Motherly Law

Motherly Advice: Mommy, as Beautiful as a Princess

Out of the mouths of babes...

The other day I was folding laundry and listening to Christmas music. As I was folding a big quilt and had it draped around me as I slowly swayed to the carol streaming on Pandora, Darling 2 said to me with a big grin on his face, "Mommy, you look like a Princess!"

Oh, talk about melting my heart. Not many others, if any at all, would think such a thing about me ever, much less at that moment in the late afternoon of a weekday wearing a sweater and jeans with an old quilt draped around me like a big princess-y skirt. But Darling 2 meant it; and what he was thinking of was Belle, Cinderella, Snow White and the other Disney princesses, who are beautiful to him.

Any time I wear a skirt or a dress or big, sparkly jewelry my Boys tell me how pretty I am. In their child eyes, there is nothing more beautiful than the mommy. Isn't it amazing how strong the love and bonds are between a mother and child. That adoration acts like rose colored glasses.

They don't see the bags under your eyes or the wrinkles staking claim across your forehead or around the corners of your mouth or the crazy gray hairs sprouting from your scalp or the extra pounds on your hips. They see the person who reassures them when they're worried, nourishes them when hungry, makes them laugh, holds their hands, reads their favorite stories and lavishes hugs, kisses and cuddles on them every day.

So often, the mom is missing from the family photo albums. Perhaps she feels too fat or doesn't have makeup on or her hair is a mess or she's wearing sweats or she's just always the one taking the photos. What the mom doesn't realize is how important photos of her are to her children, both now and later. If God forbid, the mom was suddenly taken from the family, those photos would become the children's most treasured belongings.

It can certainly mean swallowing my pride sometimes, but I have begun allowing my boys to snap photos of me with them and alone. Of course, I have also figured out how to tilt my head and smile prettily when they start aiming the camera my direction. Another advantage I have that my mother didn't have is the digital aspect, which means I can delete the most dreadful shots. My mother just used the rip up the photo and dispose of the evidence approach when she didn't like it a photo of herself.

So, as the holidays approach be sure to put yourself in front of the lens and get some sweet shots of you and your kiddos and spouse. If you don't allow your child to handle your camera, consider getting a disposable version or cheap digital point and shoot for their use. And never underestimate what your kids see when they look at you, their mommy; more beautiful than all the {Disney} princesses in the world. Over and out...

Anna

Love: Friday Night

We LOVE the pizza and the chocolate chip cookies and the photo booth at Pizzeria Lola. We come here to celebrate happy things. Tonight we celebrated making it through the first week of Kindergarten.

Things are going well with school; he is getting more comfortable every day; and today he got a classroom recognition for being a friend to a fellow classmate who was sad today. Yay!

 

*If you live in the Twin Cities and haven't been to Pizzeria Lola, get ye there fast! It's the best! And clearly this is not our first time in their photo booth.

Over and out...

Anna

Holding on Tight: What to Do if Separated from Your Child

The Zoo

Last week, the Darlings and I visited Como Zoo in St. Paul. We don't often go to this zoo. I was completely surprised to find that it was absolutely packed with visitors. To begin with, the parking lots were full and we had to park a million miles away. This should have been my first tip off, but we relentlessly continued on our quest to get to the gate. Secondly, the fact that this zoo is essentially free, with a suggested donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children, should have made me realize this zoo would be chock full of people on any warm, sunny, summer day, but it didn't. Thirdly, connected to one side of the zoo is a small amusement park for little tikes, which was also brimming with people.

We did finally make it to the doors. Once inside, we began to navigate our way through the animal enclosures. The exhibits inside buildings were nearly impossible to wield my giant double stroller through and around all the people clambering to get a look at the polar bears or the seals or other creatures, especially considering there was a giant, soundly-sleeping 2.5 year old tucked inside the stroller {He was asleep before we even got to a parking spot despite being very excited to go to a new zoo. That's how long it took for us to wind through the various parking lots looking for a spot, and then walk several miles, or at least it felt like it, to the zoo}

Somehow we made it through the throngs of people and managed to see everything and stick together even after Darling 2 woke up and both boys wanted to walk along with me. Fortunately, my Darlings are very watchful and cautious and want to hold my hand in situations such as this, especially Darling 1.

Losing Sight

If Darling 1 ever thinks he has been separated from me, he begins scanning the people looking for me, calling out for mommy; and I am constantly watching the two of them if they are loose and playing at the park or frolicking nearby or walking along through an exhibit area, but even then sometimes they can slip from my view.

In those few seconds that I can't see them, my heart rate quickens and my voice gets a tad bit shrill as I call out for my boy. And then, all is well again, as my eyes lock onto their eyes again. But the "what ifs" are terrifying in that scenario. I don't like to dwell on those at all.

And yet, here we are smack in the middle of summer; the time for family outings and trips to baseball games, the State Fair, amusement parks, tourist attractions, large cities, remote areas, airports, etc. All of these places are filled with strangers; some with a great number of strangers and others with just few strangers. Either way, with young kids on the loose, this could be a recipe for disaster if you don't talk to your children about the dangers of strangers and come up with a family plan for dealing with such situations.

Tips for What to Do if Separated

First of all, these tips from National Center for Missing and Exploited Children are quite helpful if your child is suddenly missing:

• If your child is missing from home, search the house checking closets, piles of laundry, in and under beds, inside large appliances, and inside vehicles, including trunks—wherever a child may crawl or hide. {I would add check any and all areas with standing water; pools, spas, beaches, fountains, etc. first.}
• If you still cannot find your child, immediately call your local law enforcement agency.
• If your child disappears in a store, notify the store manager or security office. Then immediately call your local law-enforcement agency. Many stores have a Code Adam plan of action— if a child is missing in the store, employees immediately mobilize to look for the missing child.
• When you call law enforcement, provide your child's name, date of birth, height, weight, and any other unique identifiers such as eyeglasses and braces. Tell them when you noticed that your child was missing and what clothing he or she was wearing.
• Request that your child's name and identifying information be immediately entered into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) Missing Person File.
• After you have reported your child missing to law enforcement, call the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) on our toll-free telephone number: 1-800-THE-LOST).

Source: Missing Kids

Additionally, Kiwi Magazine offers some great tips for what to tell your 4 to 5 year olds about what to do if they get separated from the family:

• "Don't help an adult you don't know." Yes, you should teach your child to be polite and friendly, but well-meaning adults don't ask kids to help them do anything. Well-meaning adults know better, and if they truly need help, they will ask another adult.

   

• "If you're lost, don't try to find me." Kids will typically freak out and keep moving, wandering and looking for their parents if they become lost or separated. It's important to teach your child to stop moving and stay in one place. If a stranger offers to help, your child should refuse and ask the person to get a police officer or security guard to come and help instead.

Source: Kiwi Magazine Online

Here are some of my own tips:

• If you have more than one child, dress them in the same colored shirts and pants or shorts, this way you will have only one color to look for in the crowd of kids on the park, etc. Also, it's helpful if you also wear the color the kids are wearing so your kids can easily remember what color to look for when trying to spot you in a crowd of parents. Bright or unique colors are best.
• Snap a photo of your kiddos with your cell phone camera or other camera if you are taking it along too. This way, if a child turns up missing, you will have a very current photo of your child with the same clothing he was wearing at the time.
• Write your cell phone number on your child's arm in an area that won't be rubbed off from sweat, hand-washing or sunscreen application. This way, if your child is too young to have your cell phone number memorized, he can still show a police officer or other authority the phone number to call.
• Order temporary tattoos to be applied to your child any time you go out to places where you and your child might become separated. These tattoos can be ordered blank and information written on them or ordered with pre-printed information on them. You can even order some with QRs that can be scanned with smartphones to provide additional information about your child.
• Order an ID bracelet for your child to wear with the important contact information on it. You can order reusable, more permanent bracelets from Vital ID or temporary, disposable wristbands from Mabel's Labels. Both can be customized to include not only contact information, but also relevant medical information, such as food allergies, etc.
• Talk to your kids over and over about stranger dangers and the importance of sticking together when in public. Don't try to scare them, but be frank with them about the dangers.
• I once read that kids don't realize that their parents can't see them if they wander to the next aisle or on the other side of a large exhibit, etc. So, the parent should remind the child, "If you can't see me, then I can't see you." The child will then be cognizant of staying near enough to see the parent. I try to use those words with my boys.
• My friend tells her kids if they become lost to look for another mom with kids to ask to get help. She reasons that another mom is probably not going to harm her child, but will sympathize with the situation and know to contact authorities right away. I think this is reasonable advice.

The Scoop

This subject of lost or missing kids is a scary one, and it's not my intention to frighten you at all. I intend to inform you only and discuss ideas of prevention. If you have a plan of action if becoming separated; if you have discussed this issues; if you plan ahead to avoid such a scenario, it's more likely that you and your kids won't be separated when out and about.

What tips do you have about playing it safe and staying together in public? Over and out...

Anna

 

Life After Death: Your Online Digital Legacy

On Death & Dying

By the sound of the posts this week, I'm dwelling on death lately. I'm really not any more than my over-active, paranoid brain usually thinks about what would happen if...{fill-in-the-blank with any horribly sad newspaper headline ending in "leaving behind a devoted husband, two small boys, two giant dogs and three aging cats."} Regardless, these issues of estate planning must be attended to during our active lives to make everything easier on those who we leave behind if....

An Online Presence

I can count on one hand my friends and family members who don't have at least a Facebook account. Yet most have Facebook, Twitter, maybe an old MySpace page, a YouTube account, a blog {or two}, a Flickr or Tumblr account, a LinkedIn page and/or a host of lesser known social media networking sites. And I am going to venture a guess that just about everyone in this country has an email address; even my 87 year old grandma checks and sends email daily. Many people have e-trade accounts with passwords that change frequently or simply do all of their banking and bill paying online, etc. The list of online accounts is endless. We are one big online community.

To which of these groups do you belong? Do you have your accounts and passwords written down somewhere safe? Does your spouse or significant other, parent, child, friend or sibling know your passwords to these accounts? Your answer is probably no. More than likely you keep the passwords in your head and have shared them with no one.

So, what happens if you go to bed and don't wake up in the morning; or on the way home from work, your car is struck and you die? What will happen to your online digital legacy? Will your pages and accounts remain open and online? What do you want to happen to your blog(s) or other online writings, photos, etc.?

Last Digital Wishes

These are issues that have not traditionally been addressed when getting your estate plan in order, but these are now important issues if you have any online accounts. You might want information and photos from Flickr, Tumblr, YouTube, a blog, Facebook, etc. to remain visible and public for friends and family to continue to view, remember, feel close and mourn, but perhaps, you want an investment account, LinkedIn and a PayPal account closed.

On the flip side, if you don't record your wishes regarding your digital legacies, your family might think they should remove all online accounts, pages, etc. immediately. Yet, friends and family, especially those across the miles, may feel doubly sad and lost, losing all written and photographic memories of your times and experiences together.

Regardless of what you wish to be done with your accounts, you must record the information, share it with someone or use a service that will store, back up, secure, get rid of and/or notify loved ones with pre-written letters or videos, etc.

There are several services that have multiple levels with various price points depending on what services and the number of accounts you have. Here are a few to check out: Legacy Locker and Entrustet.

The Digital Afterlife Experts

Evan Carroll and John Romano run the site The Digital Beyond that is dedicated to all things regarding online digital legacies. They recommend naming a digital executor to handle all of your online information. A digital executor must understand the technology involved and that may not be the executor of your estate. Carroll and Romano further suggest making an inventory of the name of the account, passwords, etc. and what you want done with each of the accounts. You could use my free Financial and Legal Documents Records Book download for this purpose.

Terms of Use and Privacy Policies Regarding Death

It's important to review the terms of the online platforms you use to ensure your directions to your digital executor or other pre-designated arrangement upon your death do not violate the Terms of Use of Privacy Policies. For instance, you may not be able to transfer some online accounts to another person.

Twitter and Facebook do have policies handling the death of a site participant, which have some good points and are lacking in other ways. Facebook apparently allows for a memorialized page, but based on the number of comments from distraught family members of deceased Facebook users whose profiles have suddenly been removed or locked, Facebook needs to revisit its policy terms on this subject. The Digital Beyond lists other sites and their policies here.

Other Resources

This is a developing area of information. In the last few months there have been a number of articles written about this topic:

After Death, Protecting Your 'Digital Afterlife'

Digital Estate Planning: The Importance Of Giving Access To Online Accounts

Cyberspace When You're Dead 

2011 is Heating Up!

If you are concerned about digital information left on computers, but not online, such as financial records, photos, articles, drafts of literary or scholarly works, etc. read this article from the Wisconsin Lawyer by Nathan J. Dosch and Joseph W. Boucher where they address property rights, transferability, copyright issues and other matters concerning digital records stored on a deceased computer.

The Scoop

All in all, the moral of the story when it comes to estate planning is to, well...plan ahead. So, be prudent in how and where you list account numbers, passwords, user names and PINs, but do provide an inventory whether it's a list left with your attorney, in a Financial & Legal Records Book like the one in yesterday's post or through an online service, as referenced above.

It's a relatively simple process, but it does take time to keep it up-to-date and involves more than a pen and a stack of post-it notes stuck around the house {which is my preferred method of reminders and bits of important information}. Although 1 or 2 post-it notes left in strategic locations reminding you to take care of your online digital legacies is probably a good idea. Over and out...

Anna

Fully Exposed: New Photos of the {Motherly Law} Family

In the Beginning...

When I launched Motherly Law I was not quite ready to be fully exposed to the world. I contemplated being totally anonymous, but didn't think that would actually work once I became an overnight blogging superstar and the interview requests started rolling in and readers began asking for my autograph. Then, I decided I would involve my Darling Boys in the blog by using many of the photos they take, both random shots and staged photos.

Having made this decision I searched for photos of me taken by the Darling Boys. There were some of my full face, usually at home, without any makeup on and wearing a hat {I'm from Texas. I don't go out without makeup on – Ever!}, but then I found the one of part of my face wearing a black shirt {which happens more often than not… I mean the black part, not the wearing of a shirt. I always wear a shirt.} sitting against the red chair. I really liked that photo, even though only some of my features were shown in the photo. No, I especially liked that photo because my full visage was not shown. So, I used it. And no one seemed to make much of an issue out of it except when I met someone in real life and they didn't recognize me because they had never seen my whole face.

A Year Under My Belt

I have been blogging, tweeting, meeting fellow social media mavens and exposing my thoughts and feelings all over the Internet for almost a year now. I decided it was time to lift the veil of mystery. I found a great duo, two sisters, at erin and i photo to do our family shoot. So, now instead of a photo like the one above {camera strategically covering my face} you see a photo of my whole, radiant countenance. They were lovely and I wrote all about our experience with them at the shoot which you can read here.

The Photos

Well, our photos are ready now and last week I uploaded my new photo in all of my Motherly Law locations. Many of you were kind enough to take notice and let me know that you liked the photo. I do appreciate your thoughtfulness as I am never too fond of any photos of myself.

I want to share a few more photos from our session with Erin and Andi:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aren't the Darling Boys just scrumptious? Absolute charmers; even the tall one!

The Scoop

Starting next week, you can find an ad for erin and i photo on the right sidebar that you will be able to click through to their site. Please take a minute to peruse their site now and remember them the next time you need to update the photos in Grandma's picture frames.

On Wednesday, I will have a guest post for you. Be sure to tune in for that. It's a great post and an important topic. Over and out...

Anna

You might also like:

New York in Photos

Happy Thanksgiving!

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Updating the Family Album: a sister act & a Green Camera-Dwelling Bug Named George

If you are a personal friend, business associate or family member you may have noticed that you did not receive a Christmas card from us. No, it was not a slight to you. No, your card was not lost in the mail. I simply did not get around to doing cards…at least not yet. It wasn't just a matter of time though. I don't have any family photos from the year of 2010. And when the kids are 2 and 4 years old, a year makes a big difference.

Back in December I posted a note on Facebook and Twitter asking about photographers willing to barter: photo shoot/photos for advertising. Several people responded with suggestions of photographers to contact. One such suggestion was erin and i photo.

I looked at their portfolio at www.erinandiphoto.com {loved the photos} and contacted them. They were willing to work with me, and we set a date of January 8^th for our shoot. Today was the day. We met Erin and Andi at the Mill City Museum in Minneapolis this afternoon.

Erin held the camera and Andi wrangled the shy, uncooperative, then show-off, uncooperative Darlings. They were great with the Darling Boys. Erin and Andi were so friendly and instantly put us all at ease. Darling 2 was not sure about the whole thing when we got there, but by the time he had his coat off and saw the big camera he was all smiles; mama's little charmer. It took Darling 1, who happened to be in a crabby mood anyway, a bit longer to warm up. Undeterred, Andi worked her magic with bunny ears, letting him in on "secrets" about the bug that lives in Erin's camera (according to highly imaginative Darling 1, it's a green bug named George), tickling her sister, etc. Her efforts were worth it. Darling 1 finally came around and flashed some award-winning smiles for Erin.

While DH & I were not nearly as difficult to work with, the duo was equally as impressive shooting our photos together and separately. They even indulged my need to change accessories for different looks. It felt like we were hanging out with old friends and the whole family had a great time. We will definitely be contacting Erin and Andi again in the future.

Erin and Andi have been shooting photos together for 7 years now, but they have always been together; they are sisters. But not only are they sisters and have a photography business together, in talking to them today I found out they also work together at a law firm during the week. Clearly, these ladies enjoy each other's company and know each other well, and it shows too. They specialize in newborns, families, weddings and seniors. Erin and Andi usually shoot outside for the natural light, but have found other indoor locations with ample natural light in order to do shoots on days like today when it's 8 degrees outside. You can find them at www.erinandiphoto.com. Starting in February, you will also find erin and I photo on the right side bar here at Motherly Law in ad form.

We turned the tables on them today and Darling 2 and I took a few photos of Erin and Andi. They were good sports as you can see. I'm not sure I have ever enjoyed a photo shoot as much as I did today. Loved these two ladies!

About the lack of any Christmas card….I have started a family newsletter to be delivered via email. I haven't finished it, but in a week we'll have a family photo so maybe I'll get it finished then. Or maybe by the time I finish the family newsletter it will be a Valentines' Day card. Either way, stay tuned right here because I will be changing my profile photo for one that Erin and Andi took; assuming I like any of photos of me, which is a tall order. And I plan to profile a few other pictures too.

Over and out…

Anna

 

 

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

A winter scene for those of you in warmer climates.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 We are getting 1 to 2 inches of snow per hour this morning. It started last night, and we have about 7 to 9 inches right now. We already had about 5 inches on the ground.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As of this morning, we had gotten 16.9 inches of snow for this season. We are expecting to get a total 16 inches, or 8 or so more inches today with this storm.

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's definitely a snow day. Thank God for DH and his snowblower. This will be my view for the day. Over and out... Anna

Don’t Take It Personally: Tips for Making Social Media Sites Secure Places

Bad Attitude

I've been in a snit for the last several days, which by definition is "a state of agitated irritation." I don't really have any precise reason for this agitated irritation. I just am. In fact, I'm even irritated about being irritated. This state of mind makes me a lousy parent and spouse, and causes me to want to label these last few days with #fail. For you non-Twitter tweeps, # is Twitterese for the subject of your tweet. However, while in this snit, it's best if I stay a safe distance from any social media sites. I certainly would not want to say anything that I would regret or was just plain rude just because I happen to be in this state of agitated irritation.

I try to be kind, supportive and informative in all my social media interactions (and in other circumstance too). I believe my energy is better spent being that kind of person on the social networking sites rather than being crabby, argumentative, up on a soapbox or poking fun at someone or something. So, clearly I better steer clear of social networking until I get out from under this bad attitude.

Think Before You Click: Tips

Unfortunately, there are many who don't think before they hit enter and end up saying something they didn't mean, or worse, saying something they did mean and shouldn't have posted for all to see. If you use any of the social networking sites to connect with friends, co-workers, family, friends of friends or even strangers, there are a number of considerations to review before you strike out on the wide open road of the information super highway: security settings; the nature of what you are posting; who can see what you are posting; and how it can be used.

Some of these tips probably go without saying, but are still worth a reminding:

1. Check your security settings. Make sure they are at the level you desire and you are clear on what that level means;
2. On that note, be sure you understand the social media policy of the networking site you are using, and check the frequent changes in policy;
3. Carefully consider what contact and personal information you put on your page, even if you think it's in an area that is confidential or seen only by your "friends";
4. Never put your phone number, address, Social Security number, credit card information or other sensitive information on your profile or in any post;
5. Never disparage anyone online. It's rude and it could come back to bite you;
6. Post as if someone you don't know and/or have not "friended" is lurking, watching what you are posting;
7. Never post information about being out of town or your location. This leaves you and your home vulnerable to break-ins, etc.;
8. Check your facts and news sources before posting links to information;
9. Don't trust strangers; it may sound trite to say, but it's true. You don't know who is truly behind the avatar and profile.
10. It's probably best not to tweet and drink or to tweet in the heat of the moment; even if you delete your tweet or post, others have seen it and may have shared it;
11. Be choosy about what you click; it could be spam even if it comes from a "trusted friend";
12. Create smart and tough passwords;
13. Check any apps you choose to use with your smart phone or on your computer by Googling it before downloading and providing passwords for it;
14. Use prudence when posting photos of yourself and others, especially your children;
15. Don't post information about your children that they will regret; and
16. Don't leave your kids vulnerable to identity theft by posting their full names, birthdates, birth location, etc.

 

Big Brother

As I pointed out in Monday's post, at least two courts have ruled that social networking site passwords and information found on a person's profile and page(s) are discoverable and are not confidential or private. This question will continue to come before the courts as our laws and court procedures get caught up with our technologically savvy world, and those courts will be looking at the precedent set by the New York and Pennsylvania courts, as well as others.

Other government agencies are using the social networking sites for their own purposes. According to an article by Jaikumar Vijayan on Computer World, a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) lawsuit has been filed against the IRS, Department of Justice, Department of Homeland Security, Department of Defense, CIA and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence because there's evidence that these agencies are using social networking sites for their investigations. "The goal in getting the government to disclose its policies related to such practices is to foster a dialogue on the appropriate use of social networking sites in criminal investigations," said Shane Witnov, a law student and spokesman for the lawsuit at the Samuelson Law, Technology and Public Policy Clinic.

Local law enforcement agencies also use social media to track down fugitives on the lam, sexual predators, scammers, etc. Certainly it's a good thing for persons committing crimes to be caught or those crimes thwarted by law enforcement's stealthy investigations, but it's quite another if the IRS is quietly gathering information to be used against a taxpayer even though its own policy forbids it.

Witnov went on to say, "There is a balance between privacy and protecting ourselves from crime… There are instances where the seriousness of a crime might override privacy rights. But there need to be guidelines on when and how information from social networking sites can be collected."

Of course, government agencies aren't the only ones collecting information: advertisers, third party software developers, identity thieves, and other online criminals also troll social media sites for personal information.

Websites

• This site has a wealth of tremendous information about being safe on social networking sites and keeping your information secure. If you have further questions about information on social networking sites, how to create good passwords or protecting yourself while interacting on these sites, etc., go to http://www.privacyrights.org/social-networking-privacy.
• For a few more, in depth, social networking safety tips go to http://www.networkworld.com/community/tips-for-safe-social-networking?page=0%2C0.

The Scoop

The trick is to always be conscious that it's a safe guess that you and the person you are conversing with on one of the social network sites are not the only two seeing this conversation. Be prudent and a bit paranoid about what you post, both in words and in photos. And be kind. Just because you can't see and may never actually meet the person you are talking to or about, that doesn't give you or anyone else license to bully, threaten or hurt feelings. That's not the purpose of social media. The point is to bring people together; to network; to build and/or maintain relationships; to discuss ideas and information. On Friday, I will post a bit of Motherly Advice. Over and out…

Anna

You might also like:

Death and Johnny Cash: Tips for Getting Your Estate in Order

The Fierce Advocate: Internet Safety Tips for Your Kids

Family Day: The Family that Eats Together Stays off Drugs

Our Comfortable Connection: The Information You Post Online Could Be Used Against You

Minnesota Snow Storm

On Saturday morning, we awoke to a snow storm; our first snow of the season. This is not an unexpected event in Minnesota. Yet this snow was thick, heavy and wet. The kind of snow we get in March. The snow was coming down hard and fast and had already blanketed everything in sight. This is the kind of snow that takes down tree limbs and power lines. We lost electricity at a little before 10:00 a.m. on Saturday and we didn't get it back until Sunday evening.

It was an overcast day and a dark night. At this time of year in Minnesota it's dark by 5:00 p.m., and soon it will be dark by 4:00 p.m. Our nightly routine came early. We ordered pizza and ate in the dark with only the light of a flashlight.

Lights Out

I always find that to be without electricity makes my brain fuzzy and groggy. It's disorienting. Once it's dark, I feel unfocused and distracted. It's unnatural for me. I still try to turn on lights or run a load of laundry or get online.

To be unable to connect to the Internet and do some work, do research for a post, check in on Facebook and Twitter or go through email is quite isolating. I fire up the 'ol laptop and do a quick check of email, blog stats, etc. almost every morning and the computer pretty much stays on, connected to the Internet the rest of the day. This weekend was different; I was disconnected from the rest of the world. While I do have a smart phone that is indeed connected to the world wide web at all times, the battery died and I couldn't charge that either.

Dependence on the Internet

We, as a society, have become dependent on the Internet. We stay connected with friends and family with email, social media sites and Skype; we pay bills; we shop; we check the weather and read the latest news; we look up information; we watch music videos and movies and stream music; and myriad other things. It's a lifeline to the isolated. It connects the world.

Our almost universal use of the Internet and the comfort level with which we have with it, can also get us into trouble. People have lost their jobs because of things they said about employers or other employees; soldiers have been disciplined and missions changed or abandoned due to information revealed; identities have been stolen; and predators have preyed upon victims.

Employee Fired for Disparaging Facebook Comments

Our use of the Internet is changing laws and how courts operate. Just last week, the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) filed a complaint against American Medical Response of Connecticut that fired an employee, who had been reprimanded for attempting to join a union, after she posted critical comments on a social networking site.

The NLRB stated that the firing violated the employee's federally protected workplace rights. American Medical Response insists the employee was let go based on "multiple, serious complaints about her behavior," and "was also held accountable for negative personal attacks against a co-worker posted publicly on Facebook."

American Medical Response reportedly has a policy forbidding employees from discussing the company on social networking sites. The NLRB equates the discussion about the supervisor with other employees on Facebook with employee discussions at the water cooler in years prior to the predominance of social networking sites. American Medical Response believes that the offensive statements made by the discharged employee and fellow employees were not concerted activity protected under federal law.

An Administrative Law Judge will hear this case on January 25, 2011. I'll be watching this case.

Source: NYT, National Law Journal, www.switched.com

Courts Allow Access to Social Networking Sites

If you're like me, you have your Facebook security set to the highest level. So, it's safe, right? You're free to post any information or pictures you wish your "Friends" to see. Not necessarily.

Recently, there have been two cases, one in New York and one in Pennsylvania, where the courts have ruled in favor of allowing access to information from social networking accounts. Both cases involve injuries claimed to be restrictive and extensive, and in both cases photos and other information accessible online showed the claimants smiling and involved in restricted activities.

In Romano v. Steelcase, the case from New York, Romano had fallen off an office chair sustaining "serious permanent personal injuries." Yet her public profiles on Facebook and MySpace "reveal[ed] that she has an active lifestyle and can travel and apparently engages in many other physical activities inconsistent with her claims in this litigation." Therefore, Steelcase, served Romano with a request for discovery asking for "authorizations to obtain full access to and copies of Plaintiff's current and historical records/information on her Facebook and MySpace accounts." She, of course, refused.

The Court ruled "it is reasonable to infer from the limited postings on Plaintiff's public Facebook and MySpace profile pages, that her private pages may contain materials and information that are relevant to her claims or that may lead to the disclosure of admissible evidence." When considering privacy expectations, the Court found "as neither Facebook nor MySpace guarantee complete privacy, Plaintiff has no legitimate reasonable expectation of privacy."

In McMillen v. Hummingbird Speedway, Inc., McMillen "alleged significant and substantial injuries, some of which he claimed may be permanent." Defendants discovered posts, accessing only the public parts of McMillen's Facebook page, they contended showed McMillen had exaggerated his injuries.

McMillen argued that the Court should "recognize communications shared among one's private friends on social network computer sites as confidential and thus protected against disclosure." However, the Court found that while it's plausible that a person could use Facebook and MySpace "as forums to divulge and seek advice on personal and private matters, it would be unrealistic to expect that such disclosures would be considered confidential."

In both cases, the court forced the plaintiffs to hand over passwords for full access.

Sources: www.Law.com , Romano v. Steelcase and McMillen v. Hummingbird Speedway, Inc. slip opinions

The Digital Footprint of an Average Two Year-Old

A recent study conducted by Anti-virus software company AVG, polling more than 2,000 mothers in 10 Western countries found 81% of children under the age of two currently have some form of online presence. This presence ranges from photos online to a social media account in the child's name with a profile. Other findings from the AVG study, according to J.R. Smith at AVG blogs:

1. The average age at which a child acquires an online presence courtesy of their parents is at six months;
2. A third (33%) of children have had images posted online from birth;
3. A quarter (23%) of children have even had their pre-birth scans uploaded to the Internet by their parents;
4. Seven percent (7%) of babies have even had an email address created for them by their parents;
5. More than 70% of mothers said they posted baby and toddler images online to share with friends and family.

Mr. Smith cautioned parents to think about the kinds of information they upload about their children because this information will follow him or her for the rest of his or her life.

Sources: www.Mashable.com and www.publicradio.org

The Scoop

The moral of the story is to be sensible and conservative when posting pictures and information about yourself, your whereabouts, your children, your employer or fellow employees. It's easy to be lulled into a false sense of security when conversing with friends online. It's easy to forget that you aren't alone in your conversation; other friends, agencies, predators could be "watching." No, you don't have to go shut down all of your social networking accounts and take all of your photos offline. But you should ask yourself two things before you post it on the Internet: 1. Is this information or photo conveying the wrong impression? and 2. Could this information be used against me (or child or spouse, etc.)?

On Wednesday, I will post tips for ensuring you are safe and secure while interacting on the Internet. Over and out…

Anna

You might also like:

Welcome to the 21st Century: Laws to Protect Children Using the Internet

Walking a Fine Line: Social Host Laws and Underage Drinking

The Right to Bear Arms in Your Home: McDonald v. City of Chicago

Read All About It: Motherly Law Featured in Minneapolis Star Tribune

Today, Sunday, Nov. 7th, Motherly Law is featured in the Minneapolis Star Tribune. I have been quite nervous awaiting the publication of this article. I even made DH read it before I did; just in case there was something I would need to be told of to soften the blow. But the good news is that the article is nice and well written. The author, Julie Pfitzinger, was lovely, and I quite enjoyed talking with her. In our emails going back and forth setting a time and place for the interview, Julie said she thought an hour would be adequate. I had to chuckle about that. I thought to myself, she doesn't know me. We spent two and a half hours chatting. Yep, that's more like it. I do LOVE to talk.

Thanks to Julie and to Tom, the kind, soft-spoken photographer and their editor, Lee. And thanks to all of you who read Motherly Law on a regularl (or irregular) basis. Oh yeah, and thanks to Pattisserie 46 for allowing us to take the photo there. (If you live in the Twin Cities, please, for the love of a croissant, make your way to Pattisserie 46 as soon as you possibly can - wonderfully kind servers, beautiful sweet treats and melt in your mouth pastries. I know of what I speak of. Trust me!)

Check out the Minneapolis Star Tribune article for yourself. Please remember to share it, if you like it. And check out a few of my favorite blog reads on the side bar of the article. Come back tomorrow for a post about suing minors and a case from New York. Over and out...

Anna