Hanging By a Thread

Brothers; A Close Bond {The Glue that Binds Together or the Wedge that Breaks Apart?}

A Close Bond

My boys are 2 years and 2 months apart in age. They are not twins as they sometimes say they are. And yet, they are not so different in size. They often dress alike. They share a bedroom and often a bed. They have amazingly similar and wildly different likes and dislikes. They are protective and concerned and loving towards each other. They are overly competitive and hateful and rude and bullies towards one another. They are forever linked by their DNA, their upbringing and their tight love/hate relationship.

They are brothers.

Bad Seeds or Good Apples

Brothers have been on my mind lately.

We have begun a new tradition of reading a passage from a Children's Bible at the dinner table each evening. I recently remarked on the number of brothers who despise and kill or set out to ruin the other; something that I had failed to ponder so much before giving birth to two brothers.

I recently picked up a magazine and read an excerpt from a book about brothers. There were many interesting connections, observations and theories regarding brothers and their birth order in this article, but what struck me was the conclusion that brothers are not necessarily alike, despite similar DNA and their shared parents and experiences don't mean much; it's more about their personalities, birth order and one's perception of a shared experience, which is often quite different from that of his brother.

I saw a headline that said something to the effect of "Two Brothers become dads within minutes of one another just a few doors apart at the same hospital." The article said the brothers were best friends; they saw each other quite frequently; lived near each other and were thrilled to add this experience to a list of many others.

Then, just this past week, I read something about the Boston terrorists; the brothers. And this article outlined the number of terrorists in recent and past history that were brothers; apparently, a shared closeness, such as that of a brother, can aid in shutting out the rest of the world and help them to believe their own flawed perceptions are true and right.

Of course, those shared experiences and likenesses and differences can also create amazing, beautiful, imaginative, innovative industry, ideas, art, etc. Think of the Wright Brothers, the Coen Brothers, the Marx brothers, the Gershwin Brothers, the Rockefeller Brothers, etc.

The Scoop

Perhaps, one day people will add the Berend Brothers to such a list for a great achievement in something. Or perhaps they will grow up, split up and take up very different lives, barely seeing each other during their adulthoods.

I see their similarities and the differences. I see how they comfort each other and rile each other. I see how they take up for each other and guide each other and encourage each other through difficult tasks or feelings. I see how they taunt and compete and physically strike out at each other.

I see all these things. And I think about my two sweet, stubborn, creative, boisterous, tough, sensitive boys sound asleep tangled up together in the lower bunk and I wonder will they be close and protective and loving when they are adults; will they always need each other; will they never plot to do evil; will they always understand each other?

This mother's heart prays for a loving, peaceful, steadfast relationship for these Brothers; a relationship that does no harm to each other or their families or to strangers, but one that produces only beautiful and inspiring and inventive outcomes, whatever they may be.

Brothers; there is no other relationship quite like it. Over and out....

Anna

*Coincidentally, we have a shortage of sisters in our household.... we don't have a daughter; I have a brother, but no sisters; my dear husband has only 2 brothers; no sisters.

Tradition, tradition! Tradition! The Importance of Rituals

Don't Belittle Traditions

The other day I was chatting with a preschool teacher about one of our family holiday traditions, and I mentioned that I might change part of the tradition until the boys were older because that part was not as enjoyable for me at their ages. And she said to me, "Well, aren't traditions really for us, not the kids?"

I laughed and said I agreed, but I kept thinking about that statement. And I don't agree.

Traditions are important to the kids too. It may mean something different to a 4 year-old than it does to me, but doing an activity or attending an event or going on a trip every year is important to all members of a family.

If we ever miss one of our traditional events or consider altering it a bit, the kids keep us in check. It's the kids who say, but it's our tradition to.....

In fact, it was Darling 1 who reminded us on Tuesday night that it's "our tradition" to get gingerbread cookies after going through the Macy's Santaland exhibit and getting the picture with Santa. Clearly, the cookie getting is an important part of the tradition for him.

Our Christmas Traditions

We have traditions we uphold throughout the year, but during this season, in which our family celebrates Christmas, we have quite a few traditional activities. Here are a few of them:

1. Macy's 8^th Floor Santaland
2. Holidazzle Parade
3. The Santa & Albert Holiday Play at Bachman's
4. Making Beeswax Candles at Woodlake Nature Center
5. Reindeer Day in Linden Hills
6. Candlelight and Ice New Year's Eve Celebration at Woodlake Nature Center
7. Putting up our Christmas Tree
8. Building a gingerbread house
9. Baking Christmas Cookies
10. Driving around the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights while sipping hot chocolate and listening to Christmas music
11. New PJs on Christmas Eve

And a couple I'd like to add this year...

1. Holiday Lights in the Park at Lake Phalen and
2. Night Trains at Twin Cities Model Railroads Museum

And eventually, we'll add midnight mass, when the boys are older and can make it past 10 pm. This is one I'm really looking forward to.

Not just a Repeated Activity

What's in a tradition? Why are these rituals so important to us? They're memories to call upon, stories to tell; they shape our childhoods and perhaps the childhoods of our children; they comfort us; make us laugh and cry and feel close to friends and family, even when those people can't be near us or we aren't able to experience a closely held tradition due to circumstances that can't be helped. Our traditions are a part of us.

It matters not what season it is, traditions abound; whether it's a personal tradition, a family tradition; traditional activities with a group of friends or co-workers or even a local, state or national tradition; traditions are everywhere. And yet, it's this holiday season that seems to bring out the most personal, memorable traditions.

The Scoop

It can be as simple or as complicated as putting up a Christmas tree. Is your tradition to have a real tree or an artificial tree? If it's real, do you cut it down yourself? Is it potted? If so, do you re-plant it? Do you always get a fir or pine or a short one or a fat one? These things may not be significant to you....unless it's part of your tradition.

So, while it may not feel important to all members of the family at this point in time, the traditions you create in your family ARE important. I bake cookies every year, just like my mom always did; we have stockings on Christmas morning, just like Will and I always did as kids; and we always have a big, fat real tree.

What are your family's traditions? Over and out...

Anna

The ABCs of Anna’s 38th Birthday

This started out as something that Darling 2 and I were working on when he came up with it one afternoon, and then I decided to type it out. We got part way through the alphabet and then got distracted and went on to something else. When I came back to it, I started thinking of my own birthday {Oct. 14^th}, and this is what I came up with:

A is for an Awesome Day to be Celebrated

B is for Balloons and Breakfast in Bed

C is for Cake and any other Confections that Come My Way

D is for Decking the Halls with Decorations; handmade by my Darling Boys

E is for Eternal Youth {I can hope for it, at least}

F is for Facebook Birthday Wishes

G is for Gifts

H is for "Happy Birthday!"

I is for Ice Cream

J is for Just Between Friends Conversations Over Coffee

K for Some Kid-Free Time

L is for Lattes

M is for Birthday Shoppin' Money

N is for Natural, Ageless Inner Beauty {I aspire to have this, at the very least}

O is for Getting Older and Enjoying It

P is for Pastries at Patisserie {46, that is}

Q is for Quiet Moments Alone

R is for Dinners Out at Restaurants and Red Roses

S is for Sweet Surprises

T is for Treasured Memories of Birthdays Past

U is for getting Carded; Just in Case You're Underage {Yeah right, but it happens}

V is for Vino; a Glass or Two

W is for Blowing Out Candles and Making Wishes

X is for eXtra Special Treatment

Z is for getting lots of Beauty Sleep ZZZs So Age Doesn't Matter!

What do your ABCs stand for? Over and out...

Anna

My Life...So Far {38 Lessons}

Life is a constant lesson. Just when you think you've got a hold on it and you've learned everything the world can teach you, a new saga begins. But without these adventures, trials, heartbreaks and triumphs life would be dull and lifeless; at least that's what I keep telling myself.

I have lived almost 38 years on this earth, and I've been thinking about the lessons I've learned over the years. And here they are; 39 of them:

1. Stepping out of your comfort zone is always worth it;
2. Quietly taking in your surroundings and evaluating the situation can be very helpful in future dealings;
3. Always take each opportunity that comes your way; it may not present itself ever again;
4. Surround yourself with pets; you will always feel loved and understood, even when the world doesn't get you;
5. Be true to yourself; this can be hard when your heart falls hard and leads the way {in the wrong direction};
6. Fall in love, even if it might mean getting hurt; it's worth it;
7. Stand up for what you believe is right;
8. Never compromise when it means giving up on a dream;
9. Even if dreams have to be shelved for a while, don't let them stay on the shelf so long that they become unrecognizable;
10. Never give up...not ever; not even on the darkest nights; the morning will come;
11. When one road is closed, start searching for alternate routes....there's always at least one;
12. Be your own cheerleader;
13. You can always come home...or call home; my parents are my rock, my life support, my ultimate fans;
14. My relationship with my brother is one of the most important ones in my life;
15. My sorority sisters are my sisters and true friends; I love them and when I'm with them we are still 20 and the years and miles between us are erased;
16. My husband does more for me, our family and our home than most husbands do, and I should show more appreciation than I do;
17. Brand new love is the most exciting, but old love is the most reassuring;
18. Love at first sight...or first dance...or first conversation happens;
19. Say what you mean and mean what you say;
20. Sometimes it's best to bite your tongue and leave a few things unsaid {a tough lesson for me};
21. Life can be disappointing, but whether it continues to be disappointing is up to you;
22. Loss hurts...acknowledge it....feel it...grieve and then get back to living life;
23. Take a chance...again....and again...and again;
24. Move...live in different cities... states...countries, if you can;
25. Being a mom has filled my life, but being a mom is not my whole life;
26. Be present; soak up the here and now because the days, months and years fly by;
27. Kids complicate things, bring out the best and worst, but the joy they add and lessons they teach are worth it;
28. Waiting to have kids was one of the best things we did for our marriage;
29. Never miss the chance to tell your child you love him;
30. Advocate for your children; you know them better than anyone else;
31. Always say you're sorry when you've made a mistake or said something that was hurtful;
32. Swallow your pride; you won't choke on it, but you'll end up playing the part of the pompous fool if you don't;
33. Dance anytime you have a chance....who cares what you look like {this took me a long time to realize};
34. Pray without ceasing;
35. Believe in miracles;
36. Speak from your heart; everyone has something important to say; don't be afraid to tell your story;
37. Sleep when you can;
38. Read only books you love; books that speak to you; otherwise, you're wasting your time; and one to grow on....
39. You don't have to live every minute of every day because that's exhausting, but do your best to live while you can.

I think I pretty much covered the big ones, but there are more, of course. And I the older I get the more transparent the life lessons become. What has life taught you? Over and out...

Anna

Not Jen, not Jenny...just Jennifer {She was my Friend}

1Ls

I got there early so that I could watch the others come in. These others would be my classmates for the next three years; I wanted to guess which ones would be my friends.

One girl came in and sat a few rows down from me. She looked nervous; as I imagine we all did. I instantly liked her though, and I decided she would be my friend.

In law school the 1^st year class is divided into sections, and the students in those sections are rarely apart, having the exact same schedule for the whole first year. Each section becomes very close for the whole of law school. When my section number was called to go to the front of the auditorium to get our schedules, etc. this girl, this would-be friend of mine, got up too.

Inseparable Friends

Little did I know then that not only would she be my friend, she would be my very best friend for those very intense years of our lives. We were inseparable; we studied together, laughed together, cried together, encouraged each other, supported each other, and laughed and cried some more. Her friendship is one of the reasons I got through law school.

I once got her a throw pillow for Christmas that said, "It's the friends you can call at 2 a.m. that really matter" and that's how it was with us.

But then, we graduated, took and passed the bar, and I went off to a Judicial Clerkship in IA and she began her career as a family law attorney in OK. I thought of her often, saw her once and spoke on the phone a couple of times. There were many times I started to pick up the phone and try to find her number and call her, but didn't. The distance between the years and our lives made me shy and uncertain; perhaps she never thought of me; perhaps she didn't miss me.

Loss

Last night, I picked up my Oklahoma Bar Journal that I had received sometime last week and started at the back of the volume; for that is where the important information about fellow OK lawyers is printed, the honors, the promotions and the deaths.

As I skimmed through the names, there it was, Jennifer Lee Thompson. The air was sucked out of me for a second, as I quickly flipped the page to be sure I was seeing it correctly. I couldn't read the words properly but my eyes perceptively picked out enough of them to know the awful truth. Jennifer passed away last month.

I'm heartbroken. I haven't seen her or talked to her in about 11 years, but nonetheless she was one of the best friends I have ever had or probably ever will have, even if it was just for those 3 years.

I'm heartbroken that I let all those years stack up thinking that one day I would talk to her; I would see her again. Now, one day will never come.

Being There

Ten days separated our birthdays. We were both sassy, passionate, devoted and determined. We lived just a short drive from each other for those 3 years of law school; it was a drive we each knew well.

I once drove over in the middle night with a cell phone and flashlight in hand after she had called me in tears certain that something or someone was outside her door. I'm not brave in the dark, late at night, or when there is a chance of a prowler seeking to do harm, but her fear made me courageous for her sake; it was a cricket stuck in her door.

The two of us, along with my two cats, huddled under her couch as a tornado ripped through the Oklahoma City area in May of 1999, waiting, listening, praying. We were brave together that time.

When I got married on December 26, 1998, she left her parents' house on Christmas night to stay with me that night before my wedding, knowing I'd be nervous. She did my nails and we laughed the nerves away. On the day of the wedding, she was beside me every minute of the day until I walked down the aisle, again knowing I'd be a nervous wreck. She kept the annoying people away from me, sent her mom to get me lunch and deliver it to the church and held my hand. She was brave for me that time.

One year, when I lamented the fact that my birthday was going to be the worst ever because it was a weekday, Will couldn't drive the 2 hours to see me because he'd be working and I had no plans, Jennifer and another friend hatched a plan sending me on an early morning errand to pick up the other friend and take her to class, even though I didn't have to be in class until hours later, never mind it was my birthday and that I liked to sleep. What I didn't know is that while I was out picking up and dropping off, Jennifer was in my apartment decorating it; it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen when I opened my door.

That is true friendship; being there for each other. I wasn't there for her in the end. I am heartbroken.

For years, I've had a foreboding dread of reading those obituary pages, fearing that one day I would find her name listed. Now, I have. I don't know where this feeling came from, but it was something I couldn't shake.

That premonition alone should have been enough for me to pick up the phone, but I didn't. This is a mistake I hope to never make again.

Jennifer, you shall forever be one of my bright spots on my life's canvas. I shed tears for you last night, and I got on my treadmill to run from the pain and sadness I was feeling. But then, as tears streamed down my cheeks, I remembered the time that you fell off your treadmill and how we laughed as you recounted the story to me as I smeared ointment on your bloody knees. Remember how you made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone what had happened to you?

Anna

 *um, the photo. Well, it's circa late 1997, and I was in costume - there's a mask on the top of my head making my hair look like that. Jennifer refused to go in costume - look how pretty she is.

 

5 Things You Should Know {What a Woman Wants...What a Woman Needs}

Romance and luxury and being treated like a queen are all very nice indeed, but I'll tell you what a woman really wants, {and by woman I mean a woman with a spouse and offspring and probably a few pets}.

1. Privacy...in the bathroom, which means the door closed without any little darlings on the other side banging, talking, whining or crying and without little pudgy fingers and/or toes sticking out from under the door or little toys being shoved under the door.
2. Quiet....at least 1 hour of peace and quiet during some point of the day or night to reflect on something very important or of absolute unimportance, file her nails, read a magazine, go for a run, walk up and down every aisle at {Super} Target at 9 p.m. {or is that just me?} or simply sprawl out on the couch and stare at the ceiling without any noise of any kind filling her ears or any utterance coming from her mouth.
3. Girls' Night Out...On a regular basis...with friends that she can really let her hair down with and laugh and cry, talk and listen and have a drink and eat chocolate with.
4. Coffee {or tea or cocoa or anything hot}...An uninterrupted cuppa joe that stays warm all the way to the last drop and doesn't have to be heated up in the microwave 3 different times because of interruptions, distractions and misplacement.
5. A Happy, Grateful Family...where the children always say "thank you" and "please" and the husband says, "You're such an amazing woman!" even though she hasn't had a shower, brushed her teeth or changed out of her pajamas and it's 7 p.m.; and he recognizes when she's in need of an hour of quiet solitude or a night on the town with her friends and feeds the kids, bathes them, puts them to bed, washes the dishes, straightens the house up and doesn't grumble once about any of it.

That, my friend, is what a woman wants. And if a woman gets all of these things on a regular basis, why she'll be pretty darn happy, calm and cool. Too much to ask for? I think not.

And if you thought I was going to say anything about what goes on in the bedroom, then you don't really know women at all. Over and out...

Anna

 

Jazz: The Brightest of Eyes {An Obituary}

One morning back in the late summer of 1995, I woke up determined to get a kitten of my own on that day. I had just started my junior year of college. I was living in a tiny efficiency apartment. It felt empty without a cat. I had never in my life been without a cat until I left home to start college. Two years without feline companionship was enough for me.

I quickly realized it was a holiday; Labor Day. The humane society was closed. No, I couldn't possibly wait one day more. My friend, Julie, and I found a small pet store that was open. We were on a mission.

There was one kitten left from a litter. He was completely black with just a whisper of white hair on his chest and in his armpits. He had brilliantly shining golden eyes that didn't miss a thing; they never did. He was small, long-bodied and scrawny with giant ears and a extra long tail. He was almost two months old.

He was mine. I knew it immediately.

He was spirited from the git-go; pushing his head through the cardboard box they gave me to transport him home. He established right away that he would not be held back; his strong will would prevail.

He may have been scrawny and terrified of missing a meal, as if food had been withheld from him at some point in his short life, but he was always sleek and beautiful.

I named him Jazz. Over time, Jazz was also Joe, Joby, Jazzy Joe, Jazzbo and eventually yaz by the baby boys.

My Jazzy was a complicated soul. He was a difficult kitten; erratic and moody. Jazz had the broadest range of emotions of any cat I've ever known, and I've known a lot of cats. But, he was also sweet and cuddly. I knew with patience, love, tender care and companionship he would grow into a fine cat.

And I was right.

He was smart; very smart. He knew how to get what he wanted and to communicate his wishes to the "dumb humans" in his life.

One night while I sat studying, Jazz found a scrap of discarded paper that I had crumpled into a ball on the floor. He brought it to me and dropped it into my lap, standing and waiting for me to act. I instinctively threw the paper for him to chase.

I was surprised when he brought the paper back to me and dropped it in my lap again. This became our game. It was easy for me to throw paper balls for him while I studied and he got to run and chase and play.

It became the norm to find balls of crumpled paper under the couch, the fridge, the bed and in piles on the floor. This went on for the rest of college, all of law school and beyond.

Not long after I got Jazz, my sorority big sis gave me a little plush red devil for Halloween. Jazz immediately befriended that red devil. He wrestled him, slept and cuddled up with him and dragged him around the apartment. Red devil was almost as big as Jazz back then. He loved that red devil.

Eventually, red devil lost his cape, his leather-looking boots, his plastic pitchfork and the stuffing from his feet, but Jazz never stopped loving his friend. Until the very end, Jazz carried his red devil around when he was lonesome or bored or worried about something. His little red buddy was a constant comfort for him.

There are so many interesting, poignant stories about Jazz that I will treasure always.

Jazz grew and grew and grew. He was a big, fat, sleek cat. So beautiful; so faithful; so cuddly. He loved his cat sister and brother, teaching them the rules of the house and was always watchful for their safety. He tolerated the dogs joining the family and grew to love them too; sometimes even sleeping on his dog sister, Abby. Jazz was endlessly patient with the human baby boy that came along when he was 11 and accepting of the second baby boy when he was 13.

He slept on me in my bed most of the nights of his life. He loved human contact, especially with me, his mommy. He was my first baby.

They say that cats have nine lives. Well, Jazz was out to prove it. He came close to death numerous times starting with a bad reaction to the drugs when he was neutered; then there were several bad urinary tract infections; then a stroke four and half years ago.

I thought I had lost him then. After a middle of the night emergency vet visit and a $500 vet bill, he came home unable to walk, but without any answers from the vet. I did two things I do well. I prayed and I got online searching for answers. I tearfully begged him to hang on; and he did. I was not ready to let go yet.

I deduced he'd had a stroke. My research assured me he could recover. I fed him water and chicken broth with a baby medicine syringe for days; I changed his bedding several times a day, as he was unable to stand. Little by little he came back to me. Within two weeks, he was himself again.

Then, in the last year, he began to lose weight; he got wobblier and wobblier; and a bit leaky. But his eyes were as bright as ever. He was still determined.

Our new vet said he'd probably have another stroke; one worse than before. Well, he did. Last night he suffered a stroke, rendering him without the use of his limbs. He spent his last hours on his favorite blanket and with red devil next to him; those eyes burned bright until his last breath.

Jazz went to be with God and joined our St. Bernard, Benjamin, in heaven the morning of June 5, 2012. He was just shy of 17 years old. He lived a good life. He lived and died on his terms; that's just how he did things.

We are heartbroken for our loss, but relieved that he is no longer in pain; watching him suffer was too much. He will always be my first baby, and will be remembered as the smartest, most devoted cat to my knowledge.

A few weeks ago, Jazz started sleeping against my head or next to my face on my shoulder. It seemed he couldn't get close enough to me. I think he knew his time was limited. And deep down inside I did too.

Anna

Mortality and Friendship

Mortality has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. There's nothing that puts life's bumps and bruises in perspective like a real medical scare.

We go along complaining about being tired or busy or little nuisances like allergies or colds, but there are so many who must contemplate a scary, life-changing prognosis every day.

People are living longer than ever before. We have incredible modern medicine at our fingertips. Those factors should be a comfort, but it's not enough when I'm feeling afraid for a friend facing medical questions.

While she would have us, her friends, believe it's not a big deal and she's not worried and everything is going to be fine {and I believe she'll be fine too}, it's our job to hold her hand, pray for her, listen to her and worry about her. 

In fact, she would probably say I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I should by writing about it, but I love her dearly and I'm very concerned for her. I know what support there is out in the blogosphere; I know the amazing power of prayer; and I know I can count on you to pray for her and her family; sending positive energy to her in whatever way you communicate with God.

As we age, we will be faced with mortality many times over and we will continue to hold on to each other through these life events. These little hiccups make you appreciate your friends and those times you get to spend with them even more. Our friends are what make the rough patches bearable.

I had decided to stop posting on the weekends, but on Monday morning my friend will be heading to the hospital for a medical procedure that will give her more answers. So, please do say a prayer for her. And while you're at it, give one of your friends a call or send an email and say hi and let her know you care. Over and out...

Anna

 

Be a Friend. {On a Soapbox}

Be a Friend.

That's what she wrote. That's not what she meant to type, but that's what it said when she hit the send button. What she had meant to say was "Feel free to bring a friend," but perhaps unconsciously she was hoping her friends would "be a friend."

Later, she saw her mistake, but it was too take to take it back, and after all, the email had been sent to, well, friends. So, surely they wouldn't take offense.

The person who sent this email was my mother-in-law. She was sending an email explaining that they would be getting an evite for a Norwex party that she was hosting for me while I was in town. Whether it was her slip of "Be a Friend" or something else, her party had the best turn out I've had.

We all had a good laugh when she explained her mistake to the small crowd of her friends who had shown their support for her and for me by being at the party and "being a friend."

My mother-in-law has a great number of friends because she is a good friend, she is supportive and she is involved; and when she asked her friends to come hear her daughter-in-law deliver her spiel on this new venture, they came.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our lives and ourselves that we forget to just "be a friend." And yet, at the end of the day when we reflect on our lives it will be the relationships with friends and family that will mean the most to us.

I know I can be guilty of getting too wrapped up in work, home, worry and kids to remember to just be a friend when one is in need. Yet, my intention is to be a {good} friend.

My Mom's Group that started out as my ECFE {Early Childhood Family Education} group when our first born were just a month or two old are really good about bringing out the meal brigade when there is a new baby, surgery, even at the death of a giant beloved St. Bernard.

That's what we do. That's our way of being a friend. We're all busy, but we know how much a tasty, already prepared meal can mean to a busy family who is now going through an adjustment of some sort. We've been doing this since Baby #2 began to make an appearance in each of our families and we have continued this practice through the years for a variety of reasons.

Just a few months ago, when they began to appear at my doorstep with meals and sympathy after our dear St. Bernard, Benjamin, passed away, it brought tears to my eyes and warmed my heart. They were there to "be a friend."

It was a rough time for us in late November when Ben died through early January. I wrote about these dark black days in late December. One of my dear friends read it here. Without a word about why she was doing this, she dropped by with a Big Loaf of Chocolate Babka.

She stood there at my door with big smile offering the chocolate bread, and I knew she had read the post and was worried about me. I hugged her and thanked her {from the bottom of my heart}. I also knew that she had returned from a trip the night before and it was just a few days before Christmas; she was busy, but she was there to "be a friend." And that meant so much to me.

That's all it takes. Just showing up, being there, taking a hand, offering a smile and a hug, simply standing alongside your friends. My mother-in-law's line might have been a mistake, but I love the message. So, today I'm on a Soapbox challenging you all to "Be a Friend."

Your friendly, supportive gesture might be tiny to you, but may mean the world to your friend. It may be a nugget that stays forever with that friend as a reminder that she or he is not alone. Never under estimate the power of "being a friend." Over and out...

Anna

Standing Still While Time Passes in a Blur: Laws of Time & People

On my recent trip to Texas I have come up with a few "laws" concerning the passage of time and its effect on people. As I've mentioned in the past, Texas is my homeland; where my people reside. I was fortunate enough to have the chance to visit with family, both young and old, by blood and by marriage, as well as see friends from college; even more importantly, my sorority sisters.

I have known these people at most for my entire life and least for several decades. I am not a stranger to them and they are certainly not unfamiliar to me. These are people I have shared my life with, the good times and bad times. There have been many laughs and just as many tears. These are some of the most important people in my life.

As time marches on, much seems to stand still. We all move along the continuum of time entering new phases of life as we leave other stages behind, and yet some things just never change. Here are the observations I've made on the "Laws of People and Time":

1. People don't really change; time softens the hard edges or chisels deep, sharp chasms into the soul; and sometimes life does both at various times;
2. Even though time, life {and kids} have long since ravaged our young, svelte, wrinkle free bodies, we still look the same to each other;
3. Those close knit friendships forged during those formative college years are friends for life;
4. No matter how old you are, you are always your mom's child;
5. Old wounds can be as raw as when the dagger first struck if flooded with old memories;
6. Family ties don't have to be broken by divorce;
7. We are products of our roots, surroundings and experiences;
8. Our love for such friends and family is not diminished by time, distance or circumstances, but remains for a lifetime.

We can't stop time from ticking away second by second, minute by minute, day by day, or year by year, but that's alright because there are some things that time can't take away or ever change. These things simply define who we are, strive to be or have overcome.

Clearly, I'm still feeling nostalgic after my trip to Texas. Over and out...

Anna