing something. Tolerating is what someone does when trying to enjoy a lovely summer night while swatting at swarms of annoying mosquitoes.

I would make the argument that tolerating differences is not enough. Teaching toleration will not change our reactions and perceptions to those who are different in skin color, religion, education, backgrounds, languages, beliefs and family dynamics. Teaching our children (& ourselves) to see differences as an opportunity to learn from someone and embrace the unique and diverse experiences each of us bring to our society should be our goal.

Everyone is Different

To accomplish this, we must accept that each of us is different from other human beings in some way. A conservative relative from Texas is fond of saying, "Well, that's different!" about the more liberal and unfamiliar practices he has encountered on various trips to visit us in Minnesota. It's true; things are done differently in different neighborhoods, in different states, in different regions, across our great country and certainly beyond our borders. And this is good news.

If we were all the same in looks, in beliefs, in tastes, in ideas and in thoughts there would be no passion in life; there would be no reason for changing how we do things or when we do things or why we do things; there would be little to explore and learn; and there would be no debates or discussions. In short, we would be an awfully dull society.

Embracing Differences

How can we, as parents, be sure to teach our children to embrace diversity in every way? Here are a few ideas:

1. Keep lines of communications open with your kids; talk frequently and openly about a variety of subjects, including news stories, political issues, religions, ideas in general and history;
2. Expose your family to as many cultures as possible through neighborhood events, museums, festivals, books, music, etc.;
3. NEVER EVER tell jokes that put down or poke fun at any ethnicity, gender, socio-economic group, disability or any group of people;
4. If someone is making racial remarks in front of you and/or your child take a stand against such remarks and tell the person why you object to such statements;
5. Treat all persons with respect and honor;
6. Do not fear people who are dressed differently than you or look different than you or speak another language than you;
7. Celebrate differences;
8. Be open-minded, but don't compromise your own beliefs; and
9. Of course, meet and get to know as many people from different backgrounds as possible.

The Scoop

These are but a few suggestions about teaching your kids to embrace differences among our fellow citizens. How do you ensure your kids will grow up with open minds and open hearts and yet still be secure about their own belief systems? Over and out...

Anna

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Jury Duty v. Parental Duty; Is there an Exemption?

Then & Now

Years ago when I was a law clerk and had no children I had no pity for the prospective jurors who came in and reported that they had no child care available if selected; couldn't afford child care for their young children if chosen to serve; couldn't afford to miss work and a pay check since they were supporting a young family, etc. It's not that I didn't think it would be difficult for them to figure out, but I had a hard line approach to serving on a jury as being a civic duty.

That was then. This is now. While I still believe that if called to serve on a jury each person should do his or her best to make the schedule work, I now understand how difficult it can be for so many. First, there is the issue of child care if you have youngsters at home or coming home at noon or 2 from school or if you have a special needs child or are providing elder care, etc. Secondly, there is the issue of money; either not having the funds to pay for child care or losing money because you won't be able to work for several weeks and your employer won't pay you while you do your civic duty, which means you won't have the money you need to provide for your family.

Parental Hardships

There are a number of other circumstances that could cause a hardship for a prospective juror: breastfeeding jurors; homeschooling jurors; jurors providing elder care for a parent or grandparent; low income jurors with already meager wages; stay at home parent jurors; and jurors who have no family in the area to provide free child care during jury duty.

While these are all good, real reasons that someone should be excused from serving, they are not exceptions to serving in every court in every state. For the courts without an automatic exemption for certain personal care obligations, if you received a notice for jury duty, you would still have to find child care and/or take off work and go up to the courthouse; wait with the rest of the jury pool to see if your number is called; and if it is, then you would have to sit through voir dire; answer the questions honestly; plead your hardships; and hope you were excused from the jury, for these or any other reason.

Courts with Exemptions

There are courts, some state and some federal, that do make certain exceptions. Click here for the Family Friendly Jury Duty's list of courts and their parental exemptions to jury duty. For the most part, the federal courts tend to provide more leniencies for granting exceptions to parents who must care for their youngsters or their aged and/or infirm family members. A number of states do allow for exemptions for those with children 10 or under. Some states allow for breastfeeding women to take an exemption, as well. Approximately half of the states in the U.S. have some kind of provision exempting parents with personal care obligations from serving on a jury; only a few specifically exempt homeschooling parents.

This is not to say that if a court does not have a specific exemption for parents with personal care obligations, whether it's an elderly parent or 3 year old child or 12 year old child being homeschooled, that you won't be excused. You still could be excused for these or other completely unrelated reasons, but it won't be automatic.

Why Do We Have Juries

If you have ever wondered why we have juries and the history behind the jury system, the Family Friendly Jury Duty site provides an interesting look at juries. In my experience as a law clerk, juries were often made up of people in the early 20s, who did not have families to consider and could figure out a way to miss work, and people in their 50s and 60s, who no longer had children at home and were often retired.

The Scoop

Is this the way it should be? Is this a fair representation of one's peers? Should this burden fall to the young and the old? Maybe not, but it's a hard knock life for many right now; barely making it paycheck to paycheck; forgoing child care altogether and scraping by day to day, without the extra burden of missing work and/or having to find and pay for child care in order to ensure that justice is served in a court of law.

Jury duty was not meant to be a burden on the people. It was meant to be a part of the due process of law, ensuring a fair and just trial. Has it become a burden? Do juries ensure a fair and just trial? Should all parents with personal care obligations be automatically exempted from serving on juries in all courts? Over and out....

Anna