Hanging By a Thread

Sharing is Right, Except When it’s Lies.... {Ferreting Out the “Rats”}

Being Lead Astray

If you see it on Facebook it must be true, right? I mean no one would spread false or misleading or misattributed information on the Internet, and certainly not on Facebook. Those people are my friends, right?

Don't bet on it. Uh, I mean the truth part, not the friend part.

I've noticed a disturbing trend on Facebook of information being recklessly passed from friend to friend at lightning speed without regard to truth or accuracy. If it hits a nerve, is witty or cute or grabs your attention, it gets shared on Facebook. If it has a political implication or is satirical or jaw-dropping, you can bet this information being shared.

Perhaps I'm more skeptical or question more than the average Joe, but I tend to read the quotes and information, and then check it for sources online.

Generally, if it smells like rat and looks like a rat, by Jove, it's a rat. And I have yet to find one that isn't incorrect or misattributed that gave off such an odor.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

Say What?

Picture a distinguished painting of George Washington, our 1^st President and across the image this quote:

"A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which include their own government. ~George Washington"

A few weeks ago, this quote with varying images of George Washington was repeatedly posted/shared on Facebook. It didn't bode well with me. So, I copied it and went in search of the truth.

Here's what I found:

According to Wikipedia, Washington actually said this at the First Annual Address to both Houses of Congress in January of 1790.

"A free people ought not only to be armed, but disciplined; to which end a uniform and well-digested plan is requisite; and their safety and interest require that they should promote such manufactories as tend to render them independent of others for essential, particularly military, supplies. ~ George Washington"

The highly circulated {mis}quote is categorized as a "spurious attribution" on Wikipedia. That is to say that it's not only misattributed to Washington, but no one else said it either. In fact, it's the product of someone {clearly a gun-rights enthusiast, in this case} taking part of a real quote and fabricating the rest to support his or her particular interest.

Snake Oil

This week I saw one on WD-40 that caught my eye. It was interesting; explaining how WD-40 got its name and how it was created and all the ways you could use it. The very end revealed the main ingredient in this lubricant was surprisingly fish oil.

Well, I thought this smelled a little "fishy" {Forgive me; it was too easy} so I looked it up.

According to Snopes.com this bit has been circulating since 2006. Snopes reports that they asked the makers of WD-40 about the extensive list of uses. The manufacturer removed a number of the purported 45 uses outlined in the bogus email/post.

And as for the fish oil, it's a rumor. While there is no ingredient list on the can, there is an MSDA sheet which indicates that WD-40 is petroleum based.

The Scoop

So, next time you spy something on Facebook being shared by your friends, check it out first. You might be spreading gossip. Or worse you could be libeling someone or infringing on someone's copyright.

The moral of the story:

Before you share, think to yourself,

1. Does this smell like rat?
2. Does it look like a rat?

If the answers to these questions are "Yes" or "My opinion is too jaded to know" then do a quick search and see if it is truly a rat. The "interwebs" won't lead you astray {well, if you use good judgment}, even when your friends do. Over and out...

*It would stand to reason that the photo above would be George Washington since I discussed him above, right? But, did anyone notice that I was leading you astray? It's not George, it's John Adams. I happended to have a book on him, but couldn't find a photo of Washington in my home. I figured that it could prove my point about leading astray.

Anna

Random Tidbits: Completely Unrelated, Useful/Interesting/Semi-Important/You Fill-in-the-Blank Information

You know when you're driving along and your kid pipes up and says something like, "Mom, whatever happened to that stick that I picked up last summer when we were walking around that lake?" and then a few minutes later says, "For my next birthday {which is something like 8 months away, generally}, can I have a birthday cake that has Transformers, Mickey Mouse and Word Girl on it?" And the whole time you're thinking I have no idea and where are these random thoughts coming from.

Well, that's what this post is like.

I've had very few minutes to write lately, but I have a number of random tidbits knocking around in my head. It happens frequently that I have a random thought, save a clipping or jot down an idea that doesn't warrant an entire post, but is still worth mentioning. Sometimes I let them linger until I might have enough to weave the tidbits into something more, but often they simply unravel and these loose ends rot away tucked in a file or pasted on a "sticky note" on my computer desktop or randomly written in a notebook.

So, I decided I'd piece together a quick, unconnected run-down of these various bits of information; some tips, some interesting points, some important notes, some simple observations.

1. Tightening the Belt. For a while I had an internal struggle with trying to figure out whether the strap should be locked or left loose or did it even matter. Booster seats. There's just not the plethora of information about these "tween" seats; that is, "in between" 5 point harnesses and a seat belt without a special seat. I know some parents just leave it loose. I always tighten the seat belt strap.
   1. For one thing, Darling 2 is apt to fall asleep in a moving vehicle and slump forward or sideways. If the belt is loose, he could slip right out of the seat or be injured if the belt snapped tight in an accident or sudden stop.
   2. I dug around online and surprisingly didn't find any definitive answers. So, I asked a resident expert; whom I happened to run into at my Caribou Coffee. She said either way is fine. If you have a sleeper or wiggler then it's best to lock the belt. But if your child is older and is not prone to moving around and getting out of the belt, then loose is fine.
   3. So, there you have it. I still tighten out of habit and because Darling 2 still likes to fall asleep in the car, but Darling 1 likes to remind me that he doesn't have to be locked in now that we know the answer to this question.
2. Mythbusters – Distracted Driving. Do you know about Mythbusters? It's a fun program that we found on Netflix over Winter Break. They take various statements or "facts" and put them to the test. On one program they ran their own test to see whether talking on the phone while driving is as dangerous as driving drunk, as some studies have reported.
   1. Now they weren't legally drunk, but they were as close to it as possible; with police officers overseeing the experiment.
   2. And they weren't recklessly driving around on the roads with other drivers. They were on a driving course with an instructor.
   3. But the tests and testers were serious and the drivers were blown away by how difficult it was to stay on task and not break laws by missing signs, weaving, etc. while talking on the phone and after a few drinks.
   4. Their conclusion was that it is not a myth. Texting/talking on the phone is just as dangerous as driving drunk (or almost drunk), and they did indeed feel out of control {and it's rare that they don't bust the myth}. There you have it. So, Phone Down; Eyes Up! {TAKE MY CHALLENGE!}
3. Teachers Packing Heat. Some teachers may have decided to take matters into their own hands when it comes to "securing" their classrooms.
   1. In the weeks following the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, according to MotherJones.com, about 600 teachers in some 15 states have signed up for a free firearms training program offered by Buckeye Firearms Association.
   2. MotherJones.com noted that there are only three states in the U.S. that allow concealed weapons in schools: Utah, Kansas and Mississippi.
   3. Now, 600 is a very tiny percentage of the number of teachers in our country, but it's an interesting note.
   4. I'd be curious to know which 15 states those teachers come from; and how many of those 600 are male and how many are female.
   5. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want my kids' teachers packing heat in class.
   6. And on a lighter note, I just pictured Darling 1's amazingly patient, kind and loving kindergarten teacher from last year, with a gun strapped to her hip; now that puts class rules in a very different light.
4. Boo Indeed! Sometimes you miss the ugly, prickly weed when looking for the "Green."
   1. I found a write up for a product called, Bambooee, in MN Parent under Hot Stuff/Go Green. It says this about the products on this page, "Ta-ta, toxins! These products eschew chemicals and/or promote reuse!"
   2. So, the Bambooee is apparently an earth-friendly, sustainable, reusable paper towel. The packaging in the photo says, "Reusable Washable Bleachable." BLEACHABLE? Earth-friendly? No Chemicals? Hmmmm.
   3. Sorry, but why would someone who is choosing to use this product; to be earth friendly, with sustainable, organic products want to or choose to use bleach on this natural, organic, sustainable product?
   4. Bleach is a toxic, harmful chemical, and if you introduce it to your natural, organic, sustainable, bamboo towel, then you're missing the point. I have a better product for you anyway...talk to me {cough, Norwex, cough}
5. Check Your Sources. OK, I am going to expand on this one in another post, but this issue warrants a quick mention here too.
   1. Please check the accuracy and the source of the information you post, Like and share on social media sites. I have noticed an increase in false information and misattributed, made up quotes zipping around on Facebook lately. It's a good rule of thumb to do a quick search to ensure that you are passing good and true information, before you click it out to your hundreds of friends and/or fans.
6. Loose Lips Sink Ships. And along those same lines, not every conversation or thought or situation should be retold or discussed or mentioned on social media sites.
   1. Some things should be left to the imagination; some things should remain confidential; and sometimes "it just wouldn't be prudent" to post every last detail.
   2. So, let your gut instinct be your gauge, but if your gut tells you everything is fair game; then, let's say,
      1. if it's about someone else, especially if you are in any way related or work together;
      2. if it's not nice or puts that person in a bad light;
      3. if there is a contract of any kind involved;
      4. if it sounds like it could be from a red neck reality show
   3. don't post it at all. Instead, call your mom, your spouse, your sibling or best friend and get it off your chest by sharing it with one person rather the 348 of your closest FB friends.

Over and out....

Anna

 

Related articles

God is with Us {Always and Everywhere}

Loss of Status: The Day Social Media Stopped Talking...to Me {A Bit of a Soapbox}

Social Media is a fickle bitch.

When I first started out, it took me a while to really get the hang of it. Then, after spending hours and hours chatting up perfect strangers on Twitter and reconnecting with people on Facebook, I finally got it.

People responded to me; answered questions, agreed, disagreed and chit chatted about nothing in particular and very particular topics. I felt a part of it all; on the inside.

I made friends with people in the Twin Cities, in NY, in CA, NV, TX, TN and more. Some of those people I have since met face to face and had live conversations with. Some of these people are good friends, even now after two years. Others have faded away with time and absence of true connections.

There was a period of time a few months ago that I was busy with editing work, and a new business and bogged down with stresses of life under pressure that my online communications slowed to a trickle. I just didn't have it in me to have a continually running conversation on multiple accounts during that time.

After several consecutive weeks of low social media usage, I went back online for conversation, comments, interaction; all the things it had meant to me for so long. And a funny thing happened. I talked, but few listened and even fewer responded to me.

Had I lost it? Had a cut ties? Could I get it back?    

Well, perhaps I could if I sat for hours on end making new connections and re-connecting with those I had once counted as a buddy.

But I don't have the time or the energy for such sport. So, what does that leave me? The devoted readers and true friends who still respond; still agree and disagree, regardless of my absence and despite my spotty social media record as of late. And I'm alright with this.

I have found that my feelings about social media change depending on my mood, what's going on in my life, whether my interactions with people are positive or negative and so on. But the thing that remains constant is that I am just not one to share all information to all people in all circumstances; that's just not me. Some feel that they can share everything all the time; and that's fine for them.

And yet, people like me, who pick and choose information to share with the masses and who pop on and off the social media train, making lingering stops and then starting back again a few days later or weeks or months will pay the price. You can't expect your online audience to remain ever vigilant watching and waiting for you to appear and make a statement so that they can respond to you. It simply doesn't work that way.

The online community has a continual running conservation that never stops, not for work or play or birthdays or low times or high times. It just keeps speeding along on the information super highway.

But, I have noticed a difference in the last 6 months or so though. It seems that fewer and fewer people are truly communicating with each other. It seems that there is more and more information posting, like a bulletin board, rather than a conversation. Perhaps it's just me, the people I follow or the times that I'm online; or maybe it's a shift in priorities and habits. Over and out...

Anna

Modern House Call: A Virtual Visit to the Doctor

Medical History

I have a history of allergies; allergies to dust, mold, pollen, etc. I can't really remove these things from my life; unless I went to live in a bubble. And sometimes a quiet, clean, allergen free bubble sounds pretty good, especially at this time of year.

Historically, April is a rough month for me. Here in MN, the temps are up and down; then it's wet; and then it's dry; then it's windy, and on and on. All of these weather conditions make for a sneezy, snotty, achy, fuzzy, bleary-eyed me.

I really hate to go to the doctor's office, but I've had enough sinus infections in my time to know when it's time to get the big guns to fight this pressurized invasion in my head. Part of the issue is that I can never get into to see "my" doctor. In fact, I haven't seen "my" doctor since 2006. Instead, I've seen others in her clinic or gone to urgent care clinics covered by my insurance for a quick exam and prescription.

Virtual Office Visit    

Well, a month or so ago, while listening to music on Pandora I heard an ad for a virtual medical clinic. I was only vaguely tuned in since I don't really listen to advertisements, but I did wonder about it and made a mental note to look it up sometime.

Then, just a few weeks ago, a friend was explaining how she had been sick right before leaving on a business trip. She didn't have time for a doctor visit, but thought she needed some antibiotics for a sinus infection. So, my friend went to the online medical clinic, answered a series of questions and got the prescription she needed to feel better.

So, last night as I sat blowing my nose, holding my head and feeling lousy from the pressure in my ears and sinus cavities as I have for the last week or so, I remembered this virtual clinic. And I decided I'd give it a try.

After answering a series of general health and medical history questions and specific questions regarding symptoms, completing forms for payment, insurance information and picking my preferred pharmacy, my file was submitted to a nurse practitioner.

Less than 30 minutes later, I received a text and email that my treatment plan was available at the site. My prescription had been sent to the pharmacy and she also suggested other treatments such as steam, saline sprays, etc for the pressure and pain in my head.

There was even a photo and name of the nurse practitioner helping me; complete with a get well soon note and instruction to call the number provided if I'm not better in 3 to 5 days. It was 11:30 on a Sunday night, and I had "been to the doctor" and was about to get started on antibiotics.

Online Medical Options

The service I used was Virtuwell by HealthPartners, a MN based not-for-profit HMO. Virtuwell currently serves residents of MN and WI, as well as those who are traveling in those states.

There is another similar service here in MN called Zipnosis. Zipnosis is a part of Fairview Medical Services. Both Virtuwell and Zipnosis were created with many patient safeguards in place, but they are constantly re-evaluating and making changes as necessary, meeting as often as once a week to discuss cases and issues that have arisen through the week; monitoring clinician and patient practices, etc.

For those in MN, here are a few comparisons:

• Virtuwell costs $40 per "visit" and accepts insurance, but you don't have to have insurance to use this system.
• Zipnosis $25 per "visit", but doesn't accept insurance.
• Both Virtuwell and Zipnosis are available 24 hours per day, 365 days a year
• Zipnosis serves MN residents only.
• Both have treatment plans, which may include antibiotics, to you within 30 minutes
• Both provide follow-up care/information if treatment plan doesn't work
• Virtuwell treats patients 2 years and up
• Zipnosis treats patients 13 years and up
• Both have limited services as to what types of maladies they will treat.
  • Anything other than routine infections and easily diagnosed and treated illnesses, will be referred to see a doctor immediately
• Both allow the patient to upload an image of his or her condition, if a visual is necessary. {For skin issues, etc.}
• Virtuwell is staffed by nurse practitioners
• Zipnosis is staffed by physician assistants

There are a few other websites that charge a yearly fee, plus a fee for each call or a flat fee per visit to connect to a doctor for a video or phone consultation and diagnosis for sick patients outside of MN and WI. If you aren't in MN, check out these online medical clinics:

• Ringadoc; and
• MD Live Care

The Scoop

These services save time, money and energy, allowing a person with or without insurance to get treated for common infections from any location whether work, home or in the middle of a hectic schedule at any time of day or night at an affordable flat fee.

There is also room for misdiagnosis and/or misuse of this virtual medical clinic model. Of course, there is always a chance of misdiagnosis and abuse of the system {someone trying to acquire prescriptions for the wrong reasons} should someone go to a clinic and physically see a doctor, as well.

I think that each person must use his or her 6^th sense about whether he or she is really ill with odd, inconsistent or serious symptoms and decide whether to go to their doctor, urgent care or an ER. If not, then this convenient, highly monitored system is probably a good idea for your run-of-the-mill, irritating infections. But I don't think I'll use it for my kids unless it's middle of the night, raging ear infection, etc.

Have you used these services? What's your take on them? Over and out...

Anna

 

 

A Pinterest{ing} Question: Is it Safe to Pin?

Failing to See the Forest for the Trees

A few weeks ago, we tried one of those do-it-yourself yogurt bars where you choose from 16 some odd flavors of yogurt and then pile on the toppings. You can go crazy or keep it modest. I let the boys choose their flavors and toppings with minimal help from me, allowing them to create their own unique treat. They actually kept it pretty respectable with a balance of fruit and candy.

On the way out the door, Darling 1 dropped his cup, spilling some of the kiwi fruit, gummy bears and brownie chunks out on the sidewalk. He panicked and began to go into hysterics, but I scooped it up and assured him that I had saved most of his delicious concoction. Once seated and chowing down on his frozen yogurt treat, he forgot about those lost gummy bears; and despite this small hiccup and near meltdown, he enjoyed his very distinctive "fro-yo" creation.

Sometimes we lack vision and can't see past a small stone in the path that we mistaken for a giant boulder. When that happens it takes insight from others to realize it's not really such a big deal.

Jumping the Gun

About a month ago, a woman wrote a post explaining her tearful decision to close her Pinterest account over fear of lawsuits regarding the photo links she "pinned" on this social media platform. After reading the Pinterest Terms of Use and considering copyright laws she basically panicked, pulled her boards down and spread her paranoid post across the blogosphere. I've been ruminating on this issue since reading the article. And finally, I have a chance to write about it.

For those who don't know, Pinterest is a relatively new social media platform where users can create virtual bulletin boards with different themes. Each time a user places a photo link on a board, it's called "a pin." Many websites have added buttons titled "Pin This" or other similar statements to encourage readers to post the link with a photo to their Pinterest boards.

I do have a Pinterest account, but I admit that I have barely used it and I'm certainly no expert on Pinterest, but my opinion is that this woman made a mountain out of a molehill. There are two issues to address: 1) Terms of Use; and 2) copyright laws. Neither of these issues are unique to Pinterest.

Terms of Use

The woman who sadly left Pinterest was apparently shocked to find that Pinterest claimed indemnity when it came to copyright issues, including attorney fees. Well, let me tell you that all online platforms who have covered all their bases, dotted every i and crossed every t is going to place all the blame squarely on your shoulders and leave your mess in your lap should you violate someone's copyright. And why shouldn't they?

After all, it's not Typepad's {my blog host} responsibility to make sure that I don't infringe on anyone's copyright, etc. They are merely the paid host of thousands of blogs. They are not the regulators of content, nor the owners of any of the content contained within each blog. Just as it is not Pinterest's obligation to ensure that everyone being pinned is alright with this. So, any legal actions, including any costs incurred, are the user's liability not the platform's problem.

This should not have been a shock to this woman. This is standard language in a Terms of Use policy. I would be shocked if the Terms of Use didn't contain these provisions. There's no reason to quit Pinterest because of this standard and fair language.

Copyrighted Material

As with any social media platform, all users should have at the very least a vague understanding of copyright laws in order to protect their own works and protect themselves from getting in trouble if using someone else's original work. I think, in general, misunderstandings about what constitutes copyrighted material and what is an infringement of such copyright abound in the world of social media.

It's actually quite easy to infringe on someone's copyrighted material if you're pinning content on Pinterest, posting photos that you didn't take or writing articles with liberal use of other's written words without permission from the copyright owner.

Here are a few of the basic concepts:

• What type of material is protected by copyright? {the short answer}
  • Copyright protects original works of authorship including literary, musicals. Dramatic and artistic works.
  • Copyright does not include ideas, systems, facts or methods of operation.
• What constitutes copyright infringement?
  • In general terms, a copyright is infringed when a person makes a derivative work, reproduces, performs, publicly displays or distributes copyrighted material without the permission from the copyright owner.
• What is fair use?
  • Fair use is a doctrine that allows for limited use of copyrighted materials without first acquiring permission from the copyright owner.
  • Under fair use, copyrighted material may be used for news reporting, criticism, commentary, educational uses, research and the like.
  • In determining whether fair use applies, a court will look at 4 factors;
    • Purpose and character of the use;
    • Nature of the original; material made for commercial use is less protected;
    • Amount and substance of original used; and
    • Effect that the use has had on the market of the original material.

Pinning without Permission

While "pinning" a photo that acts as a link to the original source, may or may not be considered copyright infringement {the courts haven't considered this specific issue yet}, most website owners are not going to be upset by this link. The pinning to a board in Pinterest will likely cause increased traffic to the original source's site, which for most will be considered a positive effect.

One exception might be photographers who are showcasing photos of clients or selling their art on their sites. These sites are often protected by passwords and/or have water marks on photos and provide language about the use of their photos.

However, should your "pin" not link the material to the original source, a problem could arise. And yet, most likely the first course of action will not be to file a lawsuit. Most of these issues can easily be corrected by contacting the person who is infringing on another's copyright and demand that the offending person take down copyrighted material immediately.

If that doesn't do the trick, a formal cease and desist letter would follow. And then, if there is still infringement or if there is a gross infringement or habitual infringement, a petition would most likely be filed in federal court.

The Scoop

Few with a heavy online presence haven't had to send a demand to take down a page or post or photo. It happens often, whether on purpose or in ignorance. I don't mean to say it isn't a big deal; it is. But it's usually something that can easily be dealt with without filing a lawsuit.

So, should you close up shop at Facebook, Twitter, your blog, Pinterest, et al? I don't think so. But I do think you should know what the Terms of Use that you have agreed to say and understand the basics of copyright law. When in doubt about whether what you're "taking" from another constitutes copyright infringement be sure to look it up; you can find anything online. Oh, and I'm fine with you "pinning" this on Pinterest, sharing it on Facebook or Retweeting it on Twitter Over and out....

Anna

Layers of Cake: Motherly Law’s 2nd Anniversary

The Icing

I used to be funnier. At least that's what my mom told me. And it's true...kind of. Let me clarify. I'm still funny {I am}, but my posts are not as light, fluffy and funny as they were when I first started out here two years ago.

Two years ago, I launched Motherly Law. Two years ago, I shared anecdotes about my life as a mom of two young boys as I provided information about legal issues that affect families. My tales were light and funny coupled with information that is not always so light and certainly not funny like family law, estate law, consumer safety issues and the like. Two years ago, I stuck to a strict schedule of posting on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I didn't dare diverge from my path. Two years ago, I began building an audience from people I knew.

Things Change

Today, 535 posts later, there is not a schedule, and I don't know most of the readers. Today, I post often; as many as 7 days a week. Today, I allow myself to write what I feel and what inspires me and interests me, even if it doesn't have to do with the law or family. Today, I write from the heart. My heart is not always full of funny stories. Sometimes, my heart is broken; sometimes my heart is sassy; sometimes my heart is giddy; sometimes my heart is joyful; sometimes my heart is contemplative; sometimes my heart asks questions; and sometimes my heart has answers.

Two years ago, I wrote what I thought readers would like. Today, I write for me and hope my audience understands where I'm coming from and perhaps have just been where I'm going. Two years ago, I wanted to inform parents about a variety of issues that keep me up at night and might be keeping them up too; today, that wish remains the same.

The First Layer of Cake

And yet, few things have remained the same in the past two years. One year ago, my family and faith were rocked when Will became unemployed. An already snug budget cinched even tighter. The pressure for me to keep our family above the rising water became immense.

My heart was heavy and tired and frustrated and desperate. Last summer, our family was saddened and angered by a brother's divorce. In the last few months, my family has been hurting for my cousin fighting cancer. I have not been feeling so light and fluffy.

However, not every turn has been down. It has been a year of learning, making the small things count, finding blessings and being thankful in the face of adversity. We have been building our lives, our marriage, our family and our faith on a rock solid foundation and these things cannot bring us down. We have {almost} nowhere to go but up now.

I have been writing my way through this difficult year. And you all have stood there with me, holding my hand, patting my back, crying tears of joy and sadness with me. And for that, I am so thankful to have begun building these relationships two years ago.

Defining Motherly Law

Two years ago, I had no idea where Motherly Law would go, how far it would go, whom it would reach or how it would be received. And today, I still don't have the answers to those questions. There are days that I hate the burden of "having to" write these posts and contemplate putting down the pen for good, but most days I love having a space to share dreams, stories, fears, tips, legal issues and paranoid thoughts with all of you.

Two years ago, I didn't think twice about using my phone while driving. In fact, I did it almost every time I got behind the wheel. It was a chance to talk while my little guys were firmly restrained in their car seats. I had no idea that I would become a staunch advocate of stopping distracted driving and bringing awareness to the dangers of using cell phones while driving.

And yet, last March, this very topic took me to New York to be a panelist discussing how to stop young people from driving with distractions because of my passion for these issues. I know that a number of my readers have changed their ways due to my diligence in presenting information and statistics to my readers. I am proud to say that my distracted driving pieces rank high with the search engines and are read on a daily basis even after being posted many weeks, months or even almost two years ago.

Two years ago, I didn't give much credit to my Motherly Advice piece each week. My intention was to add a bit of levity and brevity to the week's posts on heavier legal issues. And yet, the weekly appearance of Motherly Advice has become a greatly loved feature by the readers and much to my surprise, to me, as well. It's one of the few things that haven't changed with the exception of moving from Friday to Saturday. Who knew this would be the case?

The Scoop

There are few things I know for certain; one is that I do love to write {and I think I get better with each passing year}; another is that life will continue to have ups and downs and I will be here writing about the highs, lows and mid-points of being a woman, a mom and a wife; and I'll continue to seek out answers and information regarding legal issues and consumer safety issues that you might find helpful and enlightening as you navigate your way through parenthood and life for as long as I have something to say.

Two years ago, when I began writing here, 2010 was like the top of the cake, light and sweet and fluffy; the icing. The last year, 2011, was the first layer of cake; rich and dense, dark with bittersweet chocolate. I don't know how many layers this cake has or what flavor each layer is, but as the year passes by, the layer will be revealed. Here's hoping it's a delicious cake made up of many layers and a number of flavors and fillings. Over and out...

Anna

Too Much Information? Sharing v. Over-Sharing {Social Media}

Social Media Networks

As I've mentioned before, I was reluctant to join Facebook. I had barely even heard of Twitter. I wasn't interested in social media; I didn't think it applied to me. Two years later, here I am with a Facebook profile and two fan pages, two Twitter handles, two blogs, etc. Clearly, I've gotten past my social media inhibitions and indifference.

Now, it's an extension of my network. I have my Facebook and Twitter accounts open every day; I keep tabs on people I've met and those I haven't; I reconnect with old friends; I share information of importance to me and sometimes others and sometimes I share things of no value at all; and so does half the world.

Culture of Over-Sharing?

I recently read an article saying that we have become a culture of over-sharing due to social media. The author of this article complained that no one cares that another person just had the best burrito EVAH; no one wants to know the mundane details of other's everyday lives. Of course, this author is on Facebook and Twitter and is presumably sharing information. But I suppose his shared information must be valuable and noteworthy to all {at least in his opinion}.

I, for one, happen to like the little tidbits about unexpected finds, fabulous restaurant experiences and the not so lovely restaurant experiences, tasty recipes, observations on how one's day is going, prayer requests, weather reports, funny things their kids said, recall information, colorful commentary regarding politics, celebrities, sports, etc. a quote or two and personal triumphs and tragedies.

If I don't care for something being shared by someone in my stream, I keep scrolling. I follow over 1600 people on Twitter. I don't read everything shared by all of these people. You don't have to read every word posted by everyone you have listed as a friend, a follow or a like.

RESPECT in Sharing

To me, the whole premise of social media is to share! It's not for me to judge what another shares. Just as it's not for others to judge what I share. There are a few things I don't think need to be shared.

Here are my simple rules regarding sharing information:

1. I don't need to know anything that goes on in the bathroom;
2. I don't need to know the intimate details of any relationship;
3. I don't think it's classy to make fun of people or judge people;
4. I don't think anyone should assume that everyone in his or her stream is on the same wave length when it comes to politics or religion; you can share your opinion, but you don't have to be disrespectful of other's opinions.

Really, it all comes down to RESPECT. Share what you will, but consider other's feelings and viewpoints. If I'm interested, I'll read it, maybe comment and perhaps share it again. If I'm not interested that doesn't mean someone shouldn't have shared it, but just that it doesn't interest me; it could be of interest to many others.

The Scoop

I think social media gives people an outlet to connect and share despite distance and location. If someone doesn't appreciate all of the sharing of thoughts, questions, opinions, headlines and "boring" tidbits, then he or she shouldn't be on Facebook or Twitter. You must have something to say at least every once in a while and you must be interested in what other's have to say too. Over and out...

Anna

Restraining Facebook Comments: Two Courts & Two Outcomes

A Change of Status

About a month ago, my Dear Husband Will was closing one Facebook account and attempting to migrate all his friends, connections, information, traffic, etc. over to a different Facebook account. In so doing, before shutting down the one account he changed his relationship status from "married" to "single" as he added me as his wife on his other account.

One would not have thought this would cause such a stir, but it did. On his original account, Will immediately got messages and comments from concerned and well-meaning friends when his status showed up as "Single" in his friends' streams. Will wasn't sure why everyone was so concerned until he realized what he had done.

He quickly assured everyone we were indeed still {happily} married and quickly updated his relationship on his newer account. All of this was unbeknownst to me until I noticed that my Timeline had been updated to reflect that I had just married Will on that day in January 2012.

Again, well-meaning friends who knew better than to believe that update posted messages of congratulations under that relationship update. I had seen a notification to confirm I was married to Will and had done so, but didn't think much of it until he relayed this whole story to me.

Conversations Streams

We use Facebook to share lots of information whether good, bad, game changing, mundane, of interest to all, of interest to only a few. Some people are more laid back about their security levels and who they allow to see the information they post and how much of this information is available to people they haven't approved and granted "friend" status to yet.

People use their Facebook accounts for different reasons. Some use it as a networking tool for business. Others view it as an extension of hanging out with friends at a bar or coffee shop; friends sharing information and opinions. Some people are guarded about what type and how much information they share on this platform, even among friends. Others share just about every thought that crosses their minds; or so it seems.

Regardless of how each of us chooses to use his or her social media outlets, we are all tuned in and we listen to what our "friends" are saying. We react, respond and form opinions based on this information, as illustrated in the above example.

Harassment on Facebook

Courts are still trying to figure out how social media fits with the law. There were recently two cases involving Facebook posts; one from Minnesota and one from Ohio. These cases involve different circumstances and have different outcomes.

Olson v. LaBrie

In this case, Olson found that his uncle had posted old family photos and made mean and disrespectful comments regarding those photos. Olson emailed his uncle requesting the photos and comments be removed or altered to remove Olson; LaBrie refused to do so. Olson eventually filed an application for a Harassment Restraining Order (HRO) against LaBrie.

The district court found that LaBrie's actions did not constitute harassment and did not grant the HRO. Olson appealed and the appellate court agreed with the district court's ruling.

The Court of Appeals of Minnesota held that, "To constitute harassment, words must have a substantial adverse effect on the safety, security, or privacy of another. Minn. Stat. § 609.748, subd. 1(a)(1). Comments that are mean and disrespectful, coupled with innocuous family photos, do not affect a person's safety, security, or privacy—and certainly not substantially so."

So, in the end Facebook was not a component in this case. Regardless of where the photos and rude comments were, they simply didn't constitute harassment under the MN statute.

Byron v. Byron

In this Ohio dissolution case, the Facebook statement made by the husband against the wife who already had a temporary protection order in place due to an incident of domestic violence from June of 2011, was considered to be in violation of the TPO.

In November of 2011, Mr. Byron posted to his Facebook account the following statement: "If you are an evil, vindictive woman who wants to ruin your husband's life and take your son's father away from him completely -- all you need to do is say that you're scared of your husband or domestic partner and they'll take him away!"

Mrs. Byron became aware of this statement even though she is blocked from his account and filed a motion stating he was in violation of the TPO. The TPO restricted Mr. Byron "from causing plaintiff or the child of the parties to suffer physical and/or mental abuse, harassment, annoyance or bodily injury."

The magistrate ruled that Byron had violated the TPO and sentenced him to 60 days in jail and $500 fine or in lieu of this sentence he could pay back child support and post an apology on his Facebook page for 30 days beginning February 13, 2012. The magistrate wrote the apology into the order and required Byron keep his Facebook page active during that time.

Byron complained about free speech issues, but the magistrate reminded him that while we do have the right of free speech, there are limitations; we can't just say anything.

The Byron case is not over. This case will return to court on March 19^th. Once the case is concluded, Byron may choose to appeal the court's ruling on this and/or other grounds. This is certainly one to keep an eye on.

The Scoop

As I said, both of these involve statements made on Facebook. Both have very different outcomes. So, which one is right? Well, both could be. Each state can have different standards and different language regarding various areas of the law.

However, regardless of what the law says in your state, the rule of thumb when it comes to social media is kind of like the old adage, measure twice, cut once. That is to say, think twice before posting what's on your mind; asking yourself will this harm, offend, harass, frighten, disrespect anyone?; and then hit enter once.

We certainly do have the right to say many things and post those things on Facebook if we wish, but if it's harmful, offensive, disrespectful, etc. expect that some may block you, tell the person you are making remarks about, unfriend you on Facebook and maybe in real life too and perhaps even take the matter to court. This open forum does not give you an unfettered right to say ANYTHING that comes to mind. Over and out...

Anna

The View from the Passenger’s Seat: Distracted Driving {On a Soapbox}

Dallas Morning Traffic

As we sped along in the Dallas morning traffic, my mom noticed that he seemed to be texting. I was seated directly behind him and couldn't see his phone. She spoke up; prompted by all the information she's absorbed from Motherly Law over the last two years.

She kindly, but firmly explained {our} strict no phone use while driving policy. She told him I'd been on a national panel on distracted driving; I had done research; I'd written articles; and we were serious. He said he wasn't texting. He seemed surprised by our hard line stance. He said he wouldn't use it.

He still answered the phone and then placed a quick call while he drove on the highway. He wasn't even using a hands-free device; not that it matters to me. My rule is NO PHONES while DRIVING...Period. Later, he fussed and fiddled with his GPS mechanism that had stopped working en route to my destination.

I didn't say anything after our first explanation of no phones while driving. All the while I was wrestling with myself as to what to say; what to do. Here I was a passenger in a vehicle where the driver was using his handheld phone, texting or checking email or something that looked like that, messing with his GPS settings, and I felt trapped.

Paying Passenger

Here's the part that really bothered me; I was in a taxi. I was paying this person to drive me. Shouldn't I be able to tell him if I didn't like the way he was driving if he was being reckless or distracted; driving too fast or going out of the way or missing a turn, etc.?

I'm not speaking about legal issues here. Civil and criminal negligence involving a crash and injuries or death are one thing and laws cover those issues. What I'm pondering is while riding as a passenger is it considered rude or overstepping to tell a paid driver whether or not he can use the phone while driving me?

Part of me says absolutely not. I have a right to be safe while in a vehicle regardless of who is driving. In fact, part of me says that I have even more right to tell him how to drive since I'm paying him to drive me. The other part of me doesn't want to anger the stranger driving me by having strict rules regarding his driving habits.

By the by, in the end, I had to use my GPS on my phone to direct him to my destination since his GPS locked up. I felt safer and in control; two things I like.

Federal Government's Crusade

Incidentally, on Thursday the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) proposed guidelines for vehicle manufacturers that would aid in their development of electronic devices and in-vehicle technology; helping to balance what the consumers want with sufficient safety.

These guidelines also suggest disabling a number of the electronic devices available while the vehicle is in motion with exception to passenger devices or those that can't be reached or viewed by the driver, including "visual-manual text messaging, Internet and social media browsing, 10-digit phone dialing, navigation system destination entries by address and displaying more than 30 characters of text unrelated to the driving task."

While these proposed guidelines are voluntary, the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers, a coalition of 12 car and light truck manufacturers, helped craft these guidelines and are not expected to be burdensome to the manufacturers.

If you have an opinion regarding these proposed guidelines published in the Federal Register, the public has 60 days to comment before public hearings are held in D.C., L.A. and Chicago to discuss the proposed guidelines.

U.S. Transportation Sec. LaHood has been on a crusade for the last several years, as have I, to raise awareness to the reckless, needless tragedy of distracted driving. Over 3000 people died in 2010 as a result of distracted driving. President Obama has called for $330 million over 6 years to aid distracted driving awareness programs.

The Scoop

It's my position that while this is an extremely important issue it shouldn't take a single dime to convince drivers to do the right thing; the thing that saves lives; lives that could be theirs or their families' lives. That is, simply put the phone away while driving. Nothing is more important than a life. These are words I have repeated over and over in the last two years, and I stand by them. Words to live {& not die} by: Phone Down, Eyes Up! Enough Said.

Psst! Grab my Phone Down, Eyes Up Button {copy the code under the distracted driving button on the top right column and put it on your blog/website} and check out the links to all my distracted driving posts from the past two years, plus my 2012 Phone Down Eyes Up Challenge. Thanks for your support. Over and out...

Anna

The List: The Social Media Addict’s Christmas List

You might be a Social Media Junkie if you have any of these items in your or on your Wish List. If you don't understand what these gifts are or why anyone would want them, you aren't a key Social Media Player {sorry to break it to you}. Either way, if you or someone on your Christmas List is Social Media Consumed then you're going to want to check out this List. If for nothing else, it's worth a chuckle. I, for one, think these items are Fabulously Social Media Geeky Chic, which is the look I'm going for these days!

Check out these ultra cool finds: 

1. "Follow Me" Tights by tattoo socks. These cool tights come in several shades and lengths and each with the familiar tweeting bird and "Follow Me" request are good for a laugh and probably a few follows on Twitter too. The other tights on this site are really cute too {in case you haven't been bitten by the Social Media Bug}, but my heart belongs to Twitter.
2. Twitter Handle & Hashtag Jewelry by Survival of the Hippest and Blend Creations *See Discount Code Below. Find necklaces in several styles at these links. I like the SATC "Carrie" style the best, but it all depends on your style. Use @ plus handle or # plus handle, word or phrase at both sites. Hmmmm....let's see simply @MotherlyLaw or @Motherlylaw <3 @Will_OpenDoorSM, perhaps or maybe #PhoneDownEyesUp...
3. QR Code or Emoticon Cufflinks by Blend Creations. So debonair; so dashing; something every #SM gent should have. To me, the QR Code links offer a more sophisticated look. These tiny barcodes are actually encoded with a secret message of your choosing too. *See Discount Code Below
4. Social Media Icon Throw Pillows by Craftsquatch. I love these colorful decorative pillows. Whether outfitting your office, game room, bedroom or play room I would think that every Social Media Addict would have a room for these soft icons.
5. MiFi from Novatel Wireless. This handy gadget allows you to have a wireless internet connection anywhere you happen to be. In fact, you can connect up to 5 wireless enabled devices at one time, including cameras, computers, music players, game players, etc. It's small; it's safe; it's great for travel; working remotely, etc.
6. Tec Touch Gloves found at Dick's Sporting Goods and other locations. For those of us in the colder regions of the planet, these warm gloves allow for tweeting, phoning, texting, game playing and any other touch screen application necessary for smartphones and/or tablets. The special "pods" on the thumb and index finger of these gloves allow for easy operation of touch screen technology without taking glove off. Nice!
7. EatTweet, a Twitter Cookbook (in photo above) available locally at Kitchen in the Market or at eat-tweet.com. All recipes are in the form of tweets; that is, 140 characters or less and were originally tweeted out by the cookbook author, Maureen Evans who goes by @cookbook on Twitter. Very cool and a bit challenging; one must be careful not to get lost in the translation.

What's on your list?

*UPDATE: This just in...Blend Creations is offering Motherly Law readers 15% off orders of $50+ until 12/31. Use the promo code: MotherlyLaw (not case-sensitive); Crazy Cool!

I just had to get this posted even though I ran out of time on Sunday, cuz I like this stuff, but I will be posting a Recipe from my #VirtualCookieRecipeExchange later today. Over and out...

Anna